My mother’s ex-husband (not my father!):
My shotgun and several dozen shells of assorted weight 12ga. shells (3" magnum preferred).
quote:
Originally posted by Phlosphr
Mulleted White Supremist: - emptied in ground pool, vasoline, gerbil, handcuffs, ten pound dumb bell, German-English Dictionary, and a Condalisa Rice rubber mask.
Still trying to get rid of mental image of giant gerbil with vasoline and handcuffs emptying out Mulleted White Supremist into ground pool…
You fiend!
Me? Well -
All I need is my personality. Bwahahahahaha!
Regards,
Shodan
Who: Certain man in a club I used to be in, name suppressed to protect the guilty.
Where: Police interrogation room will do just fine.
Tools: “Truth serum” (sodium pentathol?), straight jacket, video camera, an interrogations expert, a list of every female we both know, and several young & hungry DAs from the city’s Special Victims Unit.
Timothy McVeigh.
Public driving range.
A couple of 4x4 pieces of wood, restraints, several hundred range balls and a Callaway Big Bertha II.
I’d rack him up about 10 feet in front of me and work that slice right out of my tee shot.
My molester stepfather, a secluded field, some cheese-wire, a power drill, and a gator to feed the body parts to.
.:Nichol:.
A group of Holocaust deniers. (Sorry. I mean “revisionists.”) A convincing replica of a gas chamber. A small army of actors dressed as the Zionist conspiracy. And tear gas.
I don’t think that would convince them either, but if I got just one to wet himself, it would be worth it.
Ummm, is it ok if I just take Jennifer Love Hewitt, a cozy couch, and a bottle of champagne?
A professor of piano who’s name is David.
I want tweezers and a flashlight to find his dick and then I need a pair of wirepliers.
Retibution Minnesota style…
Rush Limbaugh
50 vat of Lutefisk, duct tape, Kevin Spacey, 1001 Ole and Lena Jokes.
My ex, and my ex-best friend.
Need some Krazy glue, 40-grit sandpaper on a belt sander, and some habanero sauce.
Y’all want to fuck? Allow me to set up your foreplay for ya…
Well, now we’re talkin…
This moron, goes by the name of John…
An abandoned steel mill
A chair, a car battery, a stripped box spring frame, two nickels, a bucket of bleach, a dozen half-starved ferrets, a bald badger, a squirt pistol full of pepper sauce, a sewing machine, rusty barbed wire, a piano, 10 deep sea fish hooks, sail cord, and a mullet knife.
and about three days.
—What Would Scooby Doo
December. Andrea Dworkin. A pit too deep to climb out off. And both of them handcuffed to their chairs, facing each other
Honey, be sure to shave his head and his ass…the gators will eat the rest, but they spit out the hair. No hair, no DNA evidence.
Do NOT ask how I know this.
The girl that sits next to me at work.
A chair, rope, ball gag, her husband, the long list of men she’s fucked since they’ve been married.
I wouldn’t need to physically hurt her, just put her in her place for once. Just thinking about it makes me feel better.
Not to be a bitch killjoy or anything, but is anybody else mildly disturbed by this thread?
yup.
what’s funny to me is that it was “ok” to talk about a barb wire encrusted dildo when the victim was a man, but mention a woman and KY jelly and all of a sudden, Rape is never ok !!
unless its a man… hang on, I hear the PC thread calling
What disturbs me is that nobody seems to have read the thread title:
Ten minutes with the Asshole of your choice. Who/where. What tools do you need?
Not weeks or days, but ten minutes. That makes it more of a challenge.
In my case:
(1) Who: The guys who burglarized and torched my place in 1986, destroying all my books (which were worth a lot more than the tv and stereo these idiots took).
Where: A quiet basement.
Tools: Just a 4-foot length of rattan.
(2) Who: President George W. Bush.
Where: Geneva.
Tools: Whatever it takes to make him listen to me for ten minutes and actually think about it.
(3) Who: Attorney General John Ashcroft.
Where: A publicly-funded rehab center/home for unwanted calico cats.
Tools: A nicely-bound copy of the U.S. Constitution.
(Realistically, of course, it’s highly unlikely that anything I say would have any influence on the twisted thinking of these individuals.)
(4) Who: Elliot Abrams, former Deputy Secretary of State and currently on the National Security Council.
Where: Peace Corps convention.
Tools: Bare hands. Actually I’d just kick him in the nuts.
Yep, this thread is kind of disturbing. One thing that bothers me is how often people who have a hatred for a Muslim, such as bin Laden, fantasize about abusing him in some way specifically offensive to all Muslims, such as forcing him into intimate contact with pork.
Who: Phil Donahue.
Where: Brickyard, North Carolina State University.
Tool: Truckload of rotten produce.
Who: The professor who recommended Phil Donahue as Spring commencement speaker for NC State.
Where: Same place.
Tool: Whatever’s left in the truck after Phil’s 10 minutes.