That’s “hoot” not “hooter” though it’s certainly got plenty of those. Empowered is the story of a C-list superheroine whose embarrassingly revealing supersuit (the source of her powers) frequently malfunctions and leaves her in dire peril, frequently leading to damsel in distress situations. The book is getting lots of praise from all over for its humor. Here’s the Comic Book Resources article on Empowered.
I’ll give you ten reasons it’s funny, those who’ve read it will know what I’m talking about, those who don’t will have to guess. Don’t worry, I won’t be giving away the whole shooting match – it’s a 240-page trade paperback, 8X10, chock full o’ stuff:
You WET YOURSELF in my SUIT??!!
Been hiding in the bushes with a chained superherioine for HOURS now. Where are you jerks?
This CANNOT be happening to the FUSION-PHALLUSED violator of WORLDS!!!
No accursed “Tuck Rule” will SAVE your precious Tom Brady THIS time!
Bad shark! Bad shark!
And you thought YOUR conception story was TOTALLY embarrassing!
So … she’s pretending to be someone else who’s pretending to be HER???
And the great part was, you could always blame SUPERHEROES for everything!
It’s a tough question. To do a proper job of playing Empowered, an actress needs the following qualities:
She should be able to do comedy very, very well. If the movie is ever going to rise above Skinamax level fare, it’ll have to effectively use all the great humor and parody elements Warren created in his comic. A pretty actress who can’t do comedy will kill the movie all by her lonesome. This rules out a LOT of actresses, and it’s not even the most stringent standard.
The actress should be bootylicious – nice rack, nice hips, ample bottom. A fair amount of the humor in Empowered derives from body image issues she possesses, combined with being forced to wear a special suit that’s thin as a coat of paint (the suit gives her her powers, and it malfunctions if she wears anything over it OR under it). This is in fact the most stringent standard – most Hollywood actresses are skinny, and would be eliminated here.
The actress should be willing to do practically-nude scenes. A lot. Also be willing to be tied up and gagged. A lot. She should be a hottie, which to my mind means physically attractive and LIKES showing her body off and likes sexy scenes.
The closest I’ve got to a top contender here is Jennifer Love Hewitt. She’s bootylicious. I think she’s done mild comedy before, though I don’t really know how good she is at it. I’m not sure if she’s willing to do nude or bondage scenes. I don’t believe she’s done any, but that just might be because she hasn’t seen any projects she likes that involve them.
Amanda Byne is really good at comedy, but is not all that bootylicious and not a likely prospect for nude scenes.
Jessica Alba might be able to do comedy, but she doesn’t care for nudity so she’s not really a hottie.
If Melissa Joan Hart was still able to convincingly play a twentysomething – it’s possible, she played a teen forever – she’d be great, since she does comedy well. But I wonder about her and nude scenes. She showed up in Maxim in a state of “do me” a couple of years ago, so she might be willing. I guess I’d put her right under JLH if she’s still capable of looking twentysomethingish.
Jennifer Connelly and Christina Ricci were once bootylicious, but then they had to go and get their breasts reduced …
The best example of a hottie who can do comedy is Jennifer McCarthy, but her humor is kind of hard-edge for the chracter, and I’m not sure she’s still twentysomethingish-looking.
I haven’t read the book-- but I’ll play casting director along with Evil Captor. Amanda Peet is totally bootylicious. She’s not extremely voluptuous but she’s got some assets. She also does a good job with wry comedy and isn’t afraid to show.
Maybe Tyra Banks or Salma Hayek? Would ethnicity matter?
Both are safe for work. Of the two I like April for the part best, but both have the proper assets. Not sure how much range the character needs as an actor.
Well, she’s appeared in several comedies, most notably Wedding Crashers. In that her role was pretty much one line and a boob shot, so it’s not much evidence. Haven’t seen any of the others.
April has similar assets, though on a more athletic frame which fits the super hero role. Plus her ditsy character on Two and a Half Men strikes me as a possibility for the comic character based on the very cursory review I’ve made.
You make your point well. The photos cited confirm April’s babeliciousness, especially her racketilliousness, to an extreme degree. Now if only her butt is a tad larger than it should be.
She’s an excellent comedienne, but probably a little sharp with the tongue for this role. It would be hard to buy her as “insecure.” I could see Silverman perfectly, though, in one of the early stories where Empowered is playing for time with some baddies by telling lies about the sexual proclivities of her fellow teammates.
I kinda thought she WAS skinny. And the role doesn’t really require nudity per se, just wearing a suit that pretty much makes her LOOK naked. (Think Mystique’s latex body suit. So she would in fact make a good candidate. Especially since she does that good-hearted, sexy young thing role very, very well.
She does. But she also looks like some incaranations of Supergirl. Warren has said in interviews that Empowered isn’t intended as a parody of any other particular character.
