Actually, the oldest retrievable thread that I could find is
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=1458&highlight=rules
This was on 3-11-1999.
Which shows how badly out of order the database became at some time. I’m glad you found that.
This one is about the rules for the first forum for fighting. The BBQ Pit rules. Short and sweet. This would never fly now.
Nah. I think if has to do with the changeover from UBB to vBulletin. Nothing more sinister than that.
Harmonious Discord, you just linked to the same thread that you quoted in samclem’s reply. 
I was going to think up a witty and clever way to point this out, but I’m giggling too hard to think of something.
Edit: Oh, I see, you realized that yourself but were providing a little summary. OK, OK. I’m still giggling a little bit, though.
I don’t think so. I remember the original penis ensued (the poster had meant to type panic ensued) was due to odd discharge caused by eating a whole bag of olestra potato chips.
Wow… That’s an amazing thread right there…
Tubadiva! So young, so carefree! And those other posters… who were they- I can see **Opal **in there. But who else? It’s like a Rosetta Stone - source that led up to the current Pit Rules…
Yeah, it was Anastaseon, if I remember correctly.
No, it was definitely in the early 2000s.
There was one which is about a doper paying tribute to his dog (a greyhound? can’t remember) which is usually goofy and don’t take itself too seriously but once fought off a couple of stray fericous dogs.
Yeah, I remember taking part in it, which means it was at least late 2000.
That thread make me seriously misty.
Now I’m laughing.
Nothing like this can possibly be complete without at the Esprix’s ‘Ask the Gay Guy’ threads. I realize there’s been several of that style of thread over the years but Esprix started it all and was downright near a public service.
I remember a massive geek out thread about the respective combat capabilities between the Enterprise and a Star Destroyer. Trek geeks Vs Star Wars geeks no holds barred. Page after page of debating the imaginary characteristics of spaceships in fictional universes, it was a blast. The last time I tried to search came up a bust maybe it was one of those forever lost threads.
During the Winter of Lost Content I have fond memories of the temporary board being set up as a stopgap measure and everyone eventually showing up there like war refugees.
WOW thanks for finding it, what a treat! I miss Spoofe!
I’ve got links to many of these, if needed.
I’ll just throw out one of my favorites, which I don’t think has been mentioned - how often does a Mod note lead to song parodies?
Please do not post complete lyrics to songs!
That’s exactly the type of landmark I’m looking for in a chronology … the first “ask the” thread! I just need to start assigning dates to all this.
Thanks!