My apologies if the thread title is too long.
In the movie Terms of Endearment, I guess the older son is supposed to be a problem child, because his grandma ends up smacking him. But is he the problem, or is it the family’s dysfunction?
The two boys leave the house while mom and dad are having a loud, nasty argument. Emma finds them a few doors down, and when he says they left because “I didn’t want people to think we lived there,” then adds, “You’re driving Daddy away!”. But he says it will all the frustration and pent-up anger I felt when my mom forced me to stay in the room while she and my dad went off on each other.* I don’t blame him for not wanting to listen, or draw attention to himself in that situation.
Then she says, “Don’t make me hit you on the street.” Why should she hit him at all? He shouldn’t have to listen to their bullshit; that’s probably why he’s so disaffected. Does she think that hitting him will make him okay with the altercation he just heard?
Later, Aurora tells him "The Boy Scouts in Houston (where she lives) are some of the best around. He mumbles, “We were never scouts. Our mom was too lazy to check it out.” So he gets smacked. But what did his mom do, besides having an affair? My mom brooded and drank, and I resented her for it. His mom is disorganized and neurotic, so he resents her. He’s displaying the symptoms of his family’s dysfunction; he’s not the cause of it.
I read the book as well as seeing the movie, and the character is consistent between both. I never read nor saw the sequels, but I would hope that Nicholson’s character dealt with him in a straightforward manner and became a mentor to him, maybe helping him find some direction.
I just don’t like the implication, “Oh, poor Emma, she has to deal with all this, including a problem child!” How’d he get that way, huh?
*My dad picked his share of arguments, but he made an effort to be sure I wasn’t around before he started anything. If I was already in the room, it was usually her. Not always, but usually.