Terrible love scenes in film

So, as a companion to the Great Love Scenes in Filmthread, I bring you Terrible love scenes in film.

Obviosly, one must tip ones hat to the scene in Showgirls where Nome is having sex in the pool and then starts to flop around like a carp having a seizure. But what else?

Wow, that is a typo riddled mess. Sorry folks, hit submit when I wanted to preview.

Madonna and Willen Dafoe getting it on on the roof of a car covered with broken glass. Mmmm… Sexy… NOT.

There’s a dreadful Antonio Banderas movie (which is, of course, why I watched this piece of crap) called, er, I think Never Talk to Strangers. It’s got one of those crazy sex scenes where normal people are acting like they’re about to have sex and then there’s funny rays of dusty attic loft light and he’s up against a bizarre chainlink cage he just happens to have in his apartment and she’s biting his ass. I can only imagine the direction: “Now, bite his ass!” If that sounds sexy, let me assure you, it isn’t.

What movie is that from?

I’ll have to vote for the sex scene in Matrix Reloaded between Carrie-Anne Moss and Keanu Reeves. Beyond that, I’d have to put in the whole city full of humans dancing sexy and obviously going to have a big orgy soon part. Just made me cringe.

Just about anything in Autofocus. An incredibly well-done movie – but it does leave you thinking, “ew, sex, no thanks” afterwards.

What, this thread’s already 7 posts old, and no one has mentioned Attack of the Clones yet?

Body of Evidence?

Jerry Maguire




Darn, I was going to nominate Attack of the Clones. And really, all the love-related scenes in the Matrix films were awful. Reloaded just had the worst of the bunch.

Well, Jude Law and Rachel Weisz, both tired from a day of sniping Germans, got it on, fully dressed, in a large room filled with exhausted Soviet soldiers in Enemy at the Gates.

It’s an otherwise cool movie, and Weisz is damn hot, but ewwwwww…


Why would anyone want to do that with Mitchell, Joel?

That’s because there isn’t a single Star Wars character with functional reproductive organs besides Han Solo.

I’ve always thought that seen was one of the hottest, best love scenes I’ve ever scene.


Are you gonna be the one to tell that to Chewbacca? Personally, I’m willing to bet that if we ever encountered a female Wookiee in the movies, that we would have learned just a little bit more than we wanted to about nonhuman anatomy.

And I’m very sincerely hoping that Leia’s are functional as well, or at least a very good facsimilie of functionality.

In my MST3K reference guide, they mention that scene as the one of the most horrific scenes they ever had to sit through. And that Baby Oil on the table was the worst.

I confess, this whooshes right over my head. I assume this is a MST3K reference, but which movie were they screening at the time?

(I ask out of morbid curiousity only. I promise I really really won’t rent the movie. Probably.)

The scene in The Graduate when Benjamin and Mrs. Robinson get together for the first time is painfully awkward, but then it is supposed to be.