Are you ready for these? You sure? OK, here ya go:
> >> > These are Girls’ ads … taken from shaadi.com
> >> >
> >> > These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling
> errors
> >> > have
> >> > no
> >> > place in a profile description as everything is straight from
> the
> >> > heart!
> >> > i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblem in my life because i am
> from
> >> > lucknow [Edit: regular city in India] i
> >> > am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot
> >> > Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever.
> he may
> >> > never
> >> > create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the
> entire
> >> > life
> >> > can
> >> > run smoothly. thank you
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd
> have
> >> > one
> >> > brother and one sister. he should be educated.
> >> >
> >> > HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY
> BODY
> >> > TO
> >> > LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE
> REAL
> >> > MESSENGER OF
> >> > GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST
>
> >> > BELIEVE
> >> > IN
> >> > GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET
> BORED
> >> > WITH
> >> > ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
> >> >
> >> > my family histoy my two brother two sister and
> >> > fater&mother
> >> > sister completely married
> >> > my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige
> me
> >> > pleaes
> >> > pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable
> >> >
"As hobbies go, I am an avid gamer and enjoy delving into the myriad artistic realities of anime (the origin of my affinity for Asian culture, which is frankly superior). "
Okay, first of all, “realities of anime?” Does he think that there are really tentacle monsters ravishing young ladies all over Japan?
Secondly…oy. He’s taking his information about Asian culture from its cartoons? Yes, if you analyze the fictional entertainment from any culture, you can draw conclusions about that culture, but I don’t think he’s really taking an academic approach. And he may be grossly misunderstanding what he’s seeing.
Newsflash, sweetie: Anime isn’t a documentary. Japanese teenagers do not really spend all day riding bikes around in the woods, capturing little monsters, and training them to battle each other.
*You MUST fulfill the following requirements:
Asian
Woman
Aged NO MORE THAN 23
and NO LESS THAN 16
Petite build. Ideally no more than 115 lbs.
but no ‘Paris Hilton’ bulimics please! I like my women with some meat on them.
Like sushi, anime, and video games. *
Hey, I know a girl in Toronto that fits all of these qualifications! Except she’s 24. Too bad.*
And oh, yeah. Even if a girl like that did like nerd-boys, she could get a much better nerd-boy than this jokester.
*BONUSES include: - Japanese heritage … - Traditional Ladies’ education *
What on earth is “Traditional Ladies’ education?” Is he looking for a trained geisha or something?
That ad would be hilarious if it only included the text, but that picture just puts it right over the top.
I don’t really know a girl like this in Toronto. Please don’t PM me for her number.
I miss the personal ads in the weekly alternative rag, since they went online.
I always wonder, just how many lonesome, randy women take up the offers by the many men who are willing to stop by their houses in the afternoon for a quickie, or ‘oral services’, to any woman? Age, weight, race irrelevant! Just pop by a complete stranger’s house for some afternoon delight! What could go wrong?.. I don’t see any women putting in similar ads, though a lot of them are looking for a sugar daddy to take them out to the casino…And the plethora of studs who are offering themselves up for threesomes (“let me pleasure your wife while you watch!”) - there are SO many! Do they actually get some action, or is it just wishful thinking? Again, don’t see women advertising, and if they are, they expect cold hard cash.
My favorite some years ago was a long-running ad, for over a year, by a gay guy who was very, very specific just what kind of partner he was seeking. He was looking for a young man between 18 and 22, who wore Levi’s 501 jeans only, had to have medium long black hair and green eyes, meet certain height and weight requirements, and most importantly have a waist measurement of 22". Dude, look into a Japanese robot! (or was he searching for a look-alike of a previous boyfriend). The ads stopped for a while and came back with the explanation he had found who he was looking for, but unfortunately it didn’t work out…
I thinks it’s hilarious to look at the “casual encounters” sections of craigslist. Check out the ‘women for men’ and then the ‘men for women’. For m4w, there’s rows and rows and rows of posts like “I need to get laid tonite” or “looking for a threesome over lunchtime today” or “come over right now and let me oral you”… and then in the w4m, there’s like 2 posts over the last 6 months, and one is a spambot.
Do these guys really think that there are tons of women in the greater Tucson area, hovered over their computers, just waiting for that special invitation from a stranger to come over for anonymous sex? Really? Does this ever work out for any guy, ever?
The picture really does put that ad over the top. Okay, you are a prototypical nerdboy. You are nerdier than nerdy. And you want an Asian goddess to join you in your mother’s basement. Hell, for all I know, he actually found someone - the world is a very strange place.
Ha! :dubious: It takes a lot of creativity to come up with all that (and where did he/she find that picture?!?). The responses must be pretty funny, too.
The following ad appeared in the women seeking men section of the Philadelphia Weekly
" #1 When I was young, my father would grow tomatoes red like anger and I would eat them whole like apples.
#2 I used to call Pepto Bismol “bishop ship ship”
#3 When I saw the cobblestones were gone from Camac and Walnut street, I almost cried.
In his favour,Perseus has great taste in tshirts. Except, dude, don’t wait for a 115lb Asian chick with meat on her bones to come in to your life to do your laundry, 'K? Throw that thing into the Whirlpool. Thanks muchly
I’ve seen shorter. Back in the late '80s the Florida Flambeau published an ad off and on for a couple of years that simply said:
Minimalist seeks woman
That was it. I had a friend on the sports staff and at a party one night I asked the managing editor if it was legit or if the staff sometimes placed fake ads. He swore it was legit.
ETA: Alice’s post made me remember, and then I almost forgot, to mention a site that dissects bad personals from men: Why Women Hate Men. Very funny site!
