Wow. Douche-nozzle doesn’t begin to cover this guy!
Oh, I had forgotten how much fun Craigslist ads could be…
Ever notice how no-one respectable describe themselves as ‘gentlemen’ anymore?
My favorite part was when he explained to the imaginary women that they were still single because THEY ARE TOO PICKY AND THEY DON’T LIKE A NICE GENTLEMAN LIKE HIM but in the FAQ (wha whaaat?) when the imaginary women asked why he’s still single, it’s like, “cuz bitches be crazy”, which, props for being consistent, but maybe turn that hypercritical gaze around on yourself buddy.
Or, actually, don’t. Just… keep posting on Craigslist and wait for Ms. Right to find you. I’m sure you won’t die without having the opportunity to pass your awesome attitudes down to the next generation.
Sorry, I couldn’t make it past the first FAQ - I have a low threshold for improper use of quotation marks. 
Back in the olde SD AOL days, there was a woman who was searching for a “Chivalrous Man”. In order for her to read your email and send you a response, you had to read some HUGE manifesto she posted online and correctly answer 9 (I think it was) questions to prove you had closely perused her screed.
Any old timers here remember her? Tuba? CK? Diane? Gus?
Isn’t the non-douche version of this just OKCupid? You answer questions, and specific how you want the other person to answer, using a measure of importance (don’t want kids - deal breaker vs. don’t like broccoli, okay fine).
Cat Whisperer, that’s the part that bothered you? His text scans like he is Dr. Bronner or the Time Cube guy and of similar sanity.
My favorite part was probably the bit where he told lesbians not to waste his time by contacting him with offers of friendship. This is doubtless a huge disappointment for all the lesbians in the LA area who read men seeking women personal ads on Craigslist. “What a bummer, and he seemed like he’d be such an awesome friend!” Ellen DeGeneres was not quoted as saying to Portia de Rossi.
Whee!
Shocking.
“What” “an” “ass” “hole”.
Hey, the guy is just like Hugh Hefner, in that he’s taken the time to think carefully about how he wants to live and has taken the steps needed to realize his dream! 
That’s right. He’ll wine them and dine them, but he doesn’t let them tell him what to do. He doesn’t. let them. tell him what to do.
That’s the part that made me stop reading after a few paragraphs. I’m sure the rest of his screed would have annoyed me, too. 
My reading is that he wants a virgin who will have sex with him, but he won’t promise to marry her. Someone who will appreciate him, but he might or might not spend money on her. And he wants a woman who will make a relationship with him into her first priority.
Now, I admit that he is correct in that if he’s actually looking for a RL relationship, then either the woman should be in the area, or willing to travel to him at least some of the time.
I’m willing to bet that he’s closer to 39 than he is to 30, and I’m not really surprised that he’s not married by now.
The fact that he won’t tell just how old he is until he meets the girl is fucking bizarre. “I’m 20-30 years old but I won’t tell you exactly how old until you show up in person.” 
Is that game? Some weird PUA schtick?
It seems his personal fortune is a result of striking it rich in his apostrophe mine. No one else could afford to be so generous with the use of these rare and valuable items.
Actually, he sounds like quite a catch, especially in view of his Iranian AND Persian ancestry! What a combination! Iranian business acumen and Persian old-world charm!
(Yes; I know, but does he?)
I LOVE the way he RANDOMLY “capitalizes” words and uses “air bunnies” for EMPHASIS. That’s the MARK of a true “gentleman”.
Dang. I’m married, have a daughter, live 3000 miles from him and I’m nearly 60 - can I be any more of a loser in his eyes??
The idiocy - it burns!!!
I “thought” he “wrote” a VERY thorough ad, “although” it’s a BIT OBVIOUS he thinks VERY “highly” of “himself” and is “looking” to get a WOMAN “worthy” of appearing in a BEST BUY ad, like you “buy” a “decent” car or suit.
“Overall” I thinks it’s a PERFECTLY WRITTEN PIECE from an obviously sociopathic “nincompoop”.
“Must be submissive and easily bossed around and humiliated”
It seems to have happened around the same time all the titty bars disappeared and were replaced with “gentlemen’s clubs.”
My favorite part? He responds to some questions, which he wrote HIMSELF, with “good question”.
What a douche.