What a catch!

Forget it ladies, he’s MINE!

Check this out-this guy is a 53-year-old divorcee, and he’s looking for a woman. Some qualifications?
-Though most men like large breasts, I don’t. The larger the breasts, the more I’m turned off romantically. Bra size 32 B is my preferred, but any size up to 36 C, depends on your height, is good. Any larger than that will depend on the rest of you. I’ve seen women with 36 Ds that are fine. But if you are in the 40 Ds and above, forget it, a total turn off for me romantically.

-You are under thirty years old. My preferred range is between 24 and 29 for such girls have generally finished their formal education and have a good idea of what they want for themselves in life. However, I will consider younger and older. If you over 29, you will have to be pretty and slim.

-Sorry, but when it comes to turning me on, light chocolate to white skin color is needed. However, there are exceptions for darker skin, but they have to be very beautiful.

-Weight wise, for the following heights, the indicated weights, give or take 10 pounds, are generally best. However, depending on your build, an acceptable weight may be quite different. For example, I have heavy bones, in high school, I was 20 pounds over what the charts said I should be, but there was no fat on me whatsoever. I’ve known girls that were very slim but weighed more than the average girl her height and build:

  1. 5’0" - 90 lbs
  2. 5’4" - 120 lbs
  3. 5’8" - 140 lbs

-You cannot walk seven (7) miles non-stop averaging 1 mile per 20 minutes and without drinking or eating anything during the walk. (Me-is that even HEALTHY?)

-You have to go to the bathroom more than once during a four hour date where we first have dinner at a restaurant then see a movie.

-You desire to pursue your own career, even after marriage.

“Do NOT Fall in Love with Me until I say so!”

Um, control freak much?

And the sad thing is, he’s far more likely to get married (again) before I am.

Jesus, what an ass.

I like these disqualifications:

  1. You cuss/swear and/or have a potty mouth.
  2. You drink more than a glass of wine a day or drink any other liquor.
  3. Your attitude is not respectful, humble and kind.

and then this one:

As my wife, you will have no desire for a career of your own, since as my wife your career will be working side by side with me starting and running our own businesses (Yes, I’ve started and ran my own successful businesses in the past). Only my future wife and me will know the details of the businesses until they are started. All you will know now is that they will be financial in nature, they will help others financially.

This guy needs some kind of robot wife from the future, 'cause he’s not going to have luck with real women.


Where do I sign?

Ha ha ha! Wow, he won’t even let his date go to the bathroom more than once? Scary…

I could try not to laugh at this, but why? This guy’s a control freak demanding an “interview process” for a stay-at-home wife half his age, or less. He is the anti-Portia.

<<Because most that IM me claiming to be seriously interested are posers and players and are just as convincing as the very few that are real, until I have received from you the required proof pictures, I will consider you to be a poser or player. The sending of the proof pictures will confirm all that you have stated to be true and sincere.>>

Yeah, because no one could fake a proof picture.

Right, he probably dated one coke-whore in the past and now the rest of you have to pay for it!!
Damn coke-whores!

But you must be white or fair-skinned, fit into rigidly defined age, weight and body type categories, must go running with me, obey me all the time, don’t fall in love with me online unless I say so but MUST be the mail-order bride sort, and can’t pee too often.

…I wonder why they haven’t asked this guy to try Stormfront instead of the BDSM sites?

To amuse myself I will read some of the guys profiles just so I can feel better about myself. Seriously some of those profiles are delusional at best and potential rapists at worst.
I’m not the best writer but I try to be amusing and lighthearted in my profiles. And above all to be realistic on my potential dating mates.

If it’s nice weather out and flat, even terrain, sure. It’s a steady but not a fast pace (3 m.p.h.) and seven miles is a long walk (2 hours 20 minutes at that pace) but easily doable by someone is reasonable shape. The only qualification there that’s really questionable is the bit about the drinking- it would be fine in cool weather (60 F or so) but if it was warm might get uncomfortable. This is possibly the most reasonable qualification you’ve listed.

In his position, though, I would have phrased it “Likes long walks.”

Yes. Yes, it is. Leastways, I could walk seven miles non-stop at average 3mph with no drinks or eats back when I was upwards of 260lb, and doing so (or a mite less) was part of the reason why I am no longer upwards of 260lb.

No he isn’t.

That can’t be real. I mean, that’s got to be a joke, right?

You guys quit to early, he gets better…
"But in America it is illegal to have more than one wife. Well, I can easily prevail in a debate regarding that matter, but that is not my task here. Just suffice it to say, you cannot legally marry more than one wife where the state is the authority giving you permission to marry. I will not be asking the state’s permission, for I am not under the authority of any man made government."
bolding mine

scary shit

That’s not that scary. But this is great:

That’s one of the few requirements I cannot find it in my heart to quibble with, the walking one.

However, as you note, he, being male, is a divorcé rather than a divorcée.

Huh. Maybe he could hook up with that woman who ran the maryromantic.com site, they could keep all the crazy in one place that way … though she’d be age appropriate for him, so I guess she’s out too. :stuck_out_tongue:

The length of the walk and the speed he expects are not unreasonable - I think that most people in reasonable physical condition could manage that without a problem.

However, expecting someone to do that walk without drinking? That’s ridiculous - that’s guaranteed dehydration, especially if it’s a hot day.

On average, I drink a 12 oz bottle of water for every 2.5 miles when walking at that kind of clip. When I walked 60km over a weekend earlier this month (that’s 38 miles, for you 'Muricans), I think I must have downed a couple of gallons over the course of two days, and I still ended up with some signs of dehydration.

Damn these giant breasts of mine that mean I don’t qualify to be this man’s spare wife!

Seriously though, are there women out there in the world who have so little self esteem and such a large need to be controlled that this man could find someone? That thought makes me very, very sad.

Did it say anything about “poofy hair?”

I mean, Serlin has got to be out there somewhere, doesn’t he?

… and ain’t that a blast from the past?