Testicle Wrench

No, I don’t know what a testicle wrench is, either. And no, I wouldn’t want one used on my nards, whatever it is.

But for some reason the phrase “testicle wrench” popped into my head the other day and I really liked it. I’ve been looking for a way to use it but the chance hasn’t arisen. Obviously, it’s a great band name.

So I decided to Google it. I am pleased to report that “testicle wrench” does return a few valid hits.

What do YOU think a testicle wrench is? What does testicle wrench mean to you? What do you think Home Depot would charge for a testicle wrench, or would they rent one to me?

Sounds like one of your less popular sports injuries to me.

It makes me think of John Yoo’s memo and the discussion of “approved interrogation techniques.”

Sounds like the Henderson Equine Castrating Device.

From this post.

http://stonemfg.net/images/Henderson-Castration_Inst.wmv-link.wmv

Copy/paste at your own risk.
:eek:

Sort of like what a “groin pull” would be if they were allowed to say “testicle wrench” on television.

It’s the “common” term for testicular torsion

I was somewhat surprised to find that the testicle is surrounded by a “tunica vaginalis.” There must be no end to inappropriate humor that can derive from that fact.

The application depends on whether it’s a left- or right- handed testicle wrench.
Don’t even get me started on Whitworth vs. Robertson.

There is an actual tool called a “nipple wrench” and it has nothing to do with anybody’s anatomy I am happy to note.

Just hand the man a pair of dykes.

(Short for diagonal cutters…you know, for stripping wires)

There is also an implement called a Bung Tool. It’s what you use to open the bung on liquid-containing 55 gallon drums. Also called drum/plug/bung wrench/tool.

If the contents of the drum are flammable, you have to have a brass one. The older style ones were heavier than the newer models. I could never pick one up without thinking ‘blunt instrument’.

It’s a really painful injury, at least based on the verb definition of the word wrench.

It sounds like something you’d hear on COPS “So, the suspect said he snapped after arguing with his wife resulted in a vicious testical wrench. When he stopped throwing up, he beat the [beep] out of her.”

Sounds like an illegal wrestling move to me.

Well…wrenches are often used to remove nuts, after all…

(There’s probably an “unscrew” joke in there somewhere that I missed.)

Best. Band name. Ever.

It’s used to tighten a pinchcock clamp.

Here is a PSA about Testicular Torsion.

For that you’d need a Testicular Torsion Wrench.

I find a little vaseline helps with a leaking crapper flapper.