Freinds, Fellow Texans, Oklahoma deserves our love. Sure, as a group they can be decietful and evil, but on a one to one basis they’re not bad. After all didn’t the prophet Kevin Fowler say
In 100% Texan?
We must spead the good news of Texas all over. Let them know that we’re good, not hateful people. Let them know that they can be as good as we. All they have to do is move to Texas, after all there is still plently of open land down here, espically in West Texas.
That is what our Democratic Legislatures are doing in Oklahoma. They are trying to convert those poor people and show them the way. And they decided to go with no thought of their jobs, or the fact they would be outlaws. We should be applauding their missionary efforts, not belittling them.
Unless this is about politics, in which case nevermind.
Looks over at his diploma from A&MCocks an eyebrow
Unlearned am I? Enlightened by YOU need I be?
I? Born and raised in D/FW, on the very borders of the state which we do not name. I need YOU to enlighten me about the way of the Texan?
While it is true that Oklamoha is indeed evil incarnate, I think you forget your place when you pretend New York is somehow acceptable. For while Oklamoha is a wasteland of culture and sportsmanship they, by virtue of their proximity to Texas, are not entirely irredeemable. The sun, as it beams it’s benevolent smile upon Texas, spills over some of its blessings onto Oklamoha. The citizens of Oklamoha are allowed to make the yearly pilgrimage to the West End(where I had many a lunch during my time as a student in downtown Dallas and which has infused my spirit with its goodness in return for my loyalty) and Oklamoha is blessed with travelers from Texas who go across the border to play high-stakes bingo on the Chocktaw Indian reserves. Oklamoha has wide open spaces with clean air and much of the same gentle weather. Although Oklamoha has been punished for their evil by being the heart of tornado country, still there is much about them that is wholesome and good, if only becuase of thier proximity to Texas and recieving some of our blessings when our cup runneth over.
New York, on the other hand, is clearly a dark, dank, cold, dirty, and YANKEE state in which any true son of Texas would shrink from. If ever you return to the greatness that in Texas from your exile in the northern wasteland you should fully expect your re-integration to be the trial by fire that you clearly deserve for your betrayal. Tex-Mex food will scortch your expat palate. The sun will mark and burn your wintry skin in retribution for all those years you hid from it in that dank hole. Even Shiner Bock will taste bad to you until your penance is done. The joys of high school football will be lost on you until your neck is sufficiently re-exposed to the blessings of the Texas sun.
Oh the Dems may have hell to pay for hiding out in Oklamoha, but you, my friend, have abrogated much of your natural born right to mock them by your own traitorous actions.
Enjoy,
Steven
On Preview: I see both you and minty are going to need some attitude adjustments with regards to the great institution that is Texas A&M. minty, Moxmaiden and I are planning to take advantage of sleepover at Grandma’s next weekend to go catch the Matrix Reloaded Saturday. Think you’re up for a little edumacation? The Matrix Reloaded and a schooling about the greatness of A&M tradition. What could be better? I’ll probably start a planning thread in MPSIMS as soon as I get preliminary approval from the Grandma in question as to if she’s willing to keep the baby as well(she’s done so in the past).
Like a flaw intentionally introduced in a sculpture to remind the artist that perfection belongs only to God, so too Texas has Aggies so that we do not confuse our fair land with Heaven.
But yeah, I could probably watch the new Matrix flick sometime.
See, I thought the flaw which kept Texans humble was the lawyers. Those tough, smart, tank-driving fellows. I tell you, glancing at any metroplex yellow pages and seeing the faces of half a dozen lawyers is enough to remind me that Texas isn’t heaven.
They wanted to avoid the absurd scheme of the Republicans, but at the same time not look like they were enjoying themselves instead of working. Hence the trip to Oklahoma. I mean even the frothingest at the mouth right-wing conspiracy-buff John Bircher couldn’t claim with a straight-face that they were not suffering for their beliefs.
BTW, what is going on? This is like a Folger’s Crystals Commercial where they have switched my **Dewey Cheatem Undhow ** with december and are waiting to see if I can tell the difference.
Oh, I should add. We’d probably be talking about the UA Galaxy 10 for the venue. It is very close to Grandma’s place(at the corner of Garland road and Northwest Highway) and we wouldn’t have to leave the baby with her for too long if we went somewhere close. Plus they have a couple of giant screens and they’re a pretty nice auditorium. Tons of showtimes to pick from too. I’ll try to find out which ones are on the giant screens.
Didn’t an Aggie invent a parachute that opened on contact?
Didn’t an Aggie attempt to order dinner while speaking French without realizing he was in a hardware store?
Don’t members of the Corps, during football games, squeeze their left testicles to show solidarity with the team? I do mean squeeze and tightly at that.
Aggies may serve as bad examples but never as role models.
Mtgman: Need I remind you that Nolan Ryan spent ten years pitching for the New York Mets and (even worse) the California Angels, and yet was welcomed back to Texas with loving arms as though he had never left? Texans understand the need for travel abroad, even into Yankeeland, for purposes of starting a career – as long as it isn’t into Oklahoma.
I’d love to see the Matrix with you, but you’ve gotta pick up the plane fare. Or the Shiner. Whatever.
I have not slanted or misstated the facts in any way, shape or form. Fact: Many Texas Democrats are holed up in Oklahoma. Fact: That they chose Oklahoma is an abomination before all that is good and holy. Where is the distortion?
Like many Southern states, Texas was completely dominated by the Democrats for a century after the Civil War. Democrats came to take it for granted that Texas, like most Southern states, would always be in their hip pockets.
Like it or not, things have changed. Texas is overwhelmingly Republican now. This is not a brand new development, either. It’s been coming for a long time. While the Democrats controlled the Texas legislature, they did everything they could to forestall that, through gerrymandering, and by quarantining vast numbers of Republican voters in a relatively small number of districts.
Was that was dirty pool or just smart power politics? That, of course, depends on your point of view.
Personally, I can’t really blame the old Democrats for using their power and majority status to try to keep the Republicans down. But they HAD to have known that couldn’t last forever. The Dems were utterly wiped out in the last election, and the tables are now turned. The Republicans now have the power to do exactly what the Democrats have been doing for years!
So, what can the Democrats do? Nothing, really. They CAN’T argue that what the Republicans are doing is illegal or immoral, because the GOP is just attempting to do EXACTLY what kept the Dems in power for so long. And they CAN’T win any votes o the legislature floor. All they can do is run and hide.
Now, running and hiding may work for a little while, but the Democrats aren’t stupid, and they have to KNOW that, in the long run, their position is utterly untenable. They’re a minority in Texas, and they’re going to have to get used to that. The state’s voting districts WILL eventually be re-drawn to the Republicans’ advantage. And it should be.
The only question is, will the Democrats acknowledge that they’re the minority, and enter some real negotiations? Or will they continue to act like little kids (“Neener neener, you can’t find us?”).
As for the Republicans, they’ll have to negotiate, too. Texas has some REAL problems that have to be addressed. Nonsense like this is taking up way too much time, time that should be spent on IMPORTANT issues.
Troopers arrested state Representative Helen Giddings (D-DeSoto) in Austin as she left her apartment.
Apparently they need five more to make quorum, and two more Dems (neither of which are among the Oklahoma refugees) are expected by the end of the day.
They should have the crew from Kreuz Market in Lockhart set up a temporary pit on the Texas side of the Red River – surely the aroma alone will bring at least three Dems back over the border in no time.
Otto, astorian: quit making a serious discussion out of this! This is Texas politics. No one takes it seriously. Not even Texas politicians.
Hey Dewey, check out the brief website of Goins, Underkofler, Crawford, and Langdon and see if their business is the kind of law you are into. I’m not sure if they’re hiring, but my landlord is one of thier attorneys(a partner) and I know they work him pretty ragged. My sister works there too(as a gofer) and they run her ragged too. Maybe they’ve got enough business to afford a new associate. If they’re the kind of law firm you’d fit into then shoot me a resume and I’ll send it on to my landlord and put in a word for you(presuming we can come to some sort of agreement about the value of A&M of course ;)).
Damn right! You call this service? Do you have any idea how much I pay a year in country club dues? Not that I need worry about money, but it is the principle of the thing. If I have to bother to read my own diploma I may as well join the ranks of the plebians or the latest refugees from Wisconsin.
All this jocularity has reminded me of my very favorite Aggie joke.
Q: What do you call an Aggie five years after he graduates?
A: Boss. wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes
