Neither of these people are me, but they are both friends. One always calls, never leaves a text message; the other always texts, never calls. This has caused some friction as the texter will text asking for some information, caller will call back ,texter will not answer so caller leaves voicemail message asking texter to call him back, texter will text his reply, caller will call back and leave another voicemail etc.
Who is the jerk?
0 voters
Depends on the reasons. If Caller has an old phone that isn’t optimized for texting, or is an old person who isn’t comfortable with it, and Texter knows this, Texter is a jerk. If Texter is hard of hearing and doesn’t like to talk on the phone, and Caller knows this, Caller is a jerk. If one or both of the above situations applies and the other person doesn’t know about it, neither may be jerks. If they are just being stubborn, they’re both being jerks.
Both and neither. I prefer text communication due in large part to hearing loss. Everyone I communicate with knows I prefer texting, so if someone calls and leaves a “call me back” voicemail, my reply is via text. Is the call person visually imapired?
I voted ‘neither’, no one is obligated to use a particular communication channel in general. What they’re doing seems to get the information across to each other, even if it is clunky, and if they don’t like the method they could just talk with someone else.
All relationships are negotiable. If one has a good reason or a need to prefer a particular mode, the two should discuss and arrive at a working approach.
My wife and I text all the time…she’s at work, I’m at work, sure. But I really like having a “trail.” If she sent me an address or a phone number or a list of things to pick up at the store I don’t have to write them on a piece of paper. And sometimes we’ll wonder, “When did we get the new dishwasher?” and I can refer back to a message she sent that the installer was on the way.
If one of us does call it’s because (s)he needs info right now. So it isn’t like the rules are stamped in granite and unchangeable. There should still be some give and take.
The OP sounds like maybe it’s a case of stubbornness. Is the other person important or not?
Neither, or maybe both. Both of them are certainly annoying, neither of them is worth worrying about.
If the texter wants information from the caller, the onus is on the texter to call the caller. It’s not even about who is being the asshole. It’s about using the most effective way to get info from a person who communicates in a certain type of way and not another.
I say this as someone who prefers to text.
This.
If this mess has been going on for a while, I’d be tempted to write a letter. But possibly neither of them will read either their snail mail or their email.
The proliferation of ways to communicate with people has resulted in making it harder to communicate, because there are too many people who will only use one method but they’re not using the same one.
Both. I mean both knows the preference of the other. Try to be accommodating to one person - now if there is an actual good reason why one doesn’t call or doesn’t text that’s another story. But if not, just act like a decent person towards your friend.
I think that if two adults keep failing at communicating with one another and don’t change their methodologies, then they’re both likely just plain stupid.
It seems to me that the caller is instigating a game of “telephone tag”, so I’d say he’s slightly more jerky. As noted, if there’s a genuine reason for his refusal to text, then it could change my verdict.
They should both leave information in whichever medium works for each. Not doing so seems stupid.
This just sounds like a really vast difference in communication styles. Personally I loathe speaking to people on the phone when what I need can be accomplished via text. It pisses me off to no end (unreasonably so, admittedly) when people call me in response to texts. Likewise, I’m sure the caller feels the same way. Regardless, they should both make some sort of attempt to respect the other’s communication style.
What is standing in the way of the texter ending his text with a request to ‘respond via text only, please!’. Or, the phoner to end his voice message with, ‘please call, don’t text, your response, thanks!’?
I can’t see anything stopping two adults from communicating openly in this fashion.
Therefore they are both equally at fault for this mess and equally capable of fixing it!
I’m giving ‘caller’ a quarter of an extra jerk mark for leaving a voicemail that says ‘call me back’ rather than ‘the answer to your question is XYZ, call me if you’ve got any more questions’
But really, it’s both.
This is largely one of the reasons that text has taken over phone calls. There’s also just the mild chore of me having to login to my voicemail then jot down whatever info you gave, rather than just open up my texts and have it there already. If I bother logging in and the whole message is “call me back”, I get annoyed. We all have caller id, dude. If I want to call you back, I will.
Why doesn’t the caller just answer the question on the voicemail and end the cycle of violence?
Great idea: Why not let people do what they want?
(There, I just saved a few marriages, and maybe prevented a war or two)
Some people only text, some only do voice calls. So if someone texts, text them back; and if someone calls and asks you to call them back, call them.
Who’s the asshole? Well, right in the OP it says “the texter will text asking for some information, caller will call back ,texter will not answer so caller leaves voicemail message…” THAT’s rude.
If someone is a texter, assume there’s a very good reason for it. Like me: I am almost never in a setting where I can answer my phone without being a jerk (classroom, coffeeshop, bar). I could answer your question in ten seconds via text, but now I have to find a time when I can leave class and start a half day of phone tag and then when I do get hold of the caller, a bunch of chitchat and Billy might have a cold and what did you do this weekend until I can finally tell you “Kalamazoo”.