THÅGGEN: The Made-Up IKEA Product Thread

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Colophon

SHITSTRÖM

Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging).

£24.20

I would also like one of these (I kind of do this already - I have a storage box that catches all the extra crap after I’ve finished cleaning up).

@cmyk

SCHRÖDINGGŪR

Litter box for your cat or kitten. Box is completely enshrouded on every side with a clever two-way door allowing your companion access either way. You never have to see whether or not your pussy has done the deed, then just tip the box into the trash to clean and refill after an arbitrary amount of time. Makes for a wonderful burial casket when your cat moves on.

Available in Cyanide and Uranium. Assembly required, Allen wrench included; or not.

$235.38

I would also like one of these.

I like the price of the unit in the OP - it seems more in keeping with the :eek: That’s Cheap! pricing at Ikea.

[Filbert]

While you’re thinking, why not test your knowledge of current Ikea products (and Death Metal music) and have a quick game of Ikea or Death?

[Steken]

@Filbert

While you’re thinking, why not test your knowledge of current Ikea products (and Death Metal music) and have a quick game of Ikea or Death?

Did it. Won 'em all.

[Ethilrist]

@Little Nemo

FÜKKEN

Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included.

$150

@Intergalactic Gladiator

Not available in Corduroy?

Early tests showed an unfortunate tendency to burst into flame due to friction. Even after generous application of fire retardants, there was still the noise issue.

[Sunspace]

@Little_Nemo

FÜKKEN

Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included.

But I thought all Ikea products came with Allen wenches!

[njtt]

To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like Billy, Albert, Omar, Stopp (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and Jules (a chair).

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

YNIGVI

Helpful device that affects the minds of all your neighbors while they sleep, inculcating a desire to create an Enlightened Nordic Socialist Society.
Runs on 240 volt current only. Will not work in the US.

[Pork_Rind]

@njtt

To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like Billy, Albert, Omar, Stopp (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and Jules (a chair).

It helps that chairs and desks in the Ikea system always get men’s names.

[Lumpy]

**Barnställ **

Combination stroller, car seat and play set. Pentagonal hydrant wrench required.

[Happy_Lendervedder]

@njtt

To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like Billy, Albert, Omar, Stopp (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and Jules (a chair).

Or the $23 dining room set right next to the $94 fruit bowl.

[kambuckta]

@Colophon

SHITSTRÖM

Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging).

£24.20

This is a seriously awesome idea! Instead of hanging it out a window, you could have a ceiling-mounted hook with a pulley system to bung it up and out of sight! So sort of like throwing a net from a ship, you lower the pouch, chuck all your junk, shoes, Lego and Thomas bits and hoist it up!

Damn, you should patent this one.

[kenobi_65]

DÖRK

The ultimate gaming table, for players of Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. Seats six, with special trays at each seating location for dice and character sheets, as well as bottle holders for your Mountain Dew. The surface of the table is embossed with a 1" square grid, and the surface can be written on with wet-erase or dry-erase markers. Available in Gygax White.

$847.52

[cmyk]

@njtt

To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like Billy, Albert, Omar, Stopp (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and Jules (a chair).

ALAN

This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don’t completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk.

27¢ — Sold Out.

[Little_Nemo]

@Sunspace

But I thought all Ikea products came with Allen wenches!

You can have a wench named Allen if you want. Like we said, we don’t judge.

[njtt]

@Pork_Rind

It helps that chairs and desks in the Ikea system always get men’s names.

Do they? Are there guys in Sweden called NOLMYRA or LOCKSTA or POÄNG, then?

Billy, Albert and Omar are all shelves, but by no means do all shelves have regular male names like this (recognizable to me a such, anyway).

[quote="cmyk, post:33, topic:673835"]

**ALAN**

This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don't completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk.

**27¢** — Sold Out.
[/QUOTE]


Oh come on, that makes *far* too much sense, even with the alternate spelling!
The "Sold out" is a nice touch, though! :)

[Cat_Whisperer]

@kenobi_65

DÖRK

The ultimate gaming table, for players of Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. Seats six, with special trays at each seating location for dice and character sheets, as well as bottle holders for your Mountain Dew. The surface of the table is embossed with a 1" square grid, and the surface can be written on with wet-erase or dry-erase markers. Available in Gygax White.

$847.52

You guys still aren’t getting it - that should be $84.75! Or maybe even $8.47. (But the table sounds sweeeeeeet! And the name is perfect!)

@cmyk

ALAN

This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don’t completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk.

27¢ — Sold Out.

Also a very good idea.

[Spoons]

@Sunspace

Lesser-known Ikea products.

Thank you! I knew we had had such a thread years ago, but I just couldn’t find it. Good job on searching and finding!