Thai Police Arrest Rapist

… of women, cows and banana trees. Story here.

I do like his quote: “Anyone who has had sex with a cow knows there is nothing odd about it at all.” But … banana trees???

As for the part at the end about the penalty for rape in Thailand being only four years, I’ve never really known what the penalty is, but it would not surprise me if that’s true. Rape is still blamed largely on the victim, especially outside of Bangkok. Also especially upcountry, the family of a victim will often simply get ahold of the perp if possible and kill him; the police will usually look the other way in that case. Might be some paperwork to fill out.

They look the other way? Really? Because if some guy’s getting beaten to death by a family of banana trees, the natural reaction is to want to watch.

Myself, I might watch the actual rape of the banana tree. Not that I’d want to, but it would be sort of like a bad traffic accident that you can’t tear your eyes away from.

He had a hideaway? Damn, I wants me one of those!

I’ve heard of a banana being used as a sex toy, but the tree?

Sort of like the joke about the difference between using a feather and a whole chicken.

What are you trying to rape?

I know I’ll regret asking this, but how would one rape a banana tree?

How exactly does one rape a banana tree? Or any tree for that matter. Do I want to know?

What I want to know is, is he being charged with raping a banana tree? And what happened in the past to necessitate passing a law about it?

How can they tell the banana tree didn’t consent?

The bananas were split? I dunno… I got nothin’

The bananas were starting to smell funny.

A ladle.

Ok, call me stoopid if you must, but what about a feather and the whole chicken?

And I too would like to know exactly how they prove the rape of banana trees, or cows for that matter. Maybe the cow’s just a big tease and just wanted to get him thrown in jail for past wrongs against it or something? Maybe this is just a huge bovine conspiracy against this guy. To some people, Moooo sounds like Nooooo, but maybe he heard Yessssss… nevermind, I got nothin’, just move along.

ETA: nevermind, just figured out the feather and chicken thing, just had to think about it for a minute. It’s a measurement of kinkyness right???

Using a feather is kinky, using the whole chicken is perverted.

Cmon, the banana tree was asking for it. You all saw how it was dressed.

This post has been BANANAD by the BANANARAPIST!.

Hm, this may spawn a new internet meme:

His “wife”? A banana tree.

At least that’s better than them killing the rape victim, like I’ve read about happening in some African countries.

I don’t understand how a society deems rape to be trivial enough to warrant a short prison sentence but major enough to look the other way for murder in retribution?