Thank you. Even if you're a Numpty.

You have all been a great part of my life, knowingly or not, for the past while now. Since I began posting two months ago, I have come to know some of you, for better or worse, but usually for the better. You have taught me and I hope in return I have been able to help some of you.

So, thank you, and thank Cecil and the SDSAB for their insights. Thanks to the various Dopers for making me laugh, and sharing in my miseries, and not laughing when I ask stupid questions.

Thank you for the ego boosts, keeping me entertained both here and in the chat, and thank you for not hiding in the bushes outside of my house.

Now, on the occasion of my 1000th post, I would like to provide you with a unique opportunity. Ask me anything.
Ask me about Canada. Ask me about my life. Ask me about staple removers. Squirrels. Insurance. Toenails. I’ll answer you, and I won’t even call you names. Well, maybe Numpty, but that is to be expected.

Any takers?

1000 posts in two months? God woman, give your computer a rest. I’ve been here for two years and am just approaching 400.

My question:

After listening to several BareNaked Ladies CDs, I’ve come to the conclusion that people living in Canadia say the word “sorry” in a way that is strange and foreign to those of us in the lower 48. Is it just BNL or are all Canadians so afflicted?

So what sort of life insurance should I have if I accidently injure a squirrel while clipping its toenail with a Candian-made staple remover.

And seriously, how cute are the Canadian guys? And can you send me a couple of 'em (I’ll cover the freight charge, if it’s under US$100).

And what the hell is a Numpty?

Spanking, do you prefer giving or receiving? :wink:

Why are Canadians so verbose?

Yeah, pcubed, like 1k in 2 months? And on top of that your nightly chat and the webcam appearances you are running? Like take a vacation! Even I unplug after a few hours! :smiley:

Now for the question:

Why the hell do you say it “leFtennant” if there’s no “F” in “lieutenant”?

And how did you get an Air Force t-shirt?

I admire your brave candor. How does one unerringly locate the Grafenberg spot?

pcubed - Canadians use the words “I’m sorry” a lot. It’s as ingrained into us as the use of the word ‘fuhgeddaboudit’ would be in certain circles. Plus, BNL are really cool, and we all want to be like them.

screech - Canadian guys are hot. Twenny bucks and I’ll send you my brother.
A Numpty is just that. A Numpty. It’s my all-purpose word.

Venus - giving. Call me M’Lady :wink:

Dr. Schadenfreude - because we can be.

Tripler - I say 'lefffftenant because I know it pisses you off. However, some numpty American still sent me a USAF t-shirt. :smiley:

If I go to Canada for summer vacation next year, can I visit you and we can get drunk and I can make passes at hot Canadian guys until Gunslinger gets really jealous and yells at me and then I feel guilty for the rest of the trip but hell I’ll be legally drunk so I might not even notice?

Sure, racinchikki. But you know, you’re legal here NOW. It’s 18, in my province.

Hey Ginger -

I’ll be heading up to Sauble Beach, Ontario on Lake Huron tomorrow.

The house has a hot tob.

You busy? :smiley:

You are welcome.

Are ya’ll headed to Miami, or am I gonna hafta git my hiney up ta yer neighborhood?

Paul - No. Send the jet. I’ll expect the limo to pick me up directly.

UncleBill - No. You have a cat. You have to come here. Bring Pineapple!

As a newbie, is it true that if you make 1000 posts in 2 months you recieve the Most Overworked Mouse Award?


OK, a real question (sorry for my earlier boorish abstract query:D):
How can you keep your Loonies and quarters straight? I am constantly leaving 4 or 8 dollars tips per single drink when at Canadian bars.

The Leer is on the way, the car will be around shortly…I’ll leave it to your discretion which fine Canadian lager we’ll sample upon your arrival. Just tell the driver before you get to the airport so that we may have it delivered in time.

BTW - what’s the best place to exchange US$ for CAD$ in a small Ontario town on a Saturday?

From one redhead to another…
What is it with men? Honestly, you give and you give and they end up disappointing you…

[sub]and please don’t say I told you so. I’ve heard enough of that lately.[/sub]

So, tell me… When will you be up in my neck of the woods? I would love to enjoy some beverages with you one of these days.


Another question. Do you just get sick of tourists? I mean I don’t get a fraction of the amount you must have going through your area (I just get the Alaska bound Americans) and I still get driven nuts. Do you just dread the tourist season or what?

OK, another one. Single and looking or just plain single and happy that way? Just curious… I’m married anyway…

Waverly - Ask Dr. Grafenberg for succinct instructions. As for our money - Loonies are gold. Quarters are Silver. I guess you just have to not be colourblind.

Falafel Waffle - Yes. I will be tied up with the ceremonies later today. Perhaps you will be receiving said award in October. Good luck!

Paul - The ‘Leer’? I think it’s ‘Lear’ :wink:
Paging Dr. Freud… As for the exchange, they’ll probably take US dollars anywhere in town. We’re funny that way. Just don’t expect fair exchange, I saw a sign yesterday that said the exchange rate is 40%.

hardygrrl - They just suck. Been there, done that. Hugs, or non-physical equivalent to you.

bernse - You were in MY neck of the woods two weeks ago, I was in Edmonton for Dopefest the week before that. Drinks could have been had on either occasion. Numpty.
Tourists don’t bother me at all, although I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said:
“If it’s called tourist season, then why can’t we hunt them?”
I’m sinle and happy that way, but also kinda looking. Send me a rig pig for a test drive. :wink:

Fair or not…for the most part, Canada is a beautiful country, full of wonderful, friendly people.

Glad to have you here on the boards! Congrats on 1000, you over-achiever, you!

BTW - I’ll be there about twenty minutes before I unconciously slip into my canuck accent, eh…and it’ll be aboot foor days befoor i get back to sounding “normal”.