Thank you for denting my car door, you . . .


Just went to the post office, pulled into a parking space and my phone rang. It was Mr. Golf calling from North Carolina to let me know he’d be flying in . . . oh well, that’s irrelevant. As I’m talking on the phone I hear “BAM” and look over and there is this 300+ lb. woman trying to get out of her car and she can’t squeeze herself out of her vehicle without slamming her car door into mine.

I hang up the phone, and get out and she starts yelling at ME! “I am parked well within my parking space,” I tell her. “Yeah, but you didn’t leave me any room to get out of my car” she says.

(The following IS NOT a rant against “larger” people; please do not flame me)

WTF, I was here first; she pulled in after me! I DIDN’T LEAVE HER ENOUGH ROOM? She didn’t get that fat overnight!! She should know how much room it takes her to get her fat ass out of the car. Its not like the parking lot was full; there were three empty spaces right behind us!

Although the above thought was running through my head as I stood there looking at the dent and she waddled off to get her mail, I didn’t have the nerve to say it to her face. I just can’t be mean and hurt someone’s feelings.

Phew. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

If you did it my way, she would have waddled back to her car and found her door kicked in.


I am sorry it won’t help much now, but from my experience (I used to work in a body shop) the best response is a pleasant smile while you call your insurance company - on the cell phone you just used. Explain to them what happened and ask for direction from them (i.e. will they want a police report, etc.?) If you are a bit intimidated, call the police first (make sure you use the routine number, not 911) and tell them you just had a very minor accident and may need to fill out a report. Sometimes with very minor incidents they will take a verbal statement and not make you wait there. (This is why I said you might want to call the insurance company first). Now, pretending for the moment that it was not pouring cats and dogs and you were not pressed to be anywhere, imagine the look on her face when she gets a phone call from her insurance company. Imaging her reaction when she returns and finds a policeman taking your statement. Imagine her face if she turns around to hear you make the phone call. Just hold on to your own pleasant smile!
Don’t be afraid of being mean or petty - these things can easily run a few hundred dollars. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s (er, I’m sorry. This is the pit. Make that some bitch’s) inconsiderateness. Good day!

I used to work for a grocery store located in a mall. My car at the time was a 1970 Beetle, my pride and joy.

I came out of work one day and someone had pulled their big assed, gas guzzling Lincoln next to my car on the drivers side. Honest to god there was an inch between my car and this boat. I had to get in through the passenger side.

A couple of days later I am leaving work and the big assed Lincoln is back next to my car and again I have to get in through the driver’s side door.

I left a nasty note on the windshield saying “Who the fuck taught you how to park? Park this close again and I will trash your fucking car”.

I was in the lunch room the next day when one of the supervisors came in ranting about this nasty note that was left on her car the day before. Not only was she unable to park, she was unable to recall who she had been parked next to.

A few days later I was working a late shift and when I pulled up there was the Lincoln. Guess who had to get in through her drivers side door that evening? If she had left a scratch on my car it wouldn’t have mattered to me as the car was due for some new paint anyways. I can’t believe she even got out of the stall.

Her parking improved after that.

Fucking brainless, inconsiderate, selfish, shit-for-brains morons! I fucking hate that.

I had just bought a new car. Never mind that I’m anal about my cars in the first place, but when I park I make triple sure that I am as far away from other cars as possible. In this case I parked at the end of the lot (in front of the restaurant where I was picking up lunch). I parked so far over to the left that my tires were practically on the curb in order to give the person who might park on my right enough room to open their door and not ding me. You could have driven a Ford Executioner into the spot next to me and open the door without dinging my car.

I ordered my food and stood outside the door in front of my car admiring my purchase. In drives a black MB C-class. I see right away that she is parking far closer to me than necessary. I also see that she is a middle aged woman wearing a fur coat (it’s not that cold lady!) and dark glasses far too big for her face. She sits in the car riffling through her purse. I am getting that uneasy feeling in my gut. I look at her hoping to catch her eye and warn her about opening her door. I know that she saw me standing there when she pulled in but she is not lifting her eyes out of her purse. Suddenly she just yanks her door handle and swings open her car door. Bang! (FUCK! I think to myself - I fucking knew it!) Fortunately I immediately notice that it’s only the body side moulding that come in contact and no real damage is caused. I’m a bit relieved but still pissed at her carelessness. As she is locking the car I say, “Madam, in the future please be more considerate of other people’s cars!” Now she knows she’s fucked up. She knows what I’m talking about and she knows she’s in the wrong. She does not even look up at me but continues to stare at the ground as she shuffles past me. Then I hear, “Well, you shouldn’t park there if you don’t want to get your car scratched.” I am totally incensed. Furious. How fucking dare she! So I blurt out, “Look, you inconsiderate harpie, if you’d put out for your husband maybe he’d buy you a real mercedes, just like the one he bought his girlfriend and you would not have to drive around in that piece of crap base model!” She turned to say something (uncomplementary I’m sure) but I simply turned around and went inside the restaurant to check on my order. I wasn’t real proud of losing my cool the way I did but I certainly hope that girlfriend comment rattled around in her prozac muddled brain for the rest of her day. Bitch!

mental note…do not fuck with quicksilver

on the other side of the board, maybe, I’m anal about my car…I park far away, respect others cars, but…

the other day I saw this assholes car, no handicapped tag, triple parked across three handicapped spots. I lost my shit, called the towing company and had the car towed. This was at a mall.

Speaking from the other side…

YEESH, she was inconsiderate! I’m not exactly svelte. In fact, I’m rather large. So getting out of a car is sometimes a pain in the ass. But I make SURE I leave enough room whereever I park! If that means going further away, fine! But to slam a door into another car like that is rude.

Yeah, my initial instinct sides with Homer. Escalation and instant gratification rules.
The thing about calling the insurance company and/or the cops, I like that. It takes the self-control to let the initial moment pass, though, and when it comes to my car, that’s somewhat unlikely.

Is it really that hard for people to watch their fucking doors? I can’t hardly get in or out of my car without making sure I’m not coming close to someone elses vehicle. It’s called consideration. It’s called respect for other peoples shit. It’s called situational awareness.

I’ve never caught anyone bumping my car (an immaculate, save two dings, Avenger), but if I do, I’ll try to remember to call the cops if I have the time, otherwise, their door is fucked.

Not to perform a hijack or anything…

My car is a 1990 Cavalier Z24. No, it’s not the best car in the world, but it’s what I could afford, and what I wanted, and what I have, so I’m rather proud of it. I try to keep it somewhat clean (although I live on a dirt road so it’s hard), I wax it, I detail it when I have time…

When I bought the car, I looked it over real close to make sure that it didn’t have any rust, or bad paint, or dents or dings that I couldn’t take care of myself, or cheaply. It’s got about 4 small, almost unnoticable hail dents in the roof, a larger rock dent right above the windshield, a small dent in the driver’s side fender, and that’s about it. Nothing big, nothing noticable, no paint chips, and it looks damned good for a 10 year old car. I’m going to have them all fixed and the paint cleaned up (on the front spoiler, a small area on the bumper, minor rock chips on the fiberglass hood) but I can’t afford it yet.

But I come out to it last month, and someone’s raked a shopping cart down the whole side, hard enough to crease the metal the whole way, and scratch off the paint on most of the length. And since I don’t know who did it, and my deduct is $500 for accidental damage and vandalism, insurance won’t cover.

Kick their fucking door in.


There’s a related discussion about people who use up two parking spaces taking place in… well, for those of you who are too good to visit MPSIMS let’s just say “in another forum.”

I’m linking it to promote the use of my invented term, Diago-nerd, to describe these scrofulous individuals. You’ll also find some suggestions for vehicular revenge that are equally appropriate to door-dingers. I recommend the chocolate-milk trick.

Of course, I’ve never seen a metro train New-York-parked.

10! 10! Even a 10 from the Russian judge!

I always park as far away as possible. At malls, supermarkets, and the like, I can usually manage a comfortable margin, since most people hate to walk at all and will circle the parking lot ten times rather than walk a hundred extra feet. At my apartment building, however, the lot is small, and unlined to boot. So just about everyone parks too far apart, usually half a car-width, or about three feet, when half that would suffice, leaving one enough clearance to open the door wide enough to get in and out of the car without difficulty, it seems to me. That’s when the lot is mostly clear. When it’s crowded…well, I’ve got more bumps on my doors than I care to think about. Nothing major, just here a ding, there a ding. All I can say it beats the last place I lived, where there was no parking lot and I had to parallel park on the street. The paint has been scraped off the corners of both my bumpers by careless people who couldn’t be bothered to pay attention.

Some people really suck, you know it?

One of the joys of driving around a 1983 Subaru is that you really don’t care about little dings anymore.
So when this Lincoln Behemoth (or whatever) parked in a compact spot next to me, a good foot into my space so I too had to get in via the passenger side, I took a moment while I was backing up to swing my (driver’s) door hard into the other car a couple of times.
Juvenile. Puerile. I’m a jerk. And I revelled in every moment.

Yeah, I’ve often thought back to the heady days of my first car, a 1978 Chevy Suburban. Sea-Mist green with a wooden bumper since my sister managed to get the original ripped off. I often wish I had that car again just so I could blast the idiots that pull out right in front of me on the road, rather than locking up my tires or swerving dramatically, yet stylishly. :wink:

Door dings were never a problem in the old car, I think others were more cautious around it because they thought it might do more damage to their door!

I drive a '94 Geo Tracker–not the best car, kind of a toy Jeep (and big SUV haters, this is the small convertible kind)–but I’m a poor grad student and I love my car. I wash and wax and power-buff it every week or two, and if the weather’s nice then the top has been off and I have to detail the interior because of the dust. It’s short and it’s small and it takes up about 3/4 of a parking space.

Now listen, fucker (not directed to anyone who’s posted in this thread so far), I can park in the middle of a space, and if you could do the same thing with your land yacht, “I’m retired so I bought a Continental, Delta 88, (rich so I bought a Hummer [Honestly had to park next to one of those behemoths last week])” fat-assed, old-people “I drive a big car so I’m safe since I have no reaction time”, car, you wouldn’t end up with my little business card under your windshield wiper.

This card, which you can print off easily with some heavy paper, says:

“I hope you don’t fuck like you park. You’d never get the pecker in.”
But that’s just my opinion…I could be wrong.

I was sitting in my Jeep one day when this jerk in
a Honda Prelude pulls up next to me. He slings his
door open and BAM!!! right into my rocker guards
which is a 2x2 inch metal tube to protect my rocker
panels from rocks. Leaves a nice 1/4 or 3/8 inch
dimple right in the edge of his door. He looks at
me like its my fault and I just replied, “you parked
it asshole”, and drove off. The Jeep is for sale if
anyone is interested. See the thread called
“Jeepin’ Dopers”

I drive a Saturn, so I don’t worry about getting dinged (gotta love those plastic doors), but they’ll pick up streaks of paint when some inconsiderate bastard whacks his door into me. Thanks, whoever you are - you monkey spanking, red car driving, can’t bother to look, deceased-goat felching, prick! …grumble, grumble…

My brother’s 5 month old BMW just got fucking dinged last night by some fucking Lexus driver. Then they sat their fat ass in the drivers seat and drug the corner of the door down the fucking paint!



Geez, GolfWidow, not your pretty white car! That sux. :frowning: My truck wouldn’t be a truck if it didn’t have a few dings and scrapes, now, would it? :smiley: