Thank You for not talking about your diet.

The BBQ Pit
1

“Please be considerate of others. Please don’t obsess about your weight in this area”.

Of course the above is pure sarcasm because I don’t think anybody is that considerate. At least none of my wonderful health concious friends.

“Oh My Gawd, this piece of gum has .000005 calories in it, I better not eat it otherwise I can’t have dinner!” Give me a fucking break already! Dammit, not everybody gives a flying fuck that you’ve lost half your body weight (you’re better half I might add) and you can now fit into a size -0. I don’t appriciated being force fed your daily diet and hearing you comment about how ugly you were at 170lbs. Gheez I must be a fucking dog considering I’m still 30lbs over you at your 170.

Well fuck you and fuck your diet. You can go off and be proud of yourself all you want and starve yourself all you want if that makes you happy but if you keep rubbing it in my face I’m gonna take bag of cookies and shove it down your throat and hope you die from a calorie overload. I’m trying to be happy with the way I am now, and you’re making it damn hard preaching about how nice it is to be thin! I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me for who I am and thinks I am beautiful, and you did too at one time (who loved you at 170) until of course you cheated on him, its just a shame I can let your opinion leave more of an impression on me than his.

Get a life and learn to be more considerate of the fat chicks ok?

breathes deeply My first offical post and its a rant. How lovely.:slight_smile: waves to the board Hi all.

2

Granted, there’s no need to go on and on about it, but maybe they’re just proud of themselves? It’s hard work to lose weight and when someone does finally get some decent results it can be difficult for them not to demand acknowledgement. It’s not necessarily a slight against anyone else, but rather an attempt to have their hard work recognised no matter how annoying that is to other people.

It’s just a little blinkeredness and I doubt very much that your friends are trying to be inconsiderate. I can understand why it’s annoying but there’s no need to take it personally.

3

Eh, I wouldn’t take it so personally except they know it bothers me.

4

Sounds like people who also brag about getting to fly first class by using frequent flyer miles. One time hearing about this is OK. But it gets old quickly. It seems insensitive for people to discuss their diet to a friend who is not interested.

5

A fine effort for your first Pit Rant.

In the spirit of friendship, offer her an Oreo and tell it it’s a new no-fat recipe.

6

What you should do is in a few days stop and look at her and say,

“Thats too bad you stopped your diet and started putting wieght on, you were just starting to look good.”

7

But fizzlestothetop, if I don’t lose half my body weight, make myself unhappy daily by denying myself foods I like to eat, make myself feel guilty for breaking down and drinking another pop, force myself into clothes that may or may not have been designed for human beings, and feel the burning need to assault everyone within earshot about the above, no one will like me!

A fine young ranter we have here. :slight_smile:

8

CRorex that’s a good idea, unfortunatly I’m not that vindictive. Although I should be considering she considers herself at the level with a higher power, ya know with all this will power not to eat a cookie and all. :rolleyes:

Thanks to everyone else for the warm welcome.:slight_smile:

9

Ahhh, fuck her. Life is way too short. I strongly suggest having an Oreo, and next time she starts her shit do one of two things:

Open up an Oreo in front of her, lick out all the filling, and eat it like it’s the best thing you’ve ever had (including sex)

Stick your fingers in your ears and say “la,la,la,LA,LA!!! I’M NOT LISTENING!!!”

It is beyond me why people must go around acting like such morons.

Welcome, by the way! :slight_smile:

Zette

10

Mmmm, I’m of two minds about the OP. I’m a guy and so I have no insight into women’s psychological hangups about food and body image, but I can’t help hearing a note of jealousy in the OP. Someone gets fits, looks better and feels better, and you shot her down for it? Not cool.
Comments like this

Sound like petty jealousy. It seems like the OP resents her “friend” for taking the effort to improve her health.

On the other hand, if the subject of the OP is just a yammering twit who won’t shut up about her food fixations, then I can see eating a whole bag of Oreos in front of her.

11

This juxtaposition struck me as humorous.

This whole thing is (In My Male Opinion) indicative of the strange sense of fiction that I see among many of my female friends. There are several possibilities here:

  1. Your pal is just nattering without any malicious intent and you are applying said intent in your mind.

  2. Your pal is attempting to gently goad you into something that she feels would be good for you.

  3. Your pal is not your pal at all, but someone who gets off on making you feel bad.

I know that girls can be mean, even meaner than boys sometimes, but I also know that girls are good at finding offense when none is intended.

Helpful, eh? Well I did say in my male opinion.

Sports, sports, sports, sports.

12

Oh, I can relate to the OP.

Gobear, you’ve got the right idea - people working hard to lose weight should be proud and congratulated for their accomplishment. But people who are obsessed with it are a pain in the ass.

My roommate is a triathlete, and in her off-season, has started working with a personal trainer, or as I call him, a “Nutrition Nazi.” He wants her to drop 40 lbs, and has her on all kinds of supplements, and the only actual food she seems to be eating is canned tuna, bananas, cottage cheese, and a daily dose of flaxseed oil. She comes home from every session with him feeling like shit about herself, and she is OBSESSED with food and weight and nutrition. She’s been going out to eat with her new boyfriend and bringing almost her whole meal home because she feels too guilty about eating it.

Those of you who have seen my fit, muscular roommate who can run a marathon know that she does not need to drop 40 lbs. Roommate has also decided that her cat needs to lose weight, and has him (and therefore my cat) on a very restricted diet that the obsesses over almost as much as her own.

I, on the other hand, really do need to lose weight. I’ve lost about 30 lbs in the last year. I do this by drinking lots of water, walking back and forth to work every day, swimming, and trying to eat lots of fresh green things and fruits. I still have a long way to go, but I’m doing it at my own pace and with a pretty healthy attitude. She is pressuring me to get on her insane program with her, and it makes mealtimes in the house a bit unbearable.

I think many women have a fucked up guilt/shame relationship with food. Some of them feel they have to apologize for every morsel that goes into their mouths, justifying the eating of a normal meal by claiming “they haven’t really eaten all day.” I’ve had a lot of friends who fall into this category, and it’s both boring and hurtful to be around their constant inner dialogue.

I think we’ve discussed in prior threads that the #1 table manner is to eat your own food and keep your mouth shut about what everyone else is eating. Some people need a reminder.

Welcome to the boards, fizzestothetop.

13

She sounds like a former “friend” of mine. Everything had to be a competition. She was very passive-agressive about it and thought I couldn’t see through that. From what you’ve said, that’s what it sounds like to me.

It’s one thing to be proud of weight loss and want a little attention, but it’s another thing entirely to beg for it.

So did she cheat on her boyfriend after she lost the weight? Damn bitch!

14

Thanks, Magdalene. Like I said, I know that many women have an unhealthy fixation on food and body image, but I don’t understand it.

As anyone on this board knows, I believe unequivocally that being fit is better than being fat, but I think that America is being fed a load of snake oil by the supplements industry about how a healthy body should look.

Yeah, eating canned tuna is an excellent way to gain extra protein for muscle size, and flaxseed oil and bananas are also good for you, but if that’s ALL she eats, something is seriously wrong. Why does her trainer say she needs to lose 40 lbs.? What are the trainer’s sports medicine qualifications?

Eating 4 or 5 SMALL meals a day, combined with a program of aerobic exercise and strength training is the sensible way to lose body fat and improve general fitness. But you gotta have cheesecake once in a while, or what’s the point of living?

15

mmm…off eat lunch…

16

gobear- its not jealousy. I used to be jealous of her, and pretty much any beautiful skinny girl and that drove me to try to lose weight. First it was just going to the gym and walking and that was ok, but I wasn’t seeing any results so I started on diet pills that kept me from getting hungry, I took pills to boost my metabolism, I stopped drinking sodas and used laxitives almost every day. I love 30 lbs that way but it was the wrong way. It was from all the pressure that I felt from people around me talking about weight loss and how beautiful and healthy I would be if I lost around 50lbs. Nice to know I’m not beautiful now. :rolleyes:

Eventually I got off that and just went back to doing the gym thing. I’ve gained back 8lbs of what I lost and I don’t go to the gym anymore either. I’m content where I am now and I really don’t care to lose anymore weight. The sole reason I wanted to was because I thought I had to after what everyone else was saying. I was angry, bitter and jealous for a long time and that’s why I get upset when I hear friends or family going on and on about how they lost weight. They don’t realize that some people have had problems and what they say don’t help at all.

She’s a lovely girl, and very sweet for the most part, its just when she starts on the diet thing I wanna rip her head off. :slight_smile: I’m happy for her if she feels better now about herself and I’ll support her on that, I just don’t need to hear about. She can be happy dieting and I just want to be happy being a thick happy girl.

Besides why would I be jealous when I can eat my cheesecake and not feel guilty about it?

(The she I keep referring to isn’t really always one specific person, its a few girls I know that tend to do this sort of thing, including my own mum. Ugh.)

17

Again, I think a lot of this crap is women taking their inner dialogues and self-hatred and uttering it aloud. They hate THEIR extra pounds and THEIR lack of self control/need for constant control, they express that self-hatred, and your sensitive ears hear it as hatred of you. A sort of “if she thinks that about herself, what must she think of me?” thing.

Gobear, I don’t know how qualified her trainer is. He’s at a Bally’s, which makes me a bit skeptical, and he is recommending these changes based on a measurement of her BMI. His advice and the supplements are EXPENSIVE. I don’t think he’s telling her to eat those specific foods - his advice might be in the “4 or 5 small meals a day” category but her obsessiveness and guilt have led her to think those foods are “safe.” She was eating a bit more variety a few weeks or so, but he yelled at her for something she ate so she became ultra conservative about it. I think she’s hearing a lot of conflicting advice from him, and he’s using the “break the person down and rebuild them” approach to motivation. He’s told her that everything she does, from the way she lifts weights, runs, swims, stands, and walks is wrong.

This woman has done solo biking around New Zealand, placed in the top 10 of 24-hour urban adventure races, and competes regularly in triathalons and marathons, including two 1/2 Ironmans this past year. She’s currently training for next year’s Eco-Challenge, if her team can get sponsorship. I know everyone can use advice and a tune-up now and then, but I don’t think this trainer is the right guy for her.

Visits to the gym should make people feel GOOD, not horrible about themselves.

18

Wait a sec, Magdalene. She’s a triathlete, and he’s basing his advice on her BMI? Fer chrissakes, BMI doesn’t work for athletes. From U.S News & World Report: “But by relying only on height and weight, the BMI misclassifies up to a quarter of the population. Body builders, for instance, often register as obese, although much of their weight is muscle.”

I get very frustrated with personal trainers, for whom there are few (if any) licensing standards. One trainer I had was a physical therapy student - he was terrific. The others have all been well-intentioned ignormases at best. One numbnuts recommended I do pull-downs behind my head - this after I told him that I’d dislocated by shoulder repeatedly. Of course I ended up in the hospital, and of course my orthopedist told me that no one should do pulldowns behind the head because it’s too hard on the rotator cuff. Grr!

19

(bolding mine)

Can I just hijack here with a mini-rant on this subject please? Thank you.

Mothers—instilling a healthy attitude about food and weight issues should be damn near the top of your list of “important things I can do for my daughter”. However, do not–for the love of god–take this to mean that you must displace your own fucked up conflicts about your body onto your kid. I was shopping over the weekend and was waiting for a dressing room to open up. A door opens and a young girl (I’d guess around 12) pops out to model her outfit for her mother, obviously impressed with herself. This girl was perfectly lovely and looked–IMHO–very cute. So what’s ol’ mummy got to say about it? Not “that color looks great on you Katie” or “I like that one best of all” or even a non-commital “what do you think, honey?”. NO. She looks her daughter up and down and practically sneers at her
“Well, we’ll need to be doing something about that stomach, I see,” and as Katie turned and posed, “And you wonder why I won’t buy ice cream to keep in the house.”
BITCH! I ached inside for your daughter as I watched her face fall to pieces. She was obviously feeling good about herself–despite having a shriveled up, calorie-counting, binging and purging asslicker like you for a mother–and you just couldn’t let it be, could you? Bitter much? I smiled at her when you turned around, pretending not to notice the tears welling up in her eyes, and said “I think you look great–she’s nuts”. I added a little swirly-around-the-ear gesture and saw her try to smile. Katie–wherever you are, the best thing you could ever do for yourself is to study how your mother deals with food and DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

Fuck–that scene just about ruined my day and that poor girl had to go home with it.

This hijack has now ended, thank you and good day.

bella

20

I think she’d be a damn bitch whether it was before or after her weight loss.

I think your friend is just proud of her weight loss but if she knows that you don’t like hearing all about it she should quit talking about it in front of you. That’s just inconsiderate. You’re happy with yourself and that’s all that matters. I do like Zette’s suggestion of licking the filling out of an Oreo right in front of her. Pretty funny!

I think belladonna’s story is heartbreaking. I’ve heard mothers talk to their young pre-teen daughters this way and it’s sickening. There are girls out there as young as 9 and 10 years old who are dieting and worrying about their weight and drinking diet soda. WTF! Parents should be teaching their kids how to eat healthy and stay fit but they also have to set an example and do it themselves! Kids have a hard enough time with their self esteem without their parents making it worse by telling them they have a big stomach or fat thighs. I’ll never get on my kids about their weight because I cook healthy for myself and for them. There’s still chips, cookies, and ice cream in our house (and the kids have chocolate milk every day) but we have to eat our healthy food before we indulge in the junk food.

My mom is constantly talking about her diets and talking about how much she weighs, what she’s gained, what she’s lost… “I’m gonna have a piece of pie today because I lost one pound last week and my diet doesn’t start again 'till Monday.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. She doesn’t exercise… she only diets. She doesn’t understand that if she wants to lose weight she needs to eat 3 small well-balanced meals and 3 healthy snacks each day and exercise daily. She skips breakast, has a salad for lunch and a large dinner at night. She’s 5’ 1" and weighed 90 lbs. when she got married (36 years ago!) and now she weighs 135. She seems to think that she should be able to get her weight down to 105 lbs. again and I hate to tell her… it’s not gonna happen and it’s not healthy! She’s 57 years old and has had three children. It’s only natural that she’s put on weight and her metabolism has slowed down. I’ll still support her on her diets but I get so sick and tired of her talking about how many calories are in every little thing she eats!

I’ve put in my 2 cents so I’m going to stop for now. Talking about weight always makes me defensive and angry