It doesn’t come up often, but I say, “Oh, that was a long time ago.” And I’m surprised that, yes it was a long time ago (I was just out of the Army when I joined the SDMB AOL forums!).
It doesn’t really come up because, well, how would it come up? The last time it came up was as closing for my house, and only 'cos I used V.A. instead of conventional (it was a half-point cheaper, and still advantageous given the V.A. fee on a second use).
Rather than wanting to be thanked, I want to thank the people that are serving now.
I do get that it’s embarrassing, but I think you mis-read it as hero worship. I think folks feel strongly about expressing their gratitude, especially since 9/11.
My personal thoughts are that service members signed up to follow lawful orders. Those orders can take them some fairly terrible places, seeing and doing some fairly terrible things. They might also never leave Kansas. They might have signed up to earn money for their family, or to get the GI bill, or because 9/11 had a personal impact. Doesn’t really matter. They signed up (or not, in the case of the draft). They served. The military isn’t perfect, but it is a big part of our history and why America is what it is today. I honor that service, because to do otherwise is wrong. The willingness to give one’s live for one’s country should never be taken lightly (and, yes, I know that not every role requires this). I might disagree with political leadership over what our military is asked to do on occasion, but I support our military and our veterans.
I also don’t want to embarrass anybody, so I look for more tangible ways to help out, like Operation Paperback and some of the other support groups.
I dislike being thanked for my service, it feels awkward and uncomfortable for me. I didn’t do for you, I did it for my reasons and my family. I usually just say you’re welcome and move on. Except for one time, I don’t remember now all the details, but there was one person who would not accept a simple “you’re welcome” and I sort of lost my cool. I told them in less than complimentary terms what I thought of them and to go volunteer at the local rescue mission and ask to work specifically with homeless vets if they were really that interested in being thankful for my service.
The best one of these interactions I’ve ever had was a simple “that’s cool, I appreciate it”. I liked that. No reply needed, no awkward uncomfortableness happening, just acknowledgement, good enough.
My store is very close to an air force base and we get a lot of people in here at lunch in fatigues (IOW, very recognizable as what most people think of as “army guys”, I’d guess) . I hear “thank you for your service” once or twice a week and the replies are generally what I see above. Sort of an awkward ‘thanks’ or ‘you’re welcome’ or some kind of head nod/eye contact as they go about their business. Some do engage a bit more with (as was mentioned as well) something along the lines of ‘it’s my honor’ or ‘proud to do it’.
But, like ‘how’s your day going’, I don’t think most of these people are looking for a specific response, it’s just something they feel is appropriate to say to someone they know is/was in the armed forces. “you’re welcome” is all you need, just like telling someone your day’s been ‘fine’.
Our local grocery does just that. No cheesy slogans, but 10% off on everything in the place one day a week, and it doesn’t matter if you’re active or retired; if you have an ID card, you get the discount. Nobody else in town does that, to my knowledge.
I was in the Army but don’t feel I really did anything noteworthy but I usually just say thanks back or something. I’ve always been interested in the Vietnam War and I love hearing the stories of Vietnam Vets. There was one I met that I sat there and talked with after work for about an hour, and afterwards I thanked him for his service because after all the guy was drafted and didn’t get to choose to go or not he cried pretty hard and thanked me, shook my hand, hugged me, and told me how nobody ever does that, the guy was also missing a leg from the war, I could tell taking some time out of my day, listening to him, and thanking him really meant a lot to him.
I served from '81 to '88. Pretty much exactly Reagan’s term as President. Nobody prior to 9/12/01 ever thought to say (or AFAIK think) “thank you.”
I served well past Viet Nam and both the pro- and con- excesses that war generated. The military in my era wasn’t worshipped or reviled. It was simply ignored. Much as it is today except in these feel-good “thank you” comments and bumper stickers.
If the US wants to thank its service members it needs to at least triple the VA budget to serve the minimum needs of our many thousand damaged warriors. And I say that as somebody in a high tax bracket with zero service-connected disability.
I find the whole thing a bit weird and creepy, but it’s one of those areas where I can’t see how commenting on the phrase can do anything but piss people off to no good end, so I don’t say anything when I hear it. It feels very much like jingoistic posturing when so many of the ‘thank you for your service’ types vote for politicians who cut veterans benefits.
As a ‘civilian’ if I interact with somebody who is/was in the military who is clearly fishing for the ‘thank you’ (I’ve interacted with many ex-military, IME older generations are much less likely to be looking for it), I give it. Otherwise I don’t. I’m not expecting anything from it. It’s a little gesture which costs me nothing if the other person seems to be looking for it.
I had a contractor try to use his service as a Marine to wangle a tip for the work he did. It was obvious that that was what he was doing, giving me the sad eyes and all. I asked him how long he was in and he said ‘three years’. I told him to add 20 to that and he’d have my career. He seemed startled and mumbled the ‘thanks for your service’ nonsense as I closed the door.
In my local small suburb we’re in the midst of a mayoral election. The incumbent is retiring so the field is wide open for the taking.
One guy in his late 60s is running the best (or at least best-funded) campaign. Has his face plastered all over town. He’s the outsider with business experience and clean hands who’s fed up with sleazy town politics. Or so he says.
After the signs had been up about a week suddenly a large overlay was added to each sign. The word “VETERAN” in 6" red block letters on a large white background.
Turns out per his bio he had served 2 years as an enlisted clerk typist in the stateside USAF in the post-Vietnam era.
I appreciate the thanks but I don’t need anything else and I’ll respond with a thank you to their comments. There’s not much else to say.
I had a conversation over a few beers in front of some fireworks with a friend who didn’t realize that I was a veteran until that night. He was laying on the thanks a little too much (he had a few beers, after all) and wanted to know if there was anything that I needed. I don’t. I’ve been out for 20 years (jeez I’m old), but it’s the veterans now who I am worried about.
For veteran status, the Vietnam era goes from 1961 to 1975. And of course, you don’t need to have been anywhere near a war zone to get that status. My brother joined the Army after all the fighting was done in Korea and was still able to claim veteran status, even though the ‘era’ ended a month after he joined.
What do you mean “veteran status”? Other than special things, any veteran has “veteran status.” I have veteran status on my driver’s license, because I have a DD-214.