Its something thats often struck me. People in the US invariably thank soliders/sailors/airmen/marines for their service when they meet them.
Althought I am not a military man, or American, I do come from a family with many many military personnel.
People my grandads generation in my family would be insulted if anyone thanked them for their service, my dad (who was an army officer and who saw a lot of frontline service) less so, but he would probably reply along the lines of “don’t thank me for doing my duty”.
Most of my family was in the Pakistan Army, before that the British Indian Army. From what I have seen of the UK, they don’t thank soldiers either, or not to the level that the US dose.
No disrespect meant I hasten to add. But why the cultural difference as such?
I am surprised to hear your report that others don’t feel gratitude toward the military. I will note that there was a time when certain portions of the American public did not. You may have read reports of Vietnam-era soldiers and ex-soldiers being called “baby-killers.”
Personally, I appreciate that someone is putting his own life on the line for the country, these days voluntarily.
People in your grandad’s generation were most likely in the draft pool, right? So in some sense, whether they signed up before the draft or were in fact drafted, serving in the armed forces was more of a “duty” then than it is now (with our all-volunteer military). In other words, it’s not so much a “duty” today as it was in previous generations, and it seems appropriate to thank soldiers for volunteering. Also, American has had a pro-soldier don’t-you-dare-disrespect-a-soldier hard-on since the Vietnam War.
It’s actually a relatively recent thing, in my perception. To me, it started developing during the Reagan age and really picked up after Gulf War I (and of course intensified excponentialy after 9/11). In a way, hobscrk777’s post alludes to a factor in it – with the passing of time there was a general societal revisiting of attitudes and values and the populace began to feel that in ways both real and perceived, the Vietnam-Era veterans were given short shrift both during and after their service – not just taken for granted but actually ill-treated. So, there was a cultural move in the opposite direction, to offer to the soldiers frequent and overt gestures of solidarity and recognition.
It does seem, in my impression that old-school type veterans like the OP’s elders or the American vets of WW2 tend to be very discreet and to demur at other people making a big deal of their service – they figure that doing your duty, not the admiration of the public, is what brings satisfaction and honor.
Its not ingratitute at all, quite the opposite. Insulting a soldier has always been a a no-no. In a way, both thanking soldiers and calling them “baby killers” would be unacceptable. The concept of “doing your duty” is pretty strong, and would cover both senarios, the soldiers are in either case merely doing their duty.
I think the older generation as well as others here think that if you thank someone for serving, its insinuating that they were I dunno…unwilling, had to be cajoled?
But if we’re dealing with an army of volunteers rather than draftees, isn’t that the reality? Especially if college tuition (or similar) was a major factor in his decision?
Surely, a great many of our our volunteer soldiers did volunteer out of a pure sense of duty. But still, they had the option of not volunteering. No one and no thing (other than their conscience) made them do it. It seems to me that this is good enough reason to thank them.
I do understand that their sense of duty could make some of them uneasy about accepting our thanks. I would ask them to consider that our thanks are not directed at them personally, but that our thanks are merely a poor attempt to apologize to the Vietnam-era veterans who we treated so terribly.
American here. I had a friend who served during the Gulf War, and when I thanked him it caused a bit of an awkward moment. He responded, “Gee, I don’t know how to respond to that. You’re welcome?”
That’s just one example, but I’d speculate that not all U.S. soldiers necessarily “get” the thanking custom any more than the rest of us. Perhaps it strikes some of them as unnecessarily patronizing or just plain embarassing.
My opinion about the differences between the attitudes toward the military in America and in other countries has to due will the voluntary and temporary service of most military personel. The American idea of a citizen run government is also a factor as opposed to a ruling class that is separate from the average citizen.
There are career military in the US but the majority are on their way back to private life and have thus made a temporary sacrifice of some of the good years of thier life. And that is seen as a community service.
My impression, and it may be wrong, is that in many other countries the military is more of a *goal *as a career. And I wonder if the military is seen as more elite than the average citizen. Particularly in developing countries, it is a way to gain positions of power and authority.
I would guess it’s because some of them are just doing a job. Military service isn’t automatic martyrdom, and not all military personnel are “volunteering to die for all Americans”, regardless of what Lanzy says.
Some people join the military to pay for college. Some do it because they’ve always wanted to fly helicopter gunships, or whatever. Some do it to protect their fellow men.
Well, that makes some sense in, say, Pakistan, where being a top army officer more or less guarantees you a government portfolio if you want one. It doesn’t explain why the thank-a-soldier attitude doesn’t really exist in, say, Britain.
Re Britain, the turn of the 20th century attitude can be summed up in Kiplings poems.
Re Pakistan, my dad must have missed that memo, when he was a senior commander. :dubious:
It is true in most countries, if you are a senior commander, you have influence in gov policy as long as it is related even marginally to military matters. As a Col, Colin Powell served in the Department of Energy.
Is it not because, compared to the Vietnam war era, there are fewer people serving in the army and they’re serving voluntarily?
I don’t think there’s the same custom here in Britain of thanking soldiers for their service when you meet them, which I think is a shame. I wouldn’t find it weird at all to thank soldiers for their service (if they’ve actually served in conflicts) and I don’t see why soldiers wouldn’t appreciate being thanked for the difficult and dangerous work they do.
Missed edit window again
Senior officers are a seperate issue. It dose not explain how the Tommys, Hans, Pierres, Jose’s, Ali,'s, Kumars of the world who join their militarys do not expect to get thanked in the same ways as GI Joe dose.