The truth now- You know you SHOULD send 'em, but do you? I don’t mean an e-mail, either. A notecard with a handwritten sentiment like “Thanks for the ebola virus. I loved it!”
I send thank you notes for things like: Gifts (Christmas, birthday or other)
Parties (I’m old, so I don’t mean keggers. I mean actual arranged parties with food, etc)
Dinner Parties (Invited to someones house for a nice dinner- not pizza and beer)
Favors/Free Tickets/Etc (A client of my husbands took us up in his hot-air balloon and I made him a nice, balloon themed thank you card. He has it hanging in his office and says it’s the ONLY one he’s ever received in the years he’s been taking people up for FREE)
The usual reaction to getting a thank you card (I have found) is astonishment. I attended several parties this year that are annual events, but our first year invited. Each time the host has called me and said they were shocked to get a thank you, as it has not occured before.
So is this a dead thing? I don’t plan on stopping. I’m sending one out today for a party we attended over the weekend. It only takes a minute, and it really makes people feel appreciated.
Zette, you’re right, not many people send thank-you cards these days. I LOVE to send thank you cards and usually make then myself. Not only is it a joy to extend my gratitude, I also enjoy the whole creative process. I have also found that people are astonished when they receive my card. Just makes me more determined than ever to keep sending them!
I always send a thank you note. Even if I already took a bottle of wine or some other “hostess gift” type of thing.
For birthday and Christmas gifts, from family, no, we do not exchange notes, but the person who hosts Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever (we take turns in my family) will get a thank you note, plus a hostess gift or bottle of wine.
Gifts from other people do get a thank you note. I am a teacher and get lots of little gifts from my students at Christmas, Teacher Appreciation week and at the end of the school year. Each child will get a thank you note, with a couple stickers or something like that enclosed.
Hubby and I have attended four weddings within the past few months and I have yet to receive even one thank you note for the gifts. We have another (!) wedding this weekend and I wonder how long it will take to get one.
Four years ago, I was on bedrest for a complicated pregnancy, and friends, neighbors and people from my church brought food over and even cleaned and did laundry. EVERY ONE of them got a hand-written thank you note.
Good lord, of course I send thank-you notes; do you think I was raised by wolves?
More importantly—a lesson I learned from Joan Crawford!—I always answer my fan mail. Whenever my book publisher or a magazine forwards a letter from a reader, I always answer promptly. Not only have I made some lovely friends that way, but they will also go out and buy my next book if I’m nice enough to answer their mail.
I think my mother sctually sends thank-you notes for thank-you notes, but that IS carrying things a bit far.
spooje was raised by woooolves,
spooje was raised by woooolves!
Eve,
I wrote a note to the author of a book I’d just finished thanking him for writing it and saying how much I enjoyed it. He wrote back and said that even though all of his published writings have his e-mail address printed in them, mine was the first note he got. I really was starting to think I was wacky for saying thanks.
Keep it coming, I’m quite interested in who sends thank yous. And spooje (wolfboy), I do say thank you in person (or at a party- thank you for inviting us- we had a great time) but I think it makes people glad they put out the effort for the event when they get a nice note about it. Kind of like “I loved your party so much, three days later I’m thinking about and am moved to write and let you know”. I dunno, I just think it’s nice.
wring - ack! I do! (I’m almost afraid to get started on this.) Inkpads, stamps, decorative scissors, card stock, decorative paper . . . the list goes on and on. I just spent a GLORIOUS saturday making scrapbook pages for the trip my SO and I took to Gatlinburg, TN a few weeks ago. I was in heaven!
I love to send thank-you notes. Most people who get them are shocked - kind of a sad commentary. And boy, does it make people remember you.
ZeGirl and wring: you said it, creating your own notes is so much nicer than buying mass-produced stuff. I hate manufactured note cards, greeting cards, envelopes, note pads, etc., and almost always make my own. Someday I’ll get around to making a few sets and selling them at some craft fair. wring, aren’t you the person who said in a thread a while back that she also makes envelopes ?
O, glorious paper products! Vellum, bristol board, card stock, handmade paper … ink stamps, artist’s markers, paint pens, paper edgers, photo corners! I just love them all!
just e-mailed **ZeGirl. Miss Bunny **? no, I don’t currently make my own envelopes, although they’re easy enough to do. Did do a “sleeve” of sorts from a page of wallpaper.
Yes, I find the home made thank you’s to be a much nicer way to go. and allows me to exercise some amusement as well (Elvis, thank you, thank you verrrrrry much).
Of all the grand kids in my family: My sister’s son will barely acknowledge a gift (and only if he happens to be right there - if you send him something, you’ll never hear about it). My sister’s daughter writes notes.
My son, will, with prodding call a thank you. hates to write notes.
My brothers’ daughters will make a card (together).
ms manners is my hero. i not only write thank you notes, i respond to invitations on house paper. all cards are home made as well. the fact that the people who get these goodies through the mail are shocked (and touched) is a sad commentary on the times.
I really do think it’s a “girl” thing about keeping up with correspondence, thank you notes, and the like. I’ve never known a man to write a note without prodding or (yikes!) nagging.
I write thank you notes for parties, overnight-stays, and gifts, especially when I know the host/giver went out of their way to do something special.
I haven’t gone so far to make my own special little notes and stuff… but I do buy unusual note papers and handmade little cards.
It is 2 1/2 months since my wedding and still haven’t sent my thank you notes. I wasn’t raised to send thank you notes. But then again, I didn’t have b-day parties and most gifts came from family. My husband on the other hand, has an extensive family that send crap to him and he has always sent thank you’s. I figure HE should send the thank you notes, since they are HIS family.
I never send thank you notes. The only time I ever did was when I got married. I sent notes for shower and wedding gifts.
Growing up, we just never did this sort of thing, and my parents never even brought it up, so I guess they didn’t do it either, and I actually had to “learn” as an adult, that you’re supposed to send Thank You notes for gifts, bring a gift with you when you are invited to someone’s house, and stuff like that. It’s really hard to remember, though, it’s just not part of my thought processes. I still don’t see why just saying, “thanks” at the time isn’t sufficient.
Etiquette says you have 6 months after a wedding to send a thank you card, though the sooner the better.
Frankly, in my college years i stopped sending thank yous to grandparents, uncles, etc., and subsequently, didn’t receive many gifts in the following years. I started again a couple of christmases ago, thanking everyone, even if it was just a card for my birthday, and the gifts started rolling in again. Uncanny the way that works.
And I didn’t do it for the gifts, I realized my relatives felt slighted, and I wanted them to know I appreciated them. Lately, I’ve actually told them I don’t need any more gifts, as I have most of all I need, so now I get a couple little things here and there, and that leaves me happy. And they still get cards.
Oh my, Ivar, Miss Manners would most gently skin you alive. With all politeness, of course. After she recovers from her smelling salts.
Etiquette says you have 5 minutes after opening your wedding gifts to write a thank-you note, athough Miss Manners, and I believe Emily Post, say that newlyweds have a special dispensation for up to 2 weeks. (Clearly, one must use common sense: if they didn’t get them done in 2 weeks, the couple shouldn’t think what the hell, limit’s passed, so tough.)
You may be thinking of wedding gifts. You have a year after the wedding to send a gift. (Obviously you could take 20 years, if you want; a gift is a gift; or send no gift at all.) Etiquette-wise, though, it is supposed to be perfectly acceptable to take up to a year - it allows the giver to find out what the couple didn’t yet receive, or what will match in their new home, etc.
But technically, thank-you notes must go out immediately!
I must admit, I rarely send thank you notes. I also must admit that this thread has enlightened me, mainly because I genuinely do appreciate what’s extended to me, and it never really dawned on me how much a brief, written note might mean. Although I’m not of wolf decent, (my mom and pop didn’t go around blowing down houses anyway), it was definitely not a “must do” kinda thing. Or, maybe it was and I just don’t remember. (Last sentence a result of guilt that I’m blaming my deviant behaviour on those who raised me…I love you, mom!)