Melin
I’ll have to bring a Turtle card when we have the next So. Cal. SDShindig! 
No, I don’t work for a pet store. I work for a social service agency. They send everyone chocolate turtles for their birthday. It’s a nice gesture. I was just peeved the other day because of everything going on and my supervisor never says anything to my face about the good work I do.
BTW, if I ever become CEO (which is a job I wouldn’t actually want) I’ll at least send out chocolate truffles, for cryin’ out loud.
I used to be a ‘men’s clothing specialist’ in a JC Penny store. It’s another name for a commissioned salesman on a minimum base pay. We were all oriented upon getting hired as to what a great god of a man Mr. Penny was but it all boiled down to he was basically a cheap son of a b. (He used to have his store managers meet in some town – poked them in cheap hotels and made them walk to the meeting place. He did not like even springing for their meals, so he provide cold cuts during the meetings, finding it cheaper.)
After facing irritated customers during holidays, discovering that people would ‘buy’ a suit, wear it once to an occasion and then return it as ‘unsuitable’ and get their money back, I discovered that JC Penny was deducting my commissions for every returned item. People would buy pants, have them fitted, wear them and then return them. Our employee numbers were on the sales slips – so our commissions were deducted. Later, JC decided not to take back fitted clothing. I learned to palm the sales receipt and if the customer did not ask for it, I tossed it, so if they returned anything, no one could tell who sold it to them.
We had to wear 3 piece suits in the summer, even when the air conditioning was turned up to save power. I actually sweated the armpits out of two jackets and had to have two more lined with protective pads. We were not allowed to go in shirt sleeves and tie. Our boss was a bitch. After a year of putting up with it all, JC Penny gave me a tiny pewter pin to wear on my lapel. Big shit. I never got a bonus. I even went in after a hurricane to check the store for damage and to help open it up. I quit after a year and a half.
What? Me worry?’
My firm also gives little trinkets to everybody each year “in apprecation of all your hard work.” What sucks is that all the gifts (key chains, coffee cups, tile coasters, ugly squares of nasty chocolate, etc.) are emblazzoned with the company logo. Like I really want to think about this place when I leave the office. They get free advertising, and still get to say that they do so “give something back” to their employees. Gotta’ love corporate America.
Johnny, Melin, before you start counting yourself members, you will need to answer the following questions.
#1 What is round, hard and sticks so far out of a man’s pajama’s that you can hang a hat on it?
#2 What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and sticky?
#3 What is 6 inches long and women can’t wait to get their hands on?
#4 What is a four letter word, ending in “K” that means to have intercourse?
#5 What is long, hard and filled with seamen?
I worked for a place that honored your putting in ten years with them, buy giving the guys a tie tac with the company name on it.
They also made it into a big presentation at the store weekly meeting.
Nothing says thanks for all those years, like a company tie tack.
The place I work for now, gave all the ten year employees a week of vacation days last year. That’s much better.
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
I’d imagine the answer to Arnold’s first question is “his head.” What else could he possibly mean…?
Catrandom
Please, don’t answer that :0
Catrandom
Arnold
What? You think we didn’t have to answer those (or similar) questions to get into the Turtles originally?
Are you a turtle?
Oh, #2 is gum.
number one is a head
To add to the questions propounded above:
What is it that every man has… some men’s are longer than others’… the Pope doesn’t use his… and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
- Rick
His last name