Bosses Day

The BBQ Pit
1

Oh huzzah, Bosses Day is here. I was WAITING for the opportunity to show my boss how much I appreciate her. Because it’s not enough that she gets paid a shitload more than I do and gets to determine my work life here, I also would like the opportunity to thank her for it. We drones don’t nearly get enough opportunities to show our appreciation for the folks above us.

So in the meantime, my Boss’ minion is taking orders for the celebration. “What would you like from the Panera place, Lego?” Hell if I know, I don’t know anything about it. “Oh but it’s the yummiest gourmet sandwich of them all!” Yeah well for me, all ‘gourmet’ means is someone else made it, so Subway falls into that category as far as I’m concerned. I simply don’t give even a third of a flying fuck what I eat at the Bosses Day shindig, though I appreciate the dual opportunity to both declare my love of the person who hired me AND display my ignorance of local fine dining establishments.

While I certainly don’t want my workplace to be a pit of scorpions, let’s not pretend we’re a family, folks. We’re people doing a job. I’m here for the check. I have no intention of being rude to anyone, and will be friendly, but folks, this ain’t my life and I have no intention of changing that any time soon. I buy cards for my friends and family, not for my boss. Am I thanking her for not being a ruthless taskmaster? If so, why not send everyone I know a card on “Thanks for Not Hitting Me With a Stick Day”?

2

Shit. I almost blew coffee all over the keyboard.

I would love to see a "Thanks for Not Hitting Me With a Stick Day"

3

Man, is my place the only place where this Boss Day thing is going on? Have I misunderstood and it’s actually a holiday celebrating Bruce Springsteen?

I smell a scam here…

4

I got my boss a nice card for Bosses day because I’m such a brown noser. I was the only one who remembered, and you can bet your ass I didn’t remind anyone. I thanked him for making my job such a pleasure, and he was truly touched.

:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Zette
Who knows which side her apple is buttered on

5

Zette, you butter you apples!?

I didn’t realize it was bosses day today until I saw someone putting away the remnants of an ice-cream cake today in the breakroom. I guess that particular person’s sub-group had some sort of celebration for the manager of cube sector delta. We had no such celebrations in my cube zone. We have no need for such things as there is a designated brown noser who is so far shoved up our bosses’ ass, no further brown nosing is necessary (and would not be noticed anyway).

P.S. Thanks for not hitting me with a stick today Legomancer! You are tops!

6

Ahhh…Zette, the consummate office ass-kisser :smiley:

What would our cubicle lives be without someone like you to brighten our day! Our office “Zette-In-Training” passed around a Bosses Day card with an envelope for “contributions”. What the fuck for? A new hood ornament for the Mercedes? Being short some change, I borrowed a dollar for a Coke and some Zingers at the snack machine.

Oh shit, now Zette’s gonna tell the boss!! :wink:

7

Yeah, I think Bosses’ Day is fairly dumb, too, but I’m a little confused about the part of the OP’s rant dealing with the free sandwiches. You’re complaining because they want you to pick what sandwich you want for lunch? I am of course assuming they are paying for lunch, which may be incorrect, but dude, if they are, why the hell are you complaining? Free lunch is free lunch, whether it’s to celebrate some lame holiday or not!

I went ahead and signed the card that the people around here got for our boss, but that’s because our boss is a genuinely cool person, and I appreciate her efforts to make this a tolerable workplace.

8

My boss’s wife died recently, and I did everything with the arrangements, covered the office alone for three day (missing the funeral, and sent out over 200 thank you cards.

If that ain’t enough for the man, I quit!

9

Well, I didn’t get jack for Bosses’ Day, from either of my two minions. (And how they would love being referred to as minions – not.) But then, I didn’t give my bosses jack for Bosses’ Day, either, so I call it a wash.

But if the question is “Isn’t Bosses’ Day just a manufactured crap-fest of pseudo-affection, thought out to line the pockets of greeting card manufacturers?”, the answer is “Yes.” So at least I can pretend my nonparticipation is based on principle instead of laziness.

10

{twitch}

Esprix

11

I didn’t play a dirty prank on this attorney who makes my life and my coworkers’ lives miserable. We have stolen his mouse balls before, and today was supposed to be the day we unscrewed his chair so it would fall apart when sufficient pressure is placed upon it.

But because it is Boss’ Day, we put it off until tomorrow.

12

I don’t care what a jerk he is, animal cruelty is never appropriate. I hope you at least anesthetized the poor thing first.

13

Oh, I’m not dumb enough to pass an envelope. I was the ONLY one who remembered. The regular office envelope passer said not one word and did nothing. I was the only ass-kiss that remembered.

Oh, and my boss really is great. The best one I’ve ever had, in fact.

Zette
Corporate Ass-kisser
Pucker up, baby!

14

You do realize, Jodi, that despite our vast political and philosophical differences, I am going to marry you when I grow up.

MR

15

I get to my oblong this AM, (Hey, I’m the boss and get some extra space), and find a sign on my monitor that says," Happy Bosses Day". On my worktable there is a large platter of fresh bagels and containers of every kind of cream cheese, jam, jelly, and who knows what, that you can possibly find. There is another platter of salamis, cheeses, and crackers. Crumbs and dollops of all of it are already nicely spread and smeared in a lovely layer on my “in work” papers. (I’m sure the CEO will be pleased with the multi-colored report.) On my bookcase are a crock-pot with sliced Polish sausages in BBQ sauce, along side a box of donuts and a couple of bowls of cut-up fresh fruit, stewing in the natural juices. Most of the dept., about 12 of the 15 people, are either in my “office”, or milling around in the aisle. I am greeted with 3-4, “Happy Bosses Day, butthead, dipstick, fwad", several, "F you very muches”, and a couple of, “too bad you’re on a diet tubby, and can’t eat any of this shit”. The others straggle in fashionably late, and proceed to offer their greetings as well, “Sorry I’m late boss, and by the way, congrats on bosses day. We didn’t think you would last this long”. (Why are you sorry for being late today, I muse. Your sorry ass is late every frickin’ day.); “You wouldn’t believe the traffic and the idiots on the road this morning”. (Yes I would, and there’s one less out there now.) They load plates so full they need side boards like a dump truck. They make a significant contribution to the mess. By the time this love fest is over, it’s about 9:00 AM,(We start at 7:00), and there is BBQ sauce and crushed fruit on the floor, on the books in the bookcase,(good thing they belong to the company), and greasy handprints on my file cabinets, desk,
computer, everywhere. As the day progresses, several take a long lunch, and in the afternoon are pretty much usless, or not to be found until 5 minutes before quit time. A couple leave early, 1:00 PM, to go to the baseball playoff game between the Braves and D-Backs.

Aaahhh, just another day in paradise with the A-Team.

16

I want to be one of your employees, Toadie. I would really shine in that bunch. :smiley:

17

Is anyone else concerned that tevya is apparently working for the 'Borg?

18

Boss’s day? What a grand idea. We line up all the bosses, take careful aim and… fuck, I am in favour of gun control. Maybe we could take a page out of the bible and stone… fuck, I’m an atheist.

19

Secretary’s get a day… Bosses get a day… When the hell do I get a day?

Let me check my calendar… Nope, no Peon Day. Wait, maybe it’s Bottom-Dweller day… nope. Wage Slave Day? Don’t see it. Cubicle Dweller Loser Day? No! Chair Warmer Day? Oxygen to Carbon Dioxide Converter Day? Biological Resource Day? Company Asset Day? Day for the Wierdo Down the Hall?

Why the fuck don’t I get a day!

And don’t even mention that socialist Labor day thing to me… It’s not my day if everyone else that gets their own fucking day gets it off too!

20

Bosses’ Day? Seems to be one more strange American custom with which we across the herring pond are not burdened…

Let’s see. Yesterday, I did not grab hold of my crazed Australian boss, slice him open, and use his steaming entrails to write “I QUIT” across the ceiling. I think that’s showing him the consideration he deserves.

(Of course, he was out of the office all day yesterday…)