That could/would/should never happen to me

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Enough crap happens to me. I don’t need anymore.
In fact it makes me physically ill when weird/unexpected/undeserved things happen in my life.

I lay low. I don’t bug (too many) people. I mind my Ps and Qs. I’m kind. I help small defenseless critters. I donate to charity. I take care of my family, the best I can. Pay my dang taxes. And try to keep a cheerful attitude even facing extreme health problems.

Why do bad things happen?
I said it could never happen. I’m not in that demographic. I’m protected by circumstances to not to ever have that problem.

But…knock knock knock. It’s at my door. A black cloud.

Feels like an elephant sitting on my chest. It’s hard to feel my heartbeat, not because it’s not beating. It’s hard to feel because it’s so sadly beating.

I think I’m officially depressed.

2

Call your doctor first thing Monday AM.

#1 You’ve got some major health concerns. Feeling impending doom could be a symptom of something out of whack. Maybe it is just your electrolytes out of balance. A little adjustment now can fend off a Major Disaster further on down the road.

#2 this could be the beginning of an infection. People with chronic illnesses are very susceptible to infections.

#3 the entire Southeastern portion of the United States is undergoing an upheaval of bad weather. Torrential rainstorms, record-breaking floods, tornadoes, and Hell-inspired heat waves effects every-damn-body. The human body is mostly water, and it makes sense that high and low atmospheric pressure can gum up the works.

Drink lots of water (but stay within your maximum allowance). Keep cool. Sleep if you can. Sleep is a fantastic restorative to anything ailing you. Engage in “critter therapy.” Suround yourself with all of your fuzzy furkids, and FEEL their love for you.

And as always, Straight Dope is wonderful medicine!

Love you lots, Beck,
~VOW

3

I will do all those things. TY

4

[thorny locust makes black-cloud-dissipating gestures. The gestures are not based on any effective magic other than possibly a very bad attempt at Headology; but thorny hopes that imagining thorny making weird gestures at the sky and trees will make you giggle.

And what @VOW said about critter therapy and about the doctor.]

5

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sitting in a morose position in the closet crying. (Altho’ that might be next)
But a dark ‘thing’ is behind me. Somehow I don’t wanna leave that dark thing. But I wanna run too. I don’t like feeling unnerved and anxious.

I told Ivy. She felt my head and said to lay down awhile🤔.

I told the Lil’wrekker, she said “Hey, it’s national junk food day! I’ll get you a corndog”

I told Son-of-a-wrek, (smartest answer of all) “Go do things you like. Force yourself!”

So I went outside with the grand kids. It’s hot and sticky. Amazing how kids don’t really notice that. We had popsicles. Dogs had ice cubes.

The dark ‘thing’ is still there. But it’s not sitting on my head.

6

Do take care, Beckdawrek. This darn heat makes many health conditions worse.

7

They tell that witches are not afraid of fearsome things in the dark forest. Because they are confident they are the scariest thing in the dark forest.

Now, you and I both know, you’re def scarier than that dark thing.
Don’t forget!

Thinking of you, and sending heaps of hope!

8

This is a common misconception about depression. I’ve been diagnosed with and have suffered with depression nearly all my life, but those who don’t know me intimately (of which there are none, by choice), I’m a always happy, smiling, though introverted guy. I’m able to perform full time work and hang out with friends (though by choice, I have none right now), but fall into my inner pain when I’m alone.

Janis Joplin summed up my feelings, though not on her scale: “On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone.”

One or two of my medications also have anti-depressive properties, but for personal reasons, I sometimes skip them.

I won’t disclose which of the following I experience, but it’s a good number of them. Keep in mind that self or online diagnosis, including this and other forums, isn’t a substitute for professional help.

## Symptoms

Although depression may occur only once during your life, people typically have multiple episodes. During these episodes, symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day and may include:

** Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness*
** Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters*
** Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports*
** Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much*
** Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort*
** Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain*
** Anxiety, agitation or restlessness*
** Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements*
** Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame*
** Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things*
** Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide*
** Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches*

For many people with depression, symptoms usually are severe enough to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others. Some people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.

9

I have most of those symptoms attributed to physical problems. This is why it took a fair bit of time for me to figure out some of it might be depression.
I am gonna speak to my doctor.

I’m all about getting help.

10

Definitely agree. Not only extreme heat, but any type of weather or situation, such as the Covid lockdown, can increase depression and other health issues because we stay in more and socialize with fewer people.

11

Prayers, cares and wishing you all the best! Reaching out for professional help is a giant step towards getting better.

FYI, I suffer from severe back muscle strain when I’m stressed and combined with depression, it’s becomes a vicious circle. The more stressed I get, the more depressed I feel, which leads to more stress, which makes me more depressed, ad nauseum.

Decades ago, I couldn’t even stand up straight because I was so stressed at work. After multiple visits to my physician, I asked, “What can I do to stop this pain?”. The doctor replied: “Quit your job!”. A few months later I did and I could stand straight again!

Since then, whenever I start to hunch over, I know it’s time to find another job.

12

I’ve been wrestling with that beast since I was about thirteen. Like any chronic illness, you can learn to manage it with time. Sure sucks when you’re in the middle of it, though. Hugs to you and hard agree you need to see your doctor.

13

Re: #1. There was a House episode where a man felt depressed and Wilson thought that might be a symptom of something health-wise.

14

I have 2 lifelong conditions. Neither will be cured. They can be managed.
It’s a fight everyday. So far I’m treading water pretty good. It’s par for the course I would have some depression symptoms.

I have so so much to be thankful for. I really have no right to question my happiness. But in the wee hours I do.
And I feel ashamed to be sorry for myself, like that.

I’m feeling some better since I told a couple people here at home. At least I know Ivy understands even if she acts all nonchalant about it. I know she’ll help where she can.

Of course I feel better to tell a few hundred here on the Dope.

And Bayliss the dog listens to my every concern without judgement.:blush:

The cats couldn’t care less.

15

I haven’t commented in this thread but I’m reading. Know that you have my best wishes. You’re much loved here on the Dope. And you do have a lot to be thankful for – lots of Wreks around that love you, too, and a menagerie of animals that also all love you. Even the cats, although they’re prohibited by their species contract from showing it.

Of course. It’s part of what it means to be a Dog. :dog:

Of course. But it’s just a contractual obligation. :smirk_cat:

16

Mentioning “Black cloud,” made me think of this column from 1985. Might have nothing to do with you.

17

I knew my Cecil could fix me.

(But then there’s that dang ghost)

18

Take the below and everything anyone other than a skilled professional has to say with a few grains of salt.

This is a common issue with depression that spirals you down a dark rabbit hole. Please don’t beat yourself up over your feelings and thoughts. We all have our “library voice” outer self, where we present ourselves in different ways to different people and even our pets. Then sometimes shout at ourselves internally, sometimes even when we’re presenting our “library self”.

I used to believe that therapy alone could fix everything and only extreme cases require medication. I went to anger management over 30 years ago and was told by the therapist that I probably had some degree of physical brain damage due to my hitting my head against the wall or using a brick.

He said therapy can only go so far, and put me on a low dosage of Prozac, which he told me would even out my manic/depressive moods. After about 6 months, he said we had gone as far as we could with the in-person therapy. And when I asked him about continuing the Prozac, he said I had two choices, which in hindsight was probably part of the therapy. He told me I could continue the medication for the rest of my life, or if I thought I could continue the leveled out moods I had experienced, I could stop completely. I chose to stop and haven’t used it since.

19

This can be a vicious circle. Feeling bad about feeling bad makes you feel worse, and then you feel worse about feeling worse.

It’s important to realize that depression is a condition. If your unhappiness is out of proportion to your life’s problems (not that it actually is), it’s the depression talking. If you feel guilty about feeling unhappy, it’s the depression talking. If you feel ashamed, it’s the depression talking. None of it is because you’re unworthy (you’re not), or ungrateful (you’re not), or guilty of something (you’re not).

It’s as if someone were sneaking drugs into your food to make you feel bad. It’s something that happens to you, a condition. If you recognize it for what it is, it can help you break the cycle of self-loathing.

20

TY for that.
It helped.

Really all have. But that stuck a nerve.