** G ** is for “God’s teeth, this guy’s a goofball!”
Sorry to hear about your frustrations, leechbabe. With any luck, he’ll fall in the toilet and drown.
G is also for “Goddamn it, the simulpost demons got me.”
H is for Hell Leechy, send him to me and we’ll see if we can’t engage his brain with a swift kick to the backside.
Do I get a certificate of achievement?
PS. Where’s my stapler?
I have had one of these types as a trainee not long ago. He asked questions about things I had just shown him. He asked questions about things that had nothing to do with anything. He just never got it. He overanalized, overexamined and generaly freaked out over everything.
My new trainee doesn’t ask any questions. He Knows It All. And he keeps screwing up. When I see him doing something wrong, and try to correct him, he gets all pissed off.
I don’t know which is worse.
I is, of course, for Idiot.
J is for:
Jackass
Jerk
and
Jellybrain
K is for Kick him in the head. It is also for Kissing bosses ass. This is how idiots stay employed.
Leechy, what is this guy ‘temping’ AS?? Like, what can he do without instruction and/or supervision? Does your boss have any clue about just how incompetent Mr. Moron really is?
Or is this a secret CIA plot to drive you nuts so that you won’t even bother to try to renew your contract? 
L is for Lord Deliver Us from Morons.
M.
No-one has jumped in on M yet, so (to be so bloody predictable)
M is for Moron (duh!)
N is for nitwit.
“Where’s that metal dealy… you know… you use to …dig… food.”
Homer Simpson.
O is for “Oaf”
“Oh my God what a fucking Moron!”"
P is for “Please keep people like this out of my office!”
Q is for “Quit,” which, sadly, doofus will never do.
R is for “Rain”: if he looks up during it, he will drown
S is for “Shit-for-brains should stop showing up, since he’s so stupefyingly stupid!”
T is for Ten, his counting limit (without taking off socks and shoes)
U is for “U are a fucking idiot, use the key”
V is for Vapid, vacant and vegetable.
Why don’t you send him to Aukland? With any luck he’ll get on the wrong plane and wind up in Oakland (California), a nice long way away from you.
[sub](Incidentally, this actually happened back in the 1980s. A guy thought he was flying from Los Angeles to Oakland, and wound up on a flight to Aukland.)[/sub]
W is for a Whack upside the head, which will probably bounce off because his head is obviously filled with sponge cake.
A key? He didn’t know how to use a key? Sounds like his home is open for robbery…