Assuming, of course, that they would: a)show up for work in the first place; and b)actually do some work, instead of surfing all day.
Alternate universes have been discussed recently in other forums—surely such a workplace would qualify?
Depending on which Dopers were hired, it might be very much like a Steel Cage Electrified Barbed Wire Death Match. Or an orgy.
Is that **Sampiro **over there by the watercooler? Man, he has the best stories, but no one gets anything done when he gets going!
Did you hear, Mouse_Maven is pregnant! ! Guess she’s been a little overwhelmed down in the lab, and now we know why!
Check out featherlou’s new outfit! She is one brave lady to wear that to a board meeting!
Liberal’s yelling at Diogenes about some thing he said about American Idol. God, why don’t they just get a room already?!
…Prob’ly about like that. 
FUN!
Someplace I’d actually look forward to going. Even at 8:00 in the a-freakin’-m. Even on a Saturday.
May I put in a requisition for my department now? I’d like all the MMPers to be in my division.
Hopelessly embroiled in arguments concerning agonizing minutiae that nobody else would ever care about.
No actual work would get done, as all inhabitants would spend all their time researching cites such as arcane references to the correct Celtic origin of the word “the”.
Meetings would devolve into arguments about the proper placement of a semicolon in the last memo from the boss.
I’m not sure about it as an office, but as a business…
Top heavy, with 12,423,000,371,869 administative assistants even more idea people in marketing, an R&D division that knows no limits, a board and top floor coming to fisticuffs in GD over what color of pants our Washington lobbyist should wear… and Rick, Crafter Man, danceswithcats and MAYBE a handful of others sweating to make this month’s ships.
…And everyone would be too busy editing their posts to actually get any work done.
And discussions and meetings would last forever due to workers (like, say, Jodi) speaking up who don’t have anything to say except “I agree with everything the last person [like, say, Chefguy] said.”
Well, they’d spend a lot of time waiting for the server to respond.
Yeah, that was my first thought.
Hey! Some of us can perform their day-to-day functions AND rack up huge post counts!
“These 4th quarter projections don’t look so good.”
“Cite!”
Yep. There’d be a lot of asking for cites.
Hey, I’m productive! I only check the Dope four or five times a day, and then more-or-less during scheduled breaks.
(Except during OT, when I can pipe the printable versions of threads through a speech synthesizer without driving my cube neighbor insane. Then I guess I’m still productive, I just giggle more.)
I think it would actually be a bit awkward, if we all worked in the same office.
What with all the flirting, there’d be a lot of hot office sex. I know there’s a few of you that I’d totally bone.
And then horribly regret, because it would mess up the professional dynamic. “Oh, I can’t do deliver that report right now, people will think I’m giving you preferential treatment because we’re going at it like monkeys.” “What the hell? I needed this on Tuesday and it’s been on your desk longer than I have!”
THIS POST MAY BE IN DANGER OF VIOLATING THE ‘POSTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE’ GUIDELINE – CAN YOU TELL?
No sane person would even attempt to Boss this crew. It would be considerably easier to herd cats. Uphill. In the snow.
One word…Heaven…
I would rather work with a doper anyday than the few people I do work with…
Brendon
Barefoot!
Hell, for the last three days my job has consisted of waiting for my bosses to come up with something for me to do. One of them thinks I’m hilarious: he’d given me five tasks and I finished them in five days (I went real slow, didn’t want to make people look bad)… apparently others take about three times as much and complain they’re overloaded. Oops. Sorry, ain’t been here long enough to know how slow should I go.
We’d need a huge kitchen for all those cooks to teach those of us who grew up with minimalist cooking or with no cooking at all.
The in-jokes would be ferocious.
Ditto. If I didn’t read the SDMB, I would have to come up with a new way to take longer.
What a cruel, cruel office place this would be! 
We’d learn them sissy “Myth Busters” fellers a thing or two!
I’m in for R&D - There wouldn’t be a cooler job on the planet. Just imagine the “101 practical and amusing uses for explosives” handbooks we could get to market! And cookbooks too!
Now this is a fantasy worth entertaining!