So, I go to the bathroom, and sitting on the toilet paper dispenser is a print out of http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_158.html .
Obviously there’s a Doper here. I tried to fish out someone I thought was a Doper before, but it failed miserably (with a 1920’s Death Ray reference and everything.
So, how do I pick one of us out of a sea of folks?
At the next meeting, stand up at some moment during someone’s longwinded presentation and shout “Cite?!” while pounding forcefully on the desk with your fist.
The one who doesn’t look at you with this expression → 
, but instead has his head cradled in his hands, shaking with silent laughter…that’s your Doper.
Wrap a hat in aluminum foil, and park it on the highest thing on your desk. If anyone asks, say, “Oh, that? It’s just a fnord joke.” or maybe, “It’s a ceremonial hat for the goat.”
Hm. Well, we have morning meetings, but not everyone would be at them.
I work in a cube farm.
Any more ideas?
Can you get your hands on a radio controlled blimp?
Might not help you find your Doper, of course. But wouldn’t a radio controlled blimp be awesome at a cube farm anyway?
Send an office email asking everyone what “14 k of g in a f p d” stands for and that you’ll have the answer soon. Your doper friend will quickly reveal him/her self and stab you.
I assume this is your work bathroom? If not,
A. You are the doper in your midst.
B. The “sea of folks” is imaginary.
Organize a company potluck.
See who brings pie.
Wouldn’t they have to come back first?
It’s possible they simply read the front page without wandering onto the boards. Why was the SD article sitting on the TP dispenser? It was just left there like a Chick Tract?
Maybe leave an article of your own in the bathroom. I suggest Piss Shiver.
No, organize a company-wide meeting about the Marianas Trench, but keep it to about twenty minutes.
Tripler
Then dress up like you’re a hippie from the 1960s.
You should be able to eliminate candidates who are the opposite gender of you. Does that help much? 
My mom once showed me one of the columns from the archives - she’d found it researching something (can’t remember what now) and she’s most definitely not a Doper. So, it’s possible the column wasn’t left by a Doper. Maybe my mother was in the bathroom at your work.
She could just be throwing people off the scent.
Okay, poor choice of words, considering that I found it in the can.
Where in Detroit do you work? There are at least two dopers (me and another) where I work. You could be a third!
I think there’s only one logical answer here.
LOUNE has a stalker.
One of my vendors used a Cecil article on the effect of water in your gas tank as a cite once. I was THRILLED thinking I had found another Doper in my midst. Alas, he found the cite with a simple Google search. <sigh>
Damn Google anyway. I finally get to be one of the cognoscenti, and what happens? Cecil makes anyone with a laptop and a broadband connection a frickin’ genius!
I hate it when that happens.
Tris
SD citations are ubiquitous. Two or three times just in the last week, I’ve been looking up something on wikipedia (the last time, it was fluoroscopy), and a Straight Dope article has been among the citations.
If this was me, I’d keep on leaving stuff around, just to mess with you…