May the microscopic spiny catfish of the Amazon swim up your pee stream and lodge itself in your urethra.
(Slighly modified from Poppy Z. Brite.)
More of an old style curse but it’s cool
May a thousand vipers bite your brain with the venom of a thousand thousand scorpions and may a thousand thousand thousand demons torment your soul and may a thousand thousand thousand thousand arrows be stuck in your spine and may a thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand fire ants infest your genitalia and may a thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand fiery wolves rape your children and their children and their children until the end of time!
Hmmm, ok the first one is said in frustration at someone who is making trouble.
“May a rabid squirrel nibble your nether regions, while a great dane falls in lust with you and tries to get his way. May you break your big toe just before you have to wear formal clothes/shoes. May you jam both of your index fingers the day before that big contract/assignment (that you haven’t typed yet) is due.”
This next one I have been hurt/angry enough to utter. Long story.
“May you find yourself in an existence where you do not grow or learn ever, and may you know it and desperately want it, and strive hard for it every day, and eternally despair because you can’t achieve it.”
OK, am I the only man who thinks Monica is hot???
This STILL isn’t the forum for creative cursing. The Straight Dope Message Board doesn’t have any such forum. So I’m closing down this thread.
Lynn