"That's why I was holding my nuts"

Let me first set the stage. It is an oppressive 90 degrees at 10:30 pm here in Kent County Delaware. Our central air is working overtime and the house is a little warm. My 2 daughters share a room. The youngest is 6 and the oldest is 11. They come out to ask to have the fan put in their room because it is too warm. We have to move the small chest of drawers to access the outlet so we can plug in the fan. My youngest is standing in front of the chest of drawers. As we (my older daughter and me) move the chest of drawers away from the wall some of the things on the top to fall off. My younger daughter then says, “That’s why I was holding my nuts”. Me, on the inside, :eek: Wah! Is she experiencing some kind of gender confusion, is she making a joke, does she not understand what she just said? So, being the inquisitive father that I am I ask, “What nuts, sweety?” And she shows me her ceramic squirl that she has named Nuts. Phew! I was relieved and amused and glad I didn’t have to an anatomy lesson with my 6 year old daughter at 10:30 at night. Just thought I’d share that little bit of parental humor. It has been my experience that parents would make the best stand up comics because we don’t have to write our own jokes, we just tell true stories about our kids. :smiley:

And of course, you must repeat this story when she starts bringing boyfriends over.
:smiley:

Oh, dear, that’s cute.

That reminds me of when… well, I would have been approximately the same age as your oldest daughter, and my little brother about the same age as your youngest. My father, lover of all candy tart and sour, had just bought a box of Nerds. Apparently, they had something new on the market at the time: Jumbo Nerds. I was happily doodling away at my desk in my bedroom, when suddenly I hear my baby brother’s excited knocking on the door.

“STASIA!” he cries. “Quick! Come out here and look at the size of Dad’s Nerds!”

Even at 11 I could appreciate a dirty joke - I laughed my head off, but I certainly wouldn’t come out of the bedroom.

L’il bro was confused and frustrated with all the laughter. Poor kid.

You have cleared up one of life’s mysteries for me. I had a great aunt named Stasia, but I never made the connection to Anastasia until now (I always assumed her name was spelled Stacia.) Thanks.

Hee hee…evil.

Oh, I clearly intend on storing this little tidbit of information and many others for future use. So, any other parents got funny stories about their kids?

Last week I was reading a book to my six year old son called “It’s Not the Stork” because he’s been asking all sorts of detailed questions. So we get to body parts and he asks what ‘scrotum’ means. I say “It’s the thing that hangs down behind your penis” and he says “oooohhhh. You mean the sack my balls are in?”

I tried so hard not to laugh at my baby saying ‘balls’ - I could not. Especially when he added: “Man, I love holding my balls.”

A discussion about what we do in public vs. private followed immediately.

I just got back from a vacation with 31 of my husband’s relatives. We were eating dinner when one of my not-so-genteel cousins described his intestinal illness as pissing out of his ass..

Another cousin, 8 years old, responded with awe, ‘‘You can do that?’’

This one was overheard at a restaurant. My wife and I were sitting there waiting for our orders when a family of four (Mom, Dad, two boys probably around 4 and 6) came in and were seated in the booth behind us. Our food arrived and we started eating, and the family was having a quite conversation. The two boys were very well behaved, not running around or screaming or whining. At some point, as often happens, it became very quiet in the restaurant for no particular reason. And of course, that’s when the older boy decided to speak up (in a nice “indoor” voice that was just loud enough for us to hear) and say, “Tell us the story about the sperm and the egg again.” It was all we could do to keep from spewing food all across our table in laughter, but there wasn’t much from the other booth until one of the parents caught their breath and was able to quickly change the subject to very different story. We didn’t actually laugh until we finished dinner and got out the door, but I would have loved to have seen the parents’ faces when that story request came out.

Well yes, but you can’t aim well…