It’s that time again, when Americans whine about a soulless, overpriced, glitzy corporate spectacle while watching every second of it! 
(I wasn’t in a good state Thursday…too many aches, too many frustrations…which is why waited until today to watch it.) All right, before anything, let’s take a look at the one supreme ironclad factor which decides whether NBC’s broadcast will be even marginally tolerable. Deep breaths…
[Light but distinct shadows on the walls. Sky is bright white, probably haze. Street is dry as a bone.]
WOO HOO! WE’RE SAAAAAVED!!! 
The is the 99th year of the parade, which I guess means that it’s going to be a party of some kind and very old Whopper commercials and that one football player nobody remembers! 
We begin with Cynthia Erivo, a “diva” soul singer who does that scale warbling thing that’s like nails on a chalkboard when done by an amateur, but from her…okay, it’s still a little annoying. Fortunately the music picks up and the song becomes serviceable. It’s about a new day and a new life, a highly appropriate sentiment in 2025.
Scroll past a few band members and a bunch of ladies thickly covered everywhere except 4 inches above the knee downward (priorities! 
), one holding the Official Novelty Oversized Scissors for cutting the Official Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Starting Tape. Erivo nonchalantly does the honors.
Question: Does anyone really get upset about not knowing any of the artists named in the intros? Because 1. If you don’t follow recent mainstream pop trends, any big mainstream spectacle (particularly on a big national cable network) is going to be out of your wheelhouse, and 2. if it bothers you that much, why not just…y’know…LOOK THEM UP?? Seriously, did a lot of people just forget that the Internet exists?
Cheery introduction with hosts Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb, assisted by energetic sideline rover Al Roker. Early shot of Dora The Explorer, who is apparently a Haruhi Suzumiya-style unwitting goddess whose powers include teleportation, surviving sub-freezing temperatures, and commanding hardened criminals to desist. I’ll admit that I don’t know much about her.
Face-to-face with Erivo, star of Wicked: For Good, and… I’d best just defer to him. There’s also an upcoming NBC Christmas special and I still find it amazing how these incredibly specific one-note characters can became white-hot properties. Could you imagine a big franchise being built around Ursula, Gaston, or Yzma?
“Parade superfan” Sean Evans with a bit of trivia: The parade used to be strictly for Christmas, but it picked up Thanksgiving, and over time that part just kept growing. See, some things do improve over time!
The parade proper begins with the cast of Buena Vista Social Club. I didn’t follow Guthrie and Kotb’s description, but it’s apparently about a Cuban singer who’s so famous that no one feels any compunction to TRANSLATE…oh, the narration is in English. Eh. Dancers have a bunch of stuff to work around…props, a singer, a guitarist…and it’s nice that they were able to pull it off without a mishap. 
(Loose shorts under the dresses; I think bloomers would’ve fit the style better, but whatevs.) Brief shots of a cartoon dog and the Jolly Green Giant as they cut to commercial. Shot of a shiny yellow turkey with similarly-dressed dancers as they return.
The Rockettes! (They were the leg gals at the beginning, BTW.) Director/Choreographer Julie Branam is herself a former Rockette and yeah, you’d better believe she’s living the dream. The squad is celebrating their 100th anniversary this year, so this parade is an even bigger deal. And there’s…a cute 7-year-old girl who will most likely get into something completely unrelated to the Rockettes, and PLEASE let it not be American Ninja Warrior. 
Another glimpse of DTE.
Evans informs us that it takes 18 months to create the floats…wait a minute, it started well before the previous parade?? 
Now THAT takes some long term dedication you don’t see in very many sectors in America!
The cast of Ragtime, set at the turn of the century, which means that we’ll be seeing stuff about boy bands and 9/11 and a gazillion teratons of hype about a video game system 99.9999% of the country can’t even preorder…oh, sorry, the PREVIOUS century. A black couple in highly conservative outfits does a typically belty dramatic number before other similarly drab actors get in line and do a big chorus. 
Not sure how big a market there is for this in 2025, but break a leg, I guess. Shot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles going to commercials.
A group of colorful clowns marches by before DTE makes her official entrance, and then a quick cut to one of the cast of K-Pop Demon Hunters. All right, here’s how hard it is for me to follow pop culture now. This Korean cartoon movie is released, I don’t remember seeing a single ad of any kind for it anywhere, the first time I hear about it at all is when someone asks MovieBob when he’s going to review it, it’s not in theaters, it’s not on YouTube, it’s not on DVD, and my only exposure to it at all is a couple of songs on the radio…and it’s (apparently) the whitest-hottest thing since The Avengers. 
Geez, it took me like six months to figure out what BTS was, could someone help me out a bit here?
Cast of Just In Time, and immediately I’m treated to a Tony Bennett impression. 
Seriously…why, when the seemingly endless nightmare of the Baby Boomers’ tyrannical demented death grip on our national conscious (four words: Beatles miniseries in 2021 ) is finally, finally starting to end, is America’s biggest theater community stranded in black and white TV-land? Like, could someone start getting nostalgic about the 80’s, the earliest time I actually have living memories of? Holy crap, <<Mack. The. Knife.>> 
MOVING ON!
One reassuring motorcycle cop convoy later, Tom Turkey enters the scene led by a red-clad cheer squad. Then Big Brothers Big Sisters, and I honestly don’t remember what they actually do, but I haven’t heard of any scandals, so keep up the good work! 
Nali Northern Arizona Lumberjack Marching Band. Don’t recognize the song, but it’s cheerful enough to wash the horrible taste of Mack The Knife out of my mouth. All clear again. 
Mario. I won’t hash over all the seismic crap that’s happened at Nintendo after one person died (seriously that’s what it took to turn a beloved child-friendly company into just another soulless ravenous corporate blob of greed, lawsuits, and moronic decisions), but I gotta ask…why not go with Wario? Not only is he a far more accurate representation of the company in its present state, he’s an amazingly popular and long-lived character in his own right! Seriously, I think it’s long past time Wario got his due. Shot of the Once Piece kid going to commercial.
Shot of what I’m presuming is this year’s Spirit of America crew (hundreds of young ladies marching in formation in matching shiny outfits, gotta be) following Snoopy. Shots of Bluey, that J-Pop Demon Hunters cat thing, and a cute bear.
Circus Vasquez doing their thing to What’s Up. I’m not a fan of 4 Non Blondes, but they were never overplayed enough to get irritating, so I give them a pass. If you’ve watched America’s Got Talent, you’ve seen stuff like this. Pretty short, but it’s a nice visual spectacle. I was especially impressed that that two bikers in the tiny sphere were able to avoid hitting each other. All the women had on sensible shoes, another plus.
As DTE passes the announce booth, we have a song number by Luisa Sonza (Luisa Mannequin), in Spanish, zero translation or even context offered, and needless to say this is getting seriously annoying. I actually took the time to look up “La Bamba lyrics” and finally slay that 4 decade old dragon just so I could put some damn points on the board. All in all not too bad; might’ve liked it better if Dora actually was a part of it.
The Panamanian contingent with the marching band of…hold on a sec…Centro Educativo Bilingue La Primavera, which means…wait, wait! [goes to Babelfish] [finds out it requires a goddam subscription now] …rrrg… [downloads Google Translate on my Samsung Galaxy Tab A9+ I haven’t talked about nearly enough, punches letters into not-very-convenient virtual keyboard] “Spring Bilingual Education Center”. 
Song is suitably peppy.
Kalahari Resorts with their aquatic elephant, and Sierra with Low. Never heard of her, of course, but pop is pop. Reminds me of Mariah Carey, if that helps any.
Spongebob Squarepants. What amazes me about this goofy children’s property is how many lines it’s crossed. Both Moviebob and UrinatingTree have repeatedly referenced it, just to put it in perspective. It’s like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, except not hideously disgusting. Trivia: He’s the first ever balloon in the Parade with flat sides.
Sesame Street. Something about the current jazzed-up theme song rubs me the wrong way, and I find Elmo largely incomprehensible, so skipping this part.
Macy’s Great American Marching Band, which apparently means it’s halftime! (Bad joke, I know. Dunno what to say about them.)
The wimpy Diary of a Wimpy Kid kid. Mostly I’m interested in who’s steering that hunk of cheese that does not appear to have anything whatsoever to look out of.
The Farmer’s Dog, a hot dog mascot that’s a…dog. I don’t actually know what goes into hot dogs, so lame obvious joke averted. You’re welcome.
The Jolly Green Giant, as always driving home the importance of canned and frozen vegetables, which don’t risk spoiling like fresh (the hosts forgot that little detail ). Riding along is Russell Dickerson with Happen to Me, a country song aiming for “somewhat sappy”.
Disney Cruise Lines. Uggh…given that the Disney empire is unfathomably massive right now and has a gazillion characters, I really don’t see why they need to trot out the damn chipmunk-voiced vermin every time. Dance number…and…no, I’m sorry, oldschool Disney villains as fun protagonists does not work. It’s like trying to eat soup with a drill. If Disney is so enamored with the idea of the bad guy hero, why not make antiheroes out of whole cloth so they don’t have any pure evil baggage? Wario works because he was never all that sinister to begin with, and his motives were vague enough that it was easier to take a lighter route with him.
Spider-Man, a famous, tremendously powerful, incredibly renowned and accomplished hero and at the same time a miserable pathetic schmuck who never catches a break. It just struck me how truly incredible it is that Marvel’s been able to hit that balance for so long. Following quickly is the Temple University Diamond Marching Band playing Fall Out Boy’s Love From The Other Side. Oh, hey, cheerleaders, cool!
GoBowling, with the wooden bowling doll Penelope and a bunch of actors in pin costumes who thankfully don’t have to sell it this time. Then Stuart, one of the one-eyed Minions. No doubt a giant incoherent spastic moron looming over New York is hitting way too close to…never mind. 
“Pop Mart”, a…hold on… [looks it up] Chinese-owned stuffed toy company. 
Quick shot of another big group of young women in matching blue uniforms with pom-poms and…okay, I admit it that it’s unlikely that the Spirit of America crew actually changes uniforms right in the middle of the street in broad daylight in front of hundreds of spectators and millions of viewers on national television, YouTube, and a plethora of social media platforms, but they are very clearly wearing something completely different at the end than the beginning, so…are they split up into two groups? And if so, just how many are there? This is pretty awesome, no doubt, but I imagine it must be a bit crushing to be the one who doesn’t make the cut.
Oh, we have an ID for the shiny turkey: The green and gold turkey of JennieO, which specializes in turkeys…that… [looks it up] taste good. 
Shaggy here with Rayvon. Am not listening to that nauseating Juice Newton ripoff again, so skipping.
Damien High School with a passable rendition of That’s Entertainment. Oh, hey, flagberers, cool!
Gabby’s Dollhouse, featuring a big-eyed brown-skinned girl holding a big-eyed gray cat. I don’t get Netflix, so you’re on your own with this one.
Bronx Zoo and some really impressive stilt walkers given that they also have to deal with nonhuman costume attachments. Kool and the Gang here with Celebration. Uhhh…I like this song, but age was not kind to their vocal chords.
Conan Gray, song not IDed, but it’s definitely the girl-swoony variety.
All right, here it comes! Native Pride Productions with the United States of America’s once-a-year sole acknowledgement of the existence of First Nations peoples outside of some rodeo events! Aside: I think it’s way cool that I’ve never seen these people targeted by heckling, hatred, abuse, or any of the crimes so frequently aimed at just about any minority group you could name in this country, because let’s be serious, if a bunch of slimeballs were to target them with hate crimes, what could they do? They have no political power, no big names, no money, no clout, no prestige. No way in hell can they afford lawyers or publicists. Trying to make a police report is going to get them laughed out of town. Protests will be met with beatings. Retaliation of any stripe is likely a death sentence. There is no obligation of any kind to respectfully observe what, frankly, has to look like a very weird and silly performance to nearly everyone watching. And yet they do. Like I said, way cool. 
Ram, the official at-least-it’s-not-the-Cybertruck of the parade. 
Holland America Line, whose primary appeal apparently being able to see wolves and bears without risking getting attacked by them, and on board is Jewel with You Were Meant For Me. I’m not 100% sure, but I think she was part of the “grrl” militant female singer vanguard of the 90’s…they were the primary reason the Lilith Fair existed, as I recall. Still got it, at any rate. 
Smokey The Bear. For a long time I considered him a relic, but based on recent history, yeah, preventing forest fires should definitely be a priority in this country.
Peanuts: Charlie, Linus, and Lucy in a float and Snoopy and Woodstock up above. I honestly wonder how many people still remember the origins of this, much less where the name comes from (it derives from “peanut gallery”, and Charles Schulz rightfully hated it).
Finally, the Spirit of America Dance Stars! (With zero preview or announcement, but who’s counting?) A great swarming mass of loveliness, power, speed, grace, and coordination, in matching silver minidresses and various colored athletic shorts. (The same as in the high school cheerleading competitions I recorded this year, I noticed. It sucks that this country can’t be cool with cheer briefs [or anything else, for that matter] anymore, but whaddya gonna do?) Any year, any incarnation, any weather, they never fail to impress. I could watch them for an hour. 
A demogorgon that burst out of its cage, which is certainly an unusual choice for this parade, I’ll give it that. Oh, uh, Stranger Things, another Netflix thingy. And here’s Foreigner with Cold As Ice. They seem in better shape than Kool and the Gang.
Pac-Man. That’s right, Roker, you don’t need quarters! What you need is a debit card, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT ARCADES HAVE BEEN USING FOR LIKE THE PAST 20 YEARS YOU BRAINLESS RRRGRGRLBRLLL 
Sorry, but that always touches a nerve with me.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I don’t even think there’s any point in anymore in comparing the different series, different styles, different characterizations, what they’re supposed to represent, etc.. They just are. (For the record, the theme song still slaps! ) Riding along is Busta Rhymes with…complex poetry recitation, take it or leave it.
The Paw Patrol dalmatian. Brief shot of Shrek going to commercial.
New York art school students in all back with yellow hats who are going to be in A Chorus Line: The Next Generation. Can say if they’re any good, but it’s good that there are still places that appreciate art school.
Buzz Lightyear, a prominent face of a movie studio that most definitely is going to infinity and beyond. 
Toys R Us, which somehow still exists. On board is Little John regaling us with some more poetry recitation, except shoutier.
Goku, the anime character who’s become an icon here. Then the University of North Alabama Marching…”Pride”? This a lion thing? Yow, those bandleaders! 
And now, Goldfish, the SMALLEST FLOAT EVER…which…is really freaking slow…and…what’s the point again? 
A sailing ship (didn’t get what it was about), and on deck is Mr. Fantasy with even more poetry reci 
Evidence dance company doing some pretty tough maneuvers in those dresses! Monkey D Luffy from One Piece, another unlikely anime fixture.
The Peacock Peacock, and if you found anything on that service worth a dang, more power to you. Here’s Teyana Taylor with Made It. About time we got some honest R&B here.
The Pasta Knight, mascot of a pasta company called Raos. Riding high is Mateo Bocelli with Caruso. It’s untranslated Italian, but I’m too tired to care at this point. Pretty voice, anyway!
In order: Shrek and that donkey, Haribo (a yellow gummi bear), and the Alcorn State University Sounds of Dy-No-Mite (sp?). September is an…interesting choice. 
All right, they’re at the Eternal Baby Boomer Hegemony Music part now, so I’ll end this with the K-Pop Demon Hunters singers, EJAE, Audrey Nuna and, REI AMI (all capitalizations theirs). They’re great singers, no question, and it’s always impressive when any Eastern singer can handle English so adeptly. Maybe if I hadn’t already heard this song so many times on Star 101.9, I’d appreciate it more. Also help if they’d do, y’know, the whole song. Nonetheless, they’re hot and a big city got to see why. Good vibes.
Well, it took a while to get going, but aside from the usual minor irritations, this was another pretty good show! Between the marathon and this, it’s reassuring to know that despite everything, New Yorkers still know how to get together and have a good time. That’s always reassuring.
I knew he’d be kicking off the parade with her, so I made sure to tune in early: it was very cool to see (and hear!) him on TV.
) is also selling out every show. But your uninformed disdain is noted.