The 5 Talk Show Scenarios

Cafe Society
1

This summer I’ve watched little TV, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to find something interesting on the boobtube every now and then. Some talk shows are fairly interesting to me, but a few (The Maury, Jenny, Jerry, etc. variety) seem to have one of only 5 scenarios that they offer variations of all week long–every time I hit the “Info” button on the remote, it’s always:

  1. Sharing shocking/sexy secrets
  2. Sending a teen to boot camp and/or out of control teen
  3. Lie detector test results
  4. DNA test results
  5. Follow up shows on those appearing in forms of #1-4.

Any others I’m missing?

[sub]gotta say it makes me proud how LITTLE TV I’m watching…[/sub]

2

Makeovers.

3

Adopted/abandoned kids reunited with biological parents.

4

Reunions with missing relatives or long lost loves is big too

5

Look how much sexier I am now than I was in high school/eat your heart out mean high school person that didn’t give me the time of day back then, who barely remembers me from then, but whom I can’t stop obsessing over even 10 years later.

6

shelbo, my hubby mentioned that one as soon as I read him the thread (“I’m fat and now I’m all that” falls in that category, too). And who can forget reunions and makeovers?

So…that makes 8 different scenarios. Of course, the Oprahs, Montels, and Dr. Phils have the extraordinary survival stories, the interviews, the heroic efforts, and other such fare. But that’s far too respectable for the Maury/Ricky/Jenny crowd I’m referring to here (Sally Jesse Raphael’s show fell in this category, too, before mercifully going away.)

7

What would be cool would be if you could combine them all into one e pisode. “I want to tell my husband about the out of control teenager I gave up for adoption when I was fat then be reunited with the kid and send him to boot camp to get a makeover after first seeing if you’re his real Daddy and by the way I think you’re cheating so please take this lie detector test”, on the next Maury.

In decades past it was past life regressions, drugged up C List actors talking about their pain and pathetically struggling for a comeback, and “I wanna be a star” talent type shows. With the success of QUEER EYE, expect makeovers, makeovers, and more makeovers in the near future.

8

I’ve seen more than one where the topic was “Guess if this person is a man or a woman”. On the show, they probably had a really cool catchy title that rhymed.

9

Three “nazis” or “KKK” members with five teeth between them, shouting insults to the audience and host - ending in thrown chairs…

(Maury Povich mainly) cute and cuddly animals that bite Jack Hanna’s nutsack…

10

No matter what the premise, of course, it must be made clear that the audience has, at best, a limited understanding of the issues involved.

Typically, this is expressed by a guest shouting “Y’all don’t know me!!”