Depends on what mood Tootsie and her father are in.
Is frozen bread bad for you?
Sorry, what did you say? I wasn’t listening.
Only as much as frozen beer.
What is the meaning of this?
There is no meaning - just several red telephones on the desk.
Why is one of the red phones ringing?
That’s its way of telling you it wants to be blue. Navy, to be precise.
How come the money isn’t here yet?
The check is in the mail.
Will you respect me in the morning?
I won’t even know you in the morning. Cabfare is on the dresser.
Why can’t Mick Jagger get any satisfaction?
He’s a perfectionist.
Should I make more coffee?
Definitely not. Coffee is smelly, disgusting, unhealthy, the sweat of a thousand souls condemned to Hell, the urine dripping from Satan’s maggot-infested member.
Where do I go - follow the river?
Where do I go - follow the gulls?
Where is the something, where is the someone, who tell me why I live and die?
Newark, NJ.
Shall I take up professional ballroom dancing for fun and/or profit?
Perhaps. Are those “10 cents a dance” places making a comeback?
Should I buy boxers or briefs next time?
Pay no heed to the tyranny of drawers. Freeballin’s the only way to go.
Where have all the flowers gone?
Same place all the young men have.
Can I stop now?
Yes, but then you’ll regret it.
Why is it so frickin’ beautiful out?
It’s due to good meteorlogical conditions.
What have I done to deserve this?
You know! Ohhh Yessss, you know.
But, does anyone one else know?
Other than the BBC, almost no-one.
Which is crunchier, a GIF or a JPEG?
BMP all the way. With mustard, for preference.
Does this make any sense?
No, I’m afraid not. I lost you when you tried to equate MPG and flatulence. But perhaps that’s my fault for not grokking the connection.
Tastes great or less filling?
Tastes filling, less great.
Why does Steven Spielburg have so much money?
Royalties on the Lightsabre kid mpgs on the web.
Who would be the worst Pope?
PT