You were going to ask if you can buy axes online. I think you can, but you have to be willing to pay, a lot. 
Why do I watch the same reruns over and over and over again when there are other things on?
Because it’s always the same tired formulaic crap anyway, so what does it matter?
What’s the best cure for procrastination?
Wait for a pill to come out
How am I to get myself a glass or milk when I hav eno cups?
Pour the milk into the album cover and wait for the fizzing to stop.
How can I get these mice out of my apartment?
Surrender to the mice. Resistence is futile.
What shall I do with five tons of commodity-grade peanut butter?
Fill in all those potholes on Dundas Street.
How can my bank account run out of money when I still have cheques?
It’s obviously stupidity on the part of the bank. Switch banks now.
What’s that horrible squeaky noise I hear outside my bedroom window?
It can’t. Spend freely, my friend.
When will the cramping stop?
Daithi Lacha
When you ask swampy to loosen the bindings he put you in to stomp the horrible squeaky noise.
Where can I get $10,000,000.0 discretionary income to by pictures online?
It depends on the pictures.
Will I ever be able to afford a car?
Sure you will. The quality , on the other hand, is questionable.
How do I stop a man from following me in public?
Move to a private location. He will be able to follow you without difficulty there.
Why does helium have so many superfluid states?
“The superfluidity of liquid helium is apparently due to the weakness of the attractive force between two helium atoms and to the small atomic mass, which according to laws of quantum mechanics make the atoms difficult to *localize. One interesting difference between helium-4 and helium-3 is that the helium-4 atom, with two protons, two neutrons, two electrons, and an *intrinsic spin of 0, is subject to *Bose-Einstein statistics, while the helium-3 atom, with two protons, one neutron, two electrons, and an intrinsic spin of 1/2, is subject to *Fermi-Dirac statistics.”
I think.
What’s your favorite pick-up line?
Being the simplest nobel gas, if it didn’t have many superfluid states it would be just too boring to exist.
What should I do with the bodies of the dead FBI agents?
“Do you want a sweety?”
What should I do with the dead FBI agents, they are starting to go off?
Pack them in a soundproof box. That way you won’t be able to hear the alarms.
It’s spring here in Toronto. How can I best lose weight so I can impress the female beach volleyball players at Ashbridge’s Bay in August?
No matter what you do all the women will point and laugh. Give up and wear long pants and long sleeves all year round.
How many miles (or kilometers) can I get on a tank of gas?
None, and it tastes terrible. Your car probably gets about 20.
How can I make sure my weigh-in goes well tomorrow?
Measure the miles (or kilometer’s ) arses, divide into the the area of the tank that the gas is in. I leave the math to the student as an exercise.
How do I keep ants out of the kitchen?
Hold 500 helium balloons when you step on the scale.
Again, how do I keep ants out of my kitchen?