True, but humor is largely based on what people find scary. Having a switch implanted in your nether-regions is rather scary to people and laughing at it is what people do to dispell that fear. I’m sure that in real life after a week of having one you would rarely even think about it, but so it goes.
[QUOTE=Sage Rat]
I think they’re more making fun of the name of the product, not the product itself. “Acticon Neosphincter” is just fun to say.
[/QUOTE]
Especially if you say it like Fire Marshal Bill. Go ahead - draw up your lips and enunciate it like he does: “Acti-Con Neo-Sphincter”!
[QUOTE=toadbriar]
I’d want mine to make cool Star Trek door opening sounds.
[/QUOTE]
Exactly what I was thinking. If we tire of that we can always switch to Get Smart.
[QUOTE=lieu]
Exactly what I was thinking. If we tire of that we can always switch to Get Smart.
[/QUOTE]
It might clash with the ‘Transporter.wav’ that plays when he flushes though.
There’s always that photon torpedo sound effect for those harder stool evacuations complete with Chekov’s “Got him, Sir…!” and TOS trumpet score playing when the ceiling fan is engaged. 
Now I hear Kirk:
“Can’t…reach…scrotum. Must…take…shit!”
“Scotty! Activate Acticon Neosphincter… NOW! SCOTTY! NOW! Full power!”
“I’m giving all I’ve got, Captain! She can’t take this kind of pressure much longer or the seals will start to leak by. If that happens, you can just kiss your uniform goodbye.”
Get hard on -shit your pants. Mood breaking.
Acticon Neosphicter! Apply directly to the bunghole!
Acticon Neosphicter! Apply directly to the bunghole!
Acticon Neosphicter! Apply directly to the bunghole!
“The 600 series had rubber skin; we spotted them easy. But these are new. Acticon Systems Model 101. Underneath it’s a hyperalloy combat chassis, microprocessor controlled… fully armored, very tough. Outside, it’s living human tissue.”
“Just let me go–”
“LISTEN! And understand! That thing is out there! It can’t be bargained with; it can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop– ever-- until you are dead!”
–Defecator III: Rise of the NeoSphincter
I wanna change my user name to…
(movie announcer guy voice)
Acticon Neosphincter
Well not really, I don’t but it sounds so much cooler than pimaspinner. Go ahead say it in your head like the movie announcer guy.
I wonder if it comes with a free copy of How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
(emphasis mine)
If you install the Acticon Neopsphincter™™* the wrong way, will you urinate out your anus and defecate out your penis? That would be a sight to see- in more ways than one.
[sub]*A name this good deserves two trademark symbols.[/sub]
[QUOTE=mobo85]
(emphasis mine)
If you install the Acticon Neopsphincter™™* the wrong way, will you urinate out your anus and defecate out your penis? That would be a sight to see- in more ways than one.
[/QUOTE]
Your penis would be trailing a long, spaghetti-like poop thread. Like a goldfish.
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
Action NeoSphincter would be only one of a diverse range of different NeoSphincters, available to suit your personal lifestyle.
Action Neosphincter, for busy people who never seem to sit down
Travel NeoSphincter, for people who are always on the go
Sports NeoSphincter, for people who run all the time
Aqua Neosphincter, for when you have to take the kids to the pool…
[/QUOTE]
aren’t they all for dropping the kids off at the pool?
[QUOTE=Derleth]
Hey, at least it isn’t Bluetooth enabled.
[/QUOTE]
How about the Clapper?
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
How about the Clapper?
[/QUOTE]
[jose jimenez] Oh I hope not..[/jj]
I’m sure Neosphincter was the Acticon that killed Optimus Prime.
(but then IIRC the whole world and his dog killed Optimus Prime, repeatedly.)
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
How about the Clapper?
[/QUOTE]
Well, maybe not a Clapper, but it should come with a remote. All good toys come with remotes. I mean, why reach down, dig around and have to mess with the 'scrote when you can just Press A for Anusflex or B for Buttloosen?