Yes, this is yet another penile enlargement ad thread, but this just can’t leave my mind. It’s sort of poetic but then again non-poetic. It is so very, very stupid, yet at the same time, in it’s way, brilliant. It just so capsulates… the something… of penile enlargement ads.
Also, is there really a point in having a dick so huge it makes people sick?
Uhh… got a link there, buddy?
It’s not that I’m interested in making my dick bigger or anything - y’know - it’s so we can all laugh at the ad. Yeah, that’s it…
Why do you need a huge penis to make girls sick? My anthrax sperm does the job nicely!!!
I think it’s a pretty rhyme.
The ones that always make me laugh are the “Penile Curvature Correction” ads. Listen, buddy, my dick could be the shape of a pretzel–I’m still not gonna let you come near it with anything sharp.
Yeah, I got that one, too, and I realized alot of people probably would get pretty sick if they saw a huge dick on my decidedly female body. Including me.
(singing)
I know all there is to know…
About The Crying Game…
Not a link, just a hint…
Put “increase penis size naturally in 30 days” into Google and go with Hit #1. It’s the “exercise” ad, not the “Viagra” ad. No dirty pix, just a couple of rather dull 6th grade science textbook-type illustrations–UNTIL you get to page 5… [ :eek: geez] Evidently somebody got Adobe Photoshop for Christmas… Those aren’t real, are they? They gotta be plastic.
Page 6 has an interesting picture of a vacuum pump in operation–guys DO that? Jeepers…
This week’s Uninintentional Humor Prize goes to whoever wrote this, on page 3:
Yeah, right, Einstein, people have waded all the way through this to page 3 and they STILL don’t think they need a bigger penis. You just can’t tell some people anything, can you?
Runner-Up, from page 4:
No comment. I mean, absolutely no comment.
I get a lot spam about improving both the quality and quantity of my semen. There’s one I’ve been getting recently that touts “Improve the flavor of your sperm!” I used to get another that said “Increase your ejaculate my 584 percent!”.
Maybe I should use both products and open an ‘Orange Julius’ in my balls.
Actually, this could be a way to get back at the folks that came up with the x-ray strip-search for airports device. I WOULD want to make the airport screeners get dyspeptic at the idea of me being able to walk with all that hangdown.
Although there is a significant market for people who enjoy that particular fetish.
Oh, ye of little faith. You’d be surprised how large a human’s penis can really get.
[bullshit machismo ON]
Take me, for example… SPOOFE Jr. is so big I can’t keep him in my pants. I have to wrap him around my waist to keep him from dragging on the ground.
[bullshit machismo OFF]
It’s true!! SPOOFE got an erection once, sliced himself in two!!! Luckily, the women that caused the erection was a surgeon, saved his life!
Sig line! (similar to ‘band name!’)
Those pictures…:eek:
It’s no wonder they only have testimonials from men on that site, because if they had ones from women, they’d never sell a single one of their product. Not that I think it really works, but still…any guy with a pecker that size is going to be enjoying it all by himself, because every woman I know is going to run screaming after seeing that thing.
I have not laughed that hard at a post in ages. Tears down the face, my friend. Awesome.
And this thread title is great, too. I got that spam once and couldn’t stop laughing at it. Marketing genius, I tell ya!
Zette
My favourite was the one that said “YOUR DICK SO BIG PEOPLE WILL THINK IT’S A THIRD LEG!”
It occurred to me that there is nothing I would hate more than to have a dick so big people would think it was a third leg. I’d have to alter my pants, for one thing, and every time I got a hard on I’d either pole vault or pass out.
Well, that certainly puts a whole new spin on the phrase, “soda jerk.”
Those cutaway drawings on pages 3 and 4 started a conversation between my husband and I about Lorena Bobette.
We should all try our hands at penal enlargement ad copy writing. (or, we could leave out the last three words in the previous sentence and do something really productive). We could become hundredaires!
A Penis So Large You’ll Need A Wheelbarrow To Walk!
A Shlong Sp Long You Could Use It As A Q-tip!
A Pecker Of Such Porportions You’ll Need To Pee From A Plane!
Make People Trip With Your Trailing Dick!
P. Fucking. erfect.
YOUR DICK SO HUGE WHALES ARE ENVIOUS!
A penis so long you can get vaginal and oral sex at the same time!
(Think about it for a second…)