Excellent. 
Looking at those pictures, the only thing that runs through my mind is “No way I am getting on the receiving end of that one.” Somehow I think sex is much more enjoyable when you don’t feel like a pig roasting on a spike…
Originally posted by matt_mcl
It occurred to me that there is nothing I would hate more than to have a dick so big people would think it was a third leg. I’d have to alter my pants, for one thing, and every time I got a hard on I’d either pole vault or pass out.
This had me snorting and hacking and wheezing. Thank you, matt_mcl. Thank you very much.
Your Dick So Huge, It Can Be Your Dance Partner!
Duck Duck Goose, I found the page you were talking about.
:eek:
I’m gonna have nightmares tonight…
Oooh, my GAWD !!!
The guy in the picture must have a good dental plan, because every time he flexes his kegal muscle, he has a good chance of knocking his own teeth out !!
What is this guy going to do with it ?
Have sex with elephants ?
Anyone can make people sick with their huge dick. Me, I’ve worked it out so that when I cum, I shoot reruns of Mama’s Family. People are either sick with excess ennui or vaguely amused for no reason they can consciously discern. Actually, now that I think about it, I have that same affect on people even in platonic situations.
“Do Women Mock Your Rock-Hard Cock? Meet Doc Jacques and His Extensive Stock!”
A penis so large you need a license to operate heavy machinery
before you have sex!
A shlong so big your balls will dial 10-10-321 when they call the tip!
A dick so big you’ll need a fishing license to take a sperm sample!
A wiener so huge they’ll be a show on FOX called “When your penis attacks!”
A tallywhacker so gargantuan the US Dept of Justice will try to break it up into smaller dicks!
Say ‘So Long’ To Your Tiny Dong!
A dick so big that it’ll get its own movie contract based on the attention it draws alone!
A boner so massive that you can have sex with someone in Cleveland while you’re still in Orlando!
A willy so humongous, you’ll call it your William Shakespeare!
A tool so long that NASA places their space probes on the tip just before you ejaculate!
I can only really think of one way to make people sick with a large dick. It involves the gag reflex.
Ho-hum.
pan
On the page with the pictures of big shiny cocks is this text
Wish they’d left them as they were. “Hello I am have really big cock with ur product u R grate K thx bye” “U R l33t c0XX0rs!!! heh heh ps my gf says owie” “I didnt have small penis before or anything but now its really big and stuff so yeah thanks” “they used to call me dude wheres yuor penis now they worship my knob as a god first church of my massive penis alright!!!”
Tansu, if I were into sig lines then “U R l33t c0XX0rs!!!” would be high high on my list.
Thankyou.
pan
I almost passed out trying not to wake up my roommates with my laughing. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week!
The email I’m getting continually bombarded with is:
JLO with miniskirt minus pair of panties!!!
Has to be foreign. It’s a funny way of saying it. It has sort of a “All your JLO panties are belong to us now” quality.
They must know I don’t need any further help with having a dick that makes people sick.
Uh, wait. Let me rephrase that …
Turn your Dick into a Cash Cow!
I can’t believe it’s a dick!
On a different note, I just got an E-mail telling me how to increase my vaginal muscle strength…
Your snapper so powerful it snips off dicks like string beans!!!
If SPOOFE were to have a vagina, that’s the kind he’d get, I feel sure.
I get floods of debt solution spam. They must think I’m too broke to pay for a bigger penis or tighter vagina.
Gee Your Dick Smells Terrific!