Can you say “control freak”?
Well, that promises to be a fun family gathering…
Once again, I really want to know what a “regulation size” casserole dish is…
I’m sure she has posted this information in the past, you need to be an adult and pay attention to these things.
And bring one serving spoon and one wedge-shaped pie server.
Roddy
Probably 3 quarts, though 15 lbs. of mashed spud is a lot, so maybe in that case 4 quarts.
Reading the comments is interesting.
I have [in the 25 years that I have taken over catering the family dinner] never felt stressed out making the entire dinner, and we live almost 400 miles from Mom’s house, and generally get there at 11 or later the night before. A little preparation ahead of time and it is a snap.
I think the letter is bogus, look at what people are asked to bring -
Mike Byron family - turnips in casserole, 2 half gallons ice cream, ice cream toppings, 1 case water
Bob Byron family - either 4 pounds green beans or 5 pounds asparagus, a case of beer or bottle of chardonnay
Lisa Byron - a veggie platter not from the grocery store
Michelle Bobble - vegetarian stuffing, 2.5 - 3 qts mashed squash, prosciutto pinwheel and a pie knife
June Davis - 15 pounds of mashed potato
Amy Misto - an apple and a pumpkin pie
Since pretty much everybody is at minimum a couple, we are looking at a minimum of 14 people plus kids, there is not enough pie, too much mashed potato especially combined with turnips and squash, not enough hors d’oeuvres [veggie platter and pinwheel?!] If you start adding kids, you definitely do not have enough dessert. There are only 16 portions of pie and vanilla ice cream, and half a gallon of some other flavor [not everybody would like peppermint bark ice cream. I personally think it sucks, my roomie loves it.]
And if you notice, no bread products.
I like the bit for the (I’m assuming) newly-married Lisa. “Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.”
What, only married women are worthy of contributing? What about the unmarried adult women? What about the unmarried guys?
We all make something for Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s, and she does send out a list letting everyone know what to bring (so we don’t end up with 5 bowls of sweet potatoes and no green beans or corn), and believe me, my sister can be a world-class bitch at times, but she’s freaking Mother Theresa compared to this woman.
I can’t believe this is my biggest problem with it but…
Why does the Bobble family have to bring a pie knife when it’s the Misto family who are charged with bringing pie? WTF?
One is forced to assume that the Misto family is out of compliance with current pie knife regulations. Poor bastards.
Ah, but remember, Marnie has not stated what she will be providing. Surely not just the turkey, right?
After all, everyone has to bring their own serving spoons, so it is taken for granted that hers will be occupied…
Just two bottles of chardonnay…and that’s if Bob doesn’t want to bring a case of beer?
Where the hell is the Pinot Noir? You gotta get that wretched turnip stench off your palette somehow.
You’re forgetting that Marney herself is going to be contributing something, including the turkey.
No casserole dish, but they do have an official regulation size platter!
I think they need a whole lot more than just one bottle of chardonnay to get through that meal.
I wouldn’t even go. Can you imagine?
"Thanks so much for the [del]orders[/del] invitation. Unfortunately we don’t feel we can measure up to your elegant standards, and will be chowing down on random food served in random dishes at my husband’s family dinner.
Have a great Thanksgiving! 
"
My absolute favorite part is “Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level”.
Don’t know why but it really cracks me up.
Nice thing about going to my mom’s - you can bring something or not as you wish. I’ll be bringing pies, because I’m the only one who bakes pies. My youngest sister *always *brings the rolls - no matter the occasion. It’s become a family joke.
Fortunately, no one would ever think of bringing something with turnips to the table. :eek:
Oh yeah, I liked that part, too - “You can bring the turnips. Since no one likes them, don’t make too much.” Oooo-kay.
That’s because you all were raised right. 
I am so glad that no one in our family brings anything for Thanksgiving dinner. We are all control freaks and it is so much better just to do it ourselves (we rotate hosting).
(Pies are different. All pies are welcome.)
Am I the only one who read that in the voice of Dr. Sheldon Cooper?