The all new Hyperbolic Ion-Encabulator

Many of us are aware of the classic Turbo Encabulator and the more modern Retro Encabulator. But has anyone else seen the Agilent 6495C triple quadrupole LC/MS:

Features include:

  • Ion injector VacShield
  • iFunnel technology
  • Octopole ion guide
  • Hyperbolic quadropole mass filter (allowing only ions of the target analyte to pass)
  • Curved and tapered hexapole collision cell
  • Axial cell acceleration voltage, ensuring fast and sensitive MS/MS without crosstalk effects even at the fastest MRN dwell times
  • Second quadropole mass filter for fragment ions
  • High energy conversion dynode for positive and negative ion detection
  • Jet Stream ionization technology, providing efficient desolvation
  • Hexabore ion injector capillary
  • Dual ion funnel for tight collimation
  • New ion transfer optics for increasing precursor ion transmission
  • Electron multiplier horn
  • Wide linear dynamic range in peptide quantitation

This is a real product from a real company, and they are showing me this video in advertisements before YouTube videos I watch. I feel like they’re targeting the wrong person… but maybe not.

Not only that, but the Hyperbolic Quadrupoles emulate the shape of the Hyperbolic Quadrupole Field.

Has this device been transported back in time from the 23rd century?

It’s got magnets.

Of course! How could I have missed that?

Do you think I can install an electron multiplier horn on my car?

Only if your car has a flux capacitor.

Really, the whole thing could be: See, this part has magnets. And this other part, it has even more magnets. Six? Eight? I don’t remember. But it’s curved, I can see that much.

I believe that Data could have used this device when he made the cellular peptide cake with mint frosting. It could have quantitated his peptides efficiently.

It has to be worth the big bucks if only because they seem to have rid it of the side fumbling.

Reading online reviews, what kind of fancy sophisticated technology doesn’t export properly to PDFs? I’d certainly want my money back.

Software for analysis is very easy to run and provides multiple options. The software dedicated to processing the results (MassHunter) is user friendly and allows comparison of different mass specs at the same time while allowing quantification. Beware that the system does not allow you to trap the ion during the analysis, so selection of targeted ions should be performed again for MS/MS. Only drawback is that exporting the results into PDF files does not work properly when installed in different computers even with required Excel and Windows.

This guy found a good use for it, though.

Agilent QQQ LCMSMS 6495 Online SPE, MasHunter Software the best soft ware in the world, very easy in used, very accurate results, easy automatic autotune, easy compound optimization, very fast services, we used it for easy determination all abused drugs in urine using only 100 URL of urine Great Thanks to Agilent

I think your advertisement profile got crossed with my wife’s :smiley:

Could be a geotag though. Are your neighbors doing plasma proteomics?

It’s applied science and technology based on the theoretical model of Inter-dimensional Physics:

Hmmm. Don’t get one. The newer models feature a Quad ion funnel and a cross multiplier horn system with two tweeters.

To be fair, I was watching a “how to build a cloud chamber” video. Which actually involves ions! But it was more in line with “buy a $2 gel ice pack” as opposed to “acquire a hexabore ion injector capillary.”

I went to their website to get more info out of curiosity, and I was informed that “The 6495C triple quadrupole LC/MS system is the highest performance LC/TQ available, and is ideally suited for peptide quantitation”. Alrighty, then – send me two. Digging for more details, I see that the Agilent 6495C Triple Quadrupole LC/MS “delivers confidence”. Apparently if you have one of these, you become confident and self-assertive and, presumably, women are irresistibly attracted to that sort of fellow. On second thought, please send me three. I’ll use two of them for confidence-building and the third I’ll keep in reserve in case I ever need to do any emergency peptide quantitation.

That sort of ad reminds me of the sort of inexplicable image-building ads like this one from chemical company BASF some years ago. They ran a whole series of these, with the message “we don’t make the products you use; we make the products you use better”. Dave Barry used to get as worked up about these sorts of ads as I did, describing how after watching any of these he would yell at the TV, “OK, I get it. You make chemicals and industrial materials. What do you want from me? For God’s sake, what do you want me to do?”.

When did we stop calling LC/MS/MS what it actually is - and get all lazy, calling it just LC/MS? I mean, it’s obvious that it’s LC/MS/MS because it does quantitation - so why not call it that? Plus at around 2.22 in the commentary they fess up anyway.

Tchoh! Shameful.

(Hey, @Dr.Strangelove - you’re getting my adverts! Half a dozen years too late, though.)

j

Part of the novelty here is learning that quantitation is a real word. Yes, I’ve heard of quantitative analysis from financial circles, but since they make everything else up from whole cloth, it seemed fitting that the name should be fictional as well.

Here, though, the sheer abundance of fancy words has convinced me that quantitation is a real thing after all. And in fact, upon further research I’ve discovered that it is an old word. From the Journal of the Royal Statistical Society, Vol. 51, No. 3 (Sep., 1888), pp. 567-598:

I VENTURE to use this word " quantitation " as one which will be readily understood by the Statistical Society, if not by the outer world. It is among objects of the Society, while remaining unsatisfied with bald facts or conclusions, or classification is, to find out " how much " and to what extent facts are facts, or, in other words, to test the meaning of facts. “Quantitation,” therefore, expresses in one word-which may be an ugly one but is never-the-less a useful word-what we aim at in an investigation before the notice of the Society. (There is the word " quantification," used by writers on logic, including Sir William Hamilton, applied to the predicate. I remember a student of logic calling this word an invention of the enemy for the confusion of the understanding. Precisely because it applies to logic and not to statistical facts, I am disinclined to use it, and it contains one more syllable which, although one more or less among so many may seem to be no matter, is a disadvantage.)

The inventor of the word admits that it is an ugly one, but offers these arguments in this favor, as compared to quantification:

  • Quantification is “an invention of the enemy for the confusion of the understanding”
  • Quantitation has one fewer syllable (with the admission that “one more or less among so many may seem to be no matter”)

All in all, I suppose that “Agilent 6495C Triple Quadrupole Peptide Quantitator” may be a more descriptive name.

Why is the Eye of Sauron in the center of each diagram?

I think you know why, hobbit.

They’re surprisingly cheap.
I had to have the one in my car replaced (apparently it was “adversely affecting my exhaust
emissions”) and it only cost 1200 GBP (incl. labour).

No one has addressed the legal issues surrounding the Turbo Encabulator… until now. Steve Lehto (10 min).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk8_RWO-oIA