The Amazing 2trew Human Rights' Beggars' Banquet Thread!


I am aware my views on the Civil Authorities are fundamentally far from centrist. Because of my years as an old-fashioned City Beat reporter, and several long-standing personal relationships with officers – many of them LAPD and Cincinnati cops – I am somewhat less objective on the subject of police action. And the human costs of inaction.

That said, it is now time to highlight a remarkable find, in General Questions no less, of a person who thinks the police are actually too soft on offenders. A person who would advocate a humiliating – and based on the specs, excruciating – handcuffing of a hypothetical, naked, one-armed suspect.

A DUI? Cuff the bastard! Pot possession? I’ll cuff you and your bong, fuckin’ hop-head! Indecent exposure? Cuff his balls off! Cuff him with a vengeance!

To what, pray tell, might our one-armed naked perp be cuffed, you ask? Why, to his genitals! But don’t take my word for it, please see for yourself:

From General Questions[

My inevitable, and incredulous query, plus his reply:

Nasty naked one-armed suspect. Won’t try that again, I’m certain of it! Cheers to you, 2trew. If only we could spread your Gospel of Acceptable Mistreatment, there might be fewer “frivolous police brutality” lawsuits. Heck, Pit Threads on 400-pound men might simply be needless fluff!
In light of this remarkable achievement, my nominee for the First Annual Idi Awards is our own 2trew!

Uh, hmm. <nervous laugh> That was an applause point.

Ah…uh, well, I’ll be back with more, after some words from The Academy.

I think 2trew was sorta, kinda kidding as the absurdity of the procedure he/she outlined to accomplish this suggests. Is this really pit worthy?

Agreed - I think 2trew’s posting was very much tongue-in-cheek … as were my own thoughts when I had the exact same idea. And I’m not a violent person. :wink:

Hearing a little whoooosh here …

I thought he was referring to something inside. Talk about cruel. :wink:


It’s really an honour just to be nominated for an Idi. I have another proposal which I’ll be submitting next year. It could prove to be a solution to the Irish Question, and I hope it receives the same kind consideration.

[Stirring Oscar[sup]®[/sup]-knockoff intro]

It’s always gratifying to hear from one so dedicated to his mission.

We should all be so courageous as 2trew. It’s hard to stand up for what you believe, especially in General Questions, the cornerstone of this great Board.

Few people have what it takes to be eligible for the coveted Idi. Most lack the well-roundedness to even be considered.

Certainly, others have displayed a reasonable degree of cruelty, easily explained with a smilie or a “just kidding,” but 2trew has shown he deserves this honor. And while one-armed naked suspects are a minor thing, consider an auditorium full of moviegoers.
Off to investigate the source of an annoying beeping sound, 2trew discovers the noise is a fire alarm. Rather than risk a stampede that might actually hinder his escape, 2trew returns to the auditorium and quietly ushers his wife to safety.

Join me in The Pit, won’t you, as I emphasize a memorable moment:[

We’ll be back after these words.

Okay, you caught me.

Yes, I am evil. Hitler has nothing on me. 666? I have 662, I’m like 4 places ahead of the Antichrist, and hope to make it into the 500’s some time in the new year.

662? The Neighbor of the Beast!

No, Sam, it’s the area code of the Beast. (Ah, fond memories of Yazoo City.)