It’s as good a time as any…
I say thee nay!
Nope, sorry. How 'bout next Tuesday?
I have a show next Tuesday…can you make it after Christmas? Or wait, after New Year’s, I wanna get plastered one more time before the end of the world!!!
Not until I see Return of the King.
Read the Next George RR Martin book.
Make love to a beautiful girl by candlelight. (that last one should keep the ending at bay for a long long time)
Or perhaps all three at the same time?
If he’s reading a book and watching a movie while making love to a beautiful girl, I can guarantee it’ll be the last time he gets to do any of them, because if she has any sense she’ll set light to him with the candles…
… pretty apocalyptic if it’s at the right moment, I guess!
What, now? Ok, just lemme wash my teeth and I’ll be right out.
So, can I have your car?
Oh, wait – I thought it was the rapture.
I thought it smelled like napalm this morning.
Could you wait until I get my plasma TV? I wanna watch the world end in crispy clear resolution.
[Peter Cook ON]
Hmmm.
It was GMT, wasn’t it?
Well, it’s not been quite the conflagration we’d been banking on. Right, never mind lads - same time tomorrow.
[/Peter Cook]
It’s not the apocalypse, I have yet to have sex with anyone.
The Stars Are Right. The Stars Are Right. * The Stars Are Right!*
Oh shit! The Elder one is coming out!!! It really is the apocalypse
Eat me first please! 
Sweet, that means I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. I’m sleeping in.
And then me!
And then the spankings will begin! I’ve been a naughty, evil grail-shaped-window-illuminating Zoot!
Wait, hold on.
The Cubs have to win the world series.
I have to buy a brand new car.
Then I have to buy a brand new computer, with a CPU that’s less than a year old, at the most.
So we’re far, far away…
I’m sorry, I never got that memo about the Apocalypse.
shuffles through papers
Yup, I have the memo for armageddon, and for hell freezing over, and for pigs flying, but I sure don’t see the Apocalypse memo.
I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to reschedule, because I just don’t have my lawn chair and kegger to enjoy it.
People, let’s get organized! We can’t have apocalypse more than once so we gotta agree on the time and place. So please, does anyone have anything to do on the 1st of April, 2004?