I knew Stacy would get fired.
Rightly so too!
Lesson from the task: Once again, success depends on traffic. Draw people, and their little dogs too, to your location. Also, the more services you offer, the more opportunities you have to sell stuff and make cash. Doggie photos was a good idea, Stacy just didn’t sell the cost/benefit ratio too well.
Lesson from the firing: Take responsibility for your share of the task. Sell your ideas to your leader.
And SHADDUP ALREADY, Stacy! Does she really not understand how annoying her incessant talking is? And her whiny “Make me a PM” – Carolyn gave her a well-deserved bit of the old smack-fu for that line. This is one of the things I like about Apprentice – that the team picks its own leader each week. If Stacy couldn’t convince the coven to let her lead, she wouldn’t win the game no matter what. Which goes back to the lesson: She couldn’t sell her ideas.
So next week Andy gets his time in the hot seat. He’s all in; he wins and validates Trump’s faith, or he loses and goes home.
Boys and girls, children of all ages, it’s the must scrum-diddly-umptious show on Earth, the Raj Ratings. Although, based on Raj’s performances the last few weeks, methinks I’ll have to change the association of this list with Raj and rename it something like “Sandy’s Silicone-Injected Lip Standings” or “Maria Boren’s Blitzkrieg Blinking Ballpark Figures”. This week had more moaning and groaning, hard headedness, and position changing than date night at Paris Hilton’s house.
Edmund Fitzgerald - or, Gone with no hope of returning
Bradford, Stacie J., Rob, Pamela, John, Jenn C. otherwise known as the most contemptible lot of killers, bounders, and tiger stabbers since Homer donated a kidney.
Stacy R. (Last week - Bismarck) - Heh. “I’m not really a dog person.” You’re not really a human person by the judge of this week. I am guessing you had no viewing party because that was savage. That wasn’t the insane, screaming and yelling destruction we see so often in reality TV. That was worse. Harsh, up front, and brutal. And completely deserved. Not so smirky, are we now, eh? You were awful. Now go find your twin and get back to warning the Japanese of the impending arrival of Godzilla. Donald should have ordered the cab with the booster seat. Loser.
Titanic - or, Dead in the water, just waiting for the cargo class to drown
Andy (Bismarck) - Losing the phone is bad, but being called a disaster by Donald is worse. You might as well carve Andy next to the shaky “Brooks was here” in the rafters you are so at the end of your journey. You seem like the kind of guy that knows how much trouble you are in, which means you’ll go from wild, improbable ideas to really random, 1% chance of success ideas. Not a long shelf life on those.
Bismarck - or, probably sinking, but it will take a couple more blows
Elizabeth (Titanic) - The team split gives you new life (at least until next week). Every coven chick is on the other side and Jenn actually seems to like you. This is about as close to a fresh start as one can have. It won’t hide past mis-steps, but you have a tiny bit of wriggle room.
Sandy (Titanic) - The least wanted chick was an awful start, but you worked hard and that says good things. You didn’t seem the type to dive into the muck willingly, but you did step up. Granted, it was nothing the average 8 year old couldn’t do, but your bar was so low only Stacy could get under it at this point.
Maria (Titanic) - Well, your shoulder was birthing Strawberry Shortcake and you continued the unfathomable trend of high heels at stupid times, but last weeks win plus this weeks win might save you a tad. Don’t screw up next week and you may move up another notch, Blinky McFierceson.
Chris (HMS Pinafore) - You are unlikable. Anyone portrayed as this smarmy can’t win, because Donald doesn’t need the competition.
Stuck in dry dock - or, Who are you? Are you on this show?
Wes. (No change) - You led, but I still can’t get a handle on you. You recognized Stacy’s incompetence, but you didn’t work around it. You seem thoughtful, but too indecisive. You kept Kelly, but passed on Kevin for Andy. The only thing that might save you is the fact that Andy’s clock is ticking and Jack Bauer ain’t around to defuse the bomb.
Raj (HMS Pinafore) - It’s not that he is an unknown, but at this point he’s a wash. He has some glaring negatives that point to non-victory, but he is a world better than many others. He needs a strong performance in the next 2 weeks.
HMS Pinafore - or, Some singing, some dancing, some tragedy. Overall, not too bad.
Ivana (Bismarck?) - I almost forgot her. This may be a good thing. She has faded into the background which I think marks her for a longer stay. I don’t really think she is this good, but there is something to be said for letting others make mistakes, which is what I think she is doing. You are an idiot for your Jenn M. leadership remarks. I’d buy stock in you saying Jenn M. was a poor leader for not willing to get in the trenches with the troops if she had just been the overseer.
Queen Mary II - or, Leader of the Pack, vroom vroom
Kelly (No change) - I think you are in good shape, even if you irked Donald. That’s probably one of those eccentric billionaire moments. Too much goodwill built up at this point. Final 4 for you.
Jenn M. (No change) - Unless Carolyn walks in to find you dry humping her husband, I think you are final 4. Heck, you are so in the driver’s seat, she’d probably join in. And yes, I am typing this one handed.
Kevin (No change) - I think major bump up. Not just because they are both bruthas, but there are some striking similarities to Kwame. Solid and consistent, willing to work, will stand behind a belief in the boardroom. Frankly, someone this normal is refreshing.
Next week? Stacy is ousted. Oh wait, my dream already came true. I think the post eviction party will make Pamela’s look like a presidential funeral.
Tell that to the Romanovs…
Anyway, why on earth did Wes trade away Kevin over Andy? And why did Jenn drop Sandy (who was never bad, just wasn’t good - and at least always put in work) and keep Ivana?
The trades didn’t quite make sense.
And then, to be even more exceptionally girly - what was Mosaic wearing? It started with Stacy wearing a cardigan tied over a jean jacket. And then Sandy wearing a microskirt to wash dogs, when all of the sudden there are Maria’s shoes and the skirt seems flat out normal.
Also, why was Andy’s losing the phone that much of a problem, you call the phone - they pick it up, you ask to have it brought back…for the cost of a taxi ride, you’ve got your phone again. And am I really supposed to believe that between the six of them, only two have cell phones?
Kelly’s comment wasn’t exaggeration, he & Sandy were washing dogs, they were busy.
But she’s gone!!! yay!!! (and her cab ride shows that she’s also clueless) but who cares, she’s GONE!!!
now to dump Maria.
Was it me, or did Stacy have something taped over the Yankees logo on her cap?
Yep. They’re not allowed to bring their own cell phones, and each team is provided with two that are permanently set to walkie-talkie mode for when they have to split the teams up. Yes, it’s very contrived. What do you really expect from The Donald?
This time, I agree with Donald’s choice.
Not only that, but Sandy was the very first person traded away. I was like, “Huh?” I didn’t remember much about Sandy, but she certainly didn’t seem as dysfunctional as some of the others.
Did she say that? I thought that was Sandy, but I could be wrong.
[quoteMaria (Titanic) - Well, your shoulder was birthing Strawberry Shortcake and you continued the unfathomable trend of high heels at stupid times, but last weeks win plus this weeks win might save you a tad. Don’t screw up next week and you may move up another notch, Blinky McFierceson.[/quote]
Maria was on the losing team this week. Wes sorta made it sound like the reason he couldn’t drag her into the boardroom this week was b/c of last week’s victory. She’d better get more useful really soon.
Been thinking about Wes’ trades, which at first didn’t make sense. Now I’m wondering if he traded Kevin and Raj becaue he knew they were both strong players, maybe strong than him, and if taken into the boardroom might hand him his ass. He kept Andy thinking of him as cannon fodder (which has been tried by him before to no avail). So perhaps there was a bit of strategy in his decision to trade his best teammates. Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.
Wasn’t it the Wes/Kevin duo that took the blame for last week’s losing? Maybe he didn’t want a repeat of that. No one has told me yet how the winning team managed to win.
You owe me a new keyboard, comrade! 
John tried to blame it on the Wes/Kevin duo, but the fact that he didn’t bring Wes into the boardroom undermined his reasoning for Kevin’s presence, and made it look like John was playing favorites. Also, Kevin stuck up for Andy, which pretty much sunk John right there. I think Wes sees Kevin as a threat, and possibly also Raj, who despite being annoying is also very smart and usually useful. Thus, he ditches them because he is afraid to go toe to toe with them in the boardroom, keeps Kelly as an ally, and holds onto Andy for scapegoating purposes.
As for Chris, well, I don’t blame him for that trade. What a jerk.
Does anyone think it’ll come down to anyone but Jenn and Kelly? They seem to remain the most consistently solid. Kevin’s a strong player but he doesn’t strike me as having Kelly’s leadership skills and general shrewdness.
They’ve used the “Ding dong the witch is dead” refrain more than once now when an unpopular player has been canned- for both Jen and Pamela, if I remember right.
How would it go if they made it a standard snark each week?
Elizabeth: Ding dong, the crybaby’s dead . . .
Wes: Ding dong, the ineffectual Aryan guy is dead . . .
Maria: Ding dong, the snotty, “let’s put on spike heels and go wash some dogs because by some misalignment of the planets I’m exempt this week” dingbat is dead . . .
etc.
Rubystreak – I agree with your analysis, which I think is right on. We here in the Peanut Gallery keep talking about how this show ain’t Survivor, which is true – but that doesn’t mean that there is no strategy to how it’s played. I think you’re right, and I think Wes is sharper than we’ve been giving him credit for.
BTW – thank you so much for my humiliating week over at Fantasy TeeVee. 
Moody Bastard (hi hon!) – like your theme song idea – that has a lot of potential!
I support Jennifer’s reasoning for why she got down & dirty with clipping the dogs’ nails. From what I’ve seen, a good manager will give a task to the person best qualified to perform it – and if the manager decides that person is themself, they go ahead and do the task.
Ivana seems to have missed this point. She whined that Jennifer was too involved. But didn’t someone whine a few weeks ago that Pamela was too UNinvolved?
hiya, twick!
I think Wes was trying to be clever, but as a wise man once said, “It’s a fine line between clever and stupid.” He didn’t take into account the fact that a strong Apex could just keep kicking Mosaic’s butt, which will lead to him being fired sooner rather than later. There’s only so long you can send the scapegoat in to save your own ass before it comes back to bite you right on it.
BTW – thank you so much for my humiliating week over at Fantasy TeeVee.
I’m sure Jelaza is going to bring me to my knees next week, don’t worry.
Did I hear Ivana say “we’re going to fire Elizabeth” in the preview for next week? And Stacy thought Wes got her fired. When will these people learn that it’s Trump who does the firing? Do they really think he’s so easily manipulated?
Out of curiosity, is it just me or is Jenn M. as hot as hell?
I heard that too. I think what they meant was, fire her as PM. That is something they can do, and should if the situation warrants it. Remember when Kwame had Omarosa on his team in the final competition and didn’t fire her? He paid for that mistake. Maybe Elizabeth will get the old heave-ho. It certainly is overdue.
What do you mean? The teams have clearly used the cell-phones for actual phone calls, as seen last night when Wes or Andy called up the fire department. They’ve also clearly had the phones to their ears in several instances, which seems to indicate that the phone aren’t always on speakerphone. This again leads me to a question that I first posed last season, but one unable to be answered: How do the producers record the voice of the person on the other end of the line? I wouldn’t be half-surprised if that’s simply an actor saying what might have been said during the call.