How many times have we heard the Apprentice ads promise another “boardroom first” in the next episode? I think it’s about time we came up with our own ideas for new boardroom gimmicks. How about the following?
[ul]
[li]Donald Trump, no pants on![/li][li]Calesthenics, anyone?[/li][li]Special guest viceroy: Dr. Joyce Brothers![/li][li]Special claymation boardroom footage![/li][li]Two words: Achy breaky![/li][li]The winning PM must gain an exemption by swallowing pig intestines[/li][/ul]
and
[ul]
[li]The losing team is forced to jump over a tankful of sharks[/li][/ul]
The PM on the losing team gets a paddling.
Trump fires Caroline
Trump announces the teams will be reshuffled to “Hot” and “Not”.
The three people called back into the board room have to explain, in an extemporaneous poetry slam, why they shouldn’t be fired.
Trump fires George
Winning team’s reward? They get to touch Trump’s hair
Trump decides all the members of the winning team but one get an exemption
Trump accidentally fires himself.
Only the winning team goes back to the suite, the losers will sleep at the Y.
The losing team gets stuck with a notorious loser from a previous season, like Danny, Omarosa, Audrey, etc.
BTW, did anyone else read the article on Trump in today’s New York Times? They basically say that Trump overestimates his wealth and is worth nowhere near the $5 billion that he claims. Instead, they estimate his current net worth at about $250 million. That’s no chump change, but the article (adapted from an upcoming book) really points out his failures and makes him seem a lot less like the mogul he’s portrayed to be on The Apprentice.
Trump kills the fired contestant!
The contestants walk in to see, to their shock and surprise, Trump having a three-way with Mark Burnett and Jeff Zucker! “Sorry, guys…I was, um, ‘renegotiating my contract.’”
Pissed off at the ratings of her show, Martha Stewart barges in and murders Trump!
Wedding bells for George and Carolyn? You bet!
The boardroom has been moved to Jurassic Park! Contestants must outrun dinosaurs while being critized by Trump! (Cross-promotion. Blame the NBC-Universal merger.)
Donald Trump is sick this week. Joe Rogan will be taking his place. (Yet more cross-promotion.) Contestants must jump from a speeding VW Beetle (part of VW’s NBC promotion deal), then consume elephant testicles! If you can’t do it, you’re fired!
Trump fires the cast of Joey!
A madman is trying to destroy New York City! If the contestants can save the day, no one will be fired this week! And that madman is…Donald Trump?
Trump eats the losing contestant!
To offer some serious speculation, there aren’t that many realistic firing scenarios that Trump hasn’t already done. He’s already fired someone without a second boardroom. He’s already fired two people at once. To my mind that leaves the following plausible possibilities:
Trump fires someone from the winning team (Markus would be an excellent candidate for this).
Someone quits. This has happened before but it didn’t happen in the boardroom so was not a “boardroom first.”
Trump fires somebody, then changes his mind, calls them back and fires soembody else.
Someone besides Trump (Carolyn?) does the firing.
Trump fires people from both the losing team and the winning team.