Being hedonistic essentially about taking advantage of what life has to offer. Some of these pleasures have long arc like falling in love and getting married. Then there are more instant pleasures, like one night stands and taking shots. If you want to start a fire quickly, why not just grab a match? Hedonism is mostly about those short arc pleasures.
People often associate hedonism with coolness because it signals that you live your life on your own terms and even signals some amount of bravery. People respect authenticity and bravery.
Where do most people get introduced to hedonistic activities? Parties. To be invited to many parties signals that you’re likable, respected, and fun.
However, I think people seeking hedonism are walking on a thin line. Engaging in so much substance use that you become a liability to yourself and others isn’t cool. Smelling someone’s vomit after them getting drunk and getting into a car wreck and then pissing themself certainly
isn’t cool. Getting laid is cool, but having a body count above 100 likely isn’t cool. They might have a lot of STDs, unplanned pregnancies, and interpersonal drama. People who “party” to excess seldomly are powerful. Being powerful is one of those traits listed in that article.
Who says I threw up on myself, wrecked a car or had STDs? Part of being cool is knowing how to handle partying while maintaining a postion of power. Being powerful is cool in and of itself.
And all of this without pissing myself. I did get stabbed once, but low and behold people thought that it was kind of cool that I survived and put my attacker in prison.
Well, the dictionary definition is more like “sensual self-indulgence”
When you say “people” you don’t mean everyone. Many people believe that “cool” = “selfish, self-absorbed jerk ass”. Especially if they’ve ever hung out with a “cool” person.
Anything you can think of that helps others or helps the planet, those are things cool people would disdain. They go for sex, drugs, violence, and showy expense.
I respect authenticity and bravery but cool people don’t have it. They make a mockery of those virtues.
I think hedonism fits into coolness by being something that “cool” people can pursue, because they’re neither scraping by nor such try hards that they have to constantly bust-ass, and can prioritize having a good time.
I sort of feel like it’s maybe a bit aspirational for a lot of people- they want to be able to do that, so they think people who can are cool.
I’m skeptical. I’d suspect that those perceived as “cool” are then attributed those traits. Mostly.
The one on the list that I suspect is more a factor causing the perception is the “autonomy” one. A necessary but insufficient precondition of being cool is not caring if others think of you as cool. A disregard of what others say. Thus those who want to be cool will as result always fail. Confidence is required.
Meh I’d disagree. The Keith Moons and Iggy Pops of the world are undeniably cool. They absolutely did all those things. Its not a good thing, the glorification is horrible substance abuse problems as hedonism is incredibly dumb. But it is definitely a thing
I’d say the cut off point is that luxury, wealth and privilege are "not cool*. So your “Everyman” rock star getting off their tits and shagging everything that moves is cool (all the more so if they still maintain their grungy punk image). Elon Musk doing so is not.
I find the dialectic between Epicureanism and Stoicism to be pretty cool
(especially when the synthesis contains altruism.)
The fallacy of Epicureanism as hedonism, consumerism, materialism, and sensationalism seen in society isn’t much more than a “worship the gourd!” belief system.
The dialectic of that with the perverted Stoicism of the manosphere (“broicism”) synthesizes into a Objectivist tissue of bullshit that has to be maintained with thug cops and mercenaries.
Are you saying those things can’t occur together? If you drink and drive, you’re more likely to get into an accident. If you puke on yourself, you’re even more likely to get into a wreck. The shock of getting into a car wreck can make you piss yourself. Accidents and bodily functions are common. I once wiped out on my roller blades, farted, and choked on my gum.
Sleeping with 100 people is excessive but not astronomical or unbelievable.
I think that is kind of a myth. That cool people don’t care if others think they are cool. I think they do care, they just wouldn’t sell their soul to the devil to be cool though. Yet these same people can still be autonomous. They aren’t an island, a peninsula maybe.
But those were not the images associated with their being “cool.” Those images were mostly kept out of view and if seen would have diminished the perception.
It is at least what I observed among my own kids and their peer groups. Cool was not the same a “popular”. It was being the one who others tried to copy; not keeping up with the trends.
Minimally it requires being perceived as not caring. And the perception that they are making little effort. The hard work to make it look effortless cannot be seen or admitted to.
Quite true. But not because they are “liability to yourself and others”, that is very much part of the “coolness”. We ignore the icky mundane reality of substance abuse and focus on the “cool” aspect.
Random example from top of my head. The infamous Keith Moon elephant tranquilizer incident. That shouldn’t be cool. It’s just a man with a drug problem being too wasted to work. But it absolutely is. I definitely thought so as a 18 year old. I think differently 30 years later, but guess what: as a fat suburban middle-aged dad I no longer get a say as to what is cool
ruffling a dog’s ears and saying, “Who’s a good boy? WHO’S A GOOD BOY?”
Skinny-dipping
Walking in the woods and smelling that lovely humus smell
That first sip of coffee in the morning
Laughing at a silly joke or video
These are all short-arc pleasures, aren’t they? But I wouldn’t consider someone delighting in them to be hedonistic.
Instead, “hedonism” to me implies prioritizing pleasures to the detriment of other parts of life. If you spend thousands of dollars you can’t afford to get the best coffeemaker on the planet and then won’t stop talking about it, that’s a little more hedonistic. If you buy a coat made from dog’s ears because they’re so soft, that’s Cruella deHedonism. If you divorce your spouse just so you can go to a nudist swinger resort, that’s Hedonism Too.
Being cool is obviously super-subjective, and it’s hard to define beyond “acts in a way that I find delightfully interesting.” For me, a cool person is passionate about something harmless and unafraid to share their passion but also not going to corner me to lecture me about it. Your passion can be anything from Legos to dogs to skinnydipping to Vermeer to Egyptian mythology to the Raiders, I don’t much care–if you unironically gain pleasure from it, whether short- or long-arc, that’s cool.
But I know that other folks have different specific criteria for how folks act in a way that they find delightfully interesting.
Whenever I think of a “cool” person, I tend to think of certain characters (film and TV) I consider cool. Fonzie is the first one to come to mind. Especially the first season, when he was a bit quieter. I wouldn’t consider him to be a selfish or self-absorbed, though.
Other characters I consider cool include Mike Damone in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the Man with No Name, and various characters played by Steve McQueen. And yea, some of them could be jerks at times, but I wouldn’t define them as such.
Upon mature reconsideration: when cool is manufactured for consumption, as in film, television, rock bands, rap, advertising, and fiction, then it is essentially a construct, an act, an invention. It’s imaginary. In real life, these people are typically narcissists.
In real life, cool people, in my opinion, are those who are passionate about what they do, and what they do is constructive. Examples around here include a retired Fish & Game warden who rehabilitates raptors, and gives talks and demonstrations to schools, at fairs, to gun clubs, etcetera. An Episcopal priest who has given up parish ministry to help organize solidarity protests. Well, there are lots, if you look.
Probably because I’m autistic and my upbringing was upper-midwestern, I have always had a hyper-awareness of falsity, and a distrust of any kind of showiness. I have a ingrained distaste for hedonism. So that colors my posts.
Part of being cool is knowing how to handle partying while maintaining a postion of power. Being powerful is cool in and of itself.
