In this thread : URL=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=235242]Nerd / Geek - which is worse? …
They say this about nerds:
I have been accused of being nerdish... so please would the few "cool" people in this board tell me what do "cool" people talk about ? I guess politics is boring, history too academic, science too nerdish, books to uncool. So what do they talk about ? Other peoples lives ? Fashion ? Themselves ?
( I guess anyone bothering to read a message board about IMHO in the internet instead of being “cool” elsewhere are hardly qualified to answer this question… but lets try.)
They mock nerds and geeks like us. So in a way they NEED us. Without us being here so that they can claim to be superior to someone, they would have nothing.
Lately, it’s all about pool, the Colts, whether we are going to bother with a garden next year, and whether it would be better to be born rich or handsome. Oh, and whether my father-in-law will live another week.
At my college? Who hooked up with whom, complaining about one’s own life, talking about their “drama,” insulting minorities, how the Yankees/Red Sox suck, making really stupid sex jokes a la “that’s what she said,” proudly proclaiming the virtues of needing a guy/chick to be with, and whining about how difficult their classes are.
I guessed there would be room for a policy wonk like myself in Washington DC. I guessed wrong.
I am showing my age with this story, but many, many years ago, I was a seat filler at some godawful charity dance performance in NYC. Top ticket price was about $1000 and I was plunked down in that section.
I sat directly behind Andy Warhol and Bianca Jagger. During the entire show, Bianca Jagger was saying, “Do you like my shoes? I was going to buy the same in red, but I thought the green were better. I probably should have bought the red ones, but I really liked the green ones. They had them in other colors but the red ones seemed so red…” and on, and on, and on until I wanted to beat her dead with my shoe. Andy simply grunted and nodded and didn’t say a damned word.
However, the BEST overheard conversation that night was from the two couples sitting next to me…the women were obvious wannabe socialites and the husbands were a means to afford to get them there. Somebody important walked by and one of the women snatched her arm and told this story:
“We went to visit Kathreen at her villa in Italy last month.”
“Really?” the woman who was snagged said, uninterested.
"Yes…we drove up to this huge mansion and the manservant came to our car and directed the butler to get our luggage. Well, the manservant brought us into the house and it was amazing. I looked up and there were beautiful frescos painted on the ceiling, with amazing carved cherubs. Just gorgeous. Then Kathreen came down the huge staircase and greeted us. I said ‘the ceiling is simply fabulous’ and Kathreen looked up and said, “Oh, really? I’ve never noticed.”
I don’t think it’s a question of just talking about things. I think it’s a scary level of enthusiasm and lacking the social skills to know when to stop.
For example,
“How do you relax?”
“I play video games.”
Fine.
“How do you relax?”
“Oh, I play EverQuest and ohmygod, just a few days ago, I was telling my friend Hrrhrrhrr that we should, like, quit playing cause they totally nerfed the Necromancer. Can you believe they took 2 points off its DOT?” Etc. etc. Meanwhile, the other person is doing a big, fake “Come help me!” smile.
Nerdy. Unless you’re talking to someone who also plays and will know what you’re talking about. Then it’s still nerdy, but it’s ok.
Well, since I am generally regarded as being pretty cool, I guess the things I talk about; current affairs, video games, sports (especially baseball) and movies.
Let’s see…this weekend I talked about hot rods, music, movies, chatted with three family members about family stuff, researched home health monitors with my husband, ordered stuff on line, decorated my bathroom, grocery shopped, cooked, discussed what I’m reading (“The Best Short Stories of 2003”), drank wine, did laundry, and talked about the weather. Oh…and I thought about fashion three or four times, but never actually discussed it. What did YOU do, Nerd-boy???
Maybe it’s just me, but I remember when I was in junior high, it was almost like the designated nerds weren’t even ALLOWED to like the “cool” stuff. For example, the “cool” kids liked Rock Band A. If a nerd said he or she also liked them, the “cool” kids would act shocked and snicker. “He’s trying to be cool!”
Mostly, though in high school, the cool kids gossiped about their plans and where they went last night and who was there and such and such.
I think that this really captures the difference. It’s more a question of intensity. Most people talk about the same stuff, but if you are a football fan and you’re talking to a non football fan about the game, a “cool” person won’t go into tedious detail. I think that we all have moments of nerdity and coolness, it’s just that some people lean more towards one or the other.
I also think that these distinctions become irrelevant after high school. By the time you’re out of college, it becomes kind of sad to be talking about how someone is a dork or a nerd.
Don’t focus on what they are and the image they project. yeah, they have fashion, taste and apparently limited amounts of cash, but frankly, who has that much time or cash to be a Metrosexual?
Focus on you and things that you like and love. Then the nerves of being a social misfit will dissapate. Really. You’ll find yourself in a core group of people who are like you and understand the path you have trod upon in your dorky little dweeby shoes.
Who are ‘cool’ people anyway? I live in a college town… are they frat boys and sorority girls? Are they snobby artists? Do they hang out at bookstores and coffee shops or the Gap? Who are they?
Thing is, most people talk about what they’re interested in… some people like reality shows or EverQuest or D&D or beer or books or movies. I’m a newbie homebrewer… and I like to talk about it a lot. Does that make me a nerd?
I’m a self-proclaimed geek dating another out of the closet geek. I’m very happy not having to ‘be cool’ around people anymore because of the groans and rolled eyes. (I had a roommate who fancied himself ‘cool’ I guess, and he wouldn’t let me watch Star Trek when he was in the room. Go watch Meet the Press on your own tv… or read your massive comic collection you closeted geek.)
I play D&D and Risk and a good Saturday night is homemade pizza and Trivial Pursuit.
I think DMark IS cool!! Inches from Warhol… WOW!! I wanna have your babies!
Honestly, that’s pretty damn cool to have been seated behind Warhol. Their conversation sucked but such people rarely have depth, they have a name or they have money. I find all sorts of nerds/dorks/geeks/dweebs and so on, cool. Not due to money or fame or how they look. If we have similar interests, then to me, they are cool. Warhol wasn’t as “in” as some people think. Some of his projects received a lot of critisism. He is actually more of a counter-culture celebrity. I like him because he didn’t fit the mold.
We mock “geeks” because they act stupid. I’m not the coolest guy in the world, but if I’m with someone who acts in an embarassing manner, I’m going to ridicule them until they either stop or hang out with someone else.
Being cool is not about wearing the right clothes and hair (although it helps), it is about knowing how to act appropriately in a given situations. It is understanding how people are going to react to your behavior.
It also involves a certain amount of not sucking at stuff.
