sorry to resurect a dead thread but i’ve been on vacation the last few days (pit thread will follow, trust me), but I just had to say, techchick…
kabobs? pepper steak??
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Thats what the vaginals cook on the grill dare you approach it?? Do you baste it with estrogen too??
WIMMINS!!
Oh Whammo,
You are just pissed off because I can grill at all.
If you’d like, I can grill up some tasty bbq pork ribs for you.
Hamburgers are too easy as are hot dogs.
If you want some corn on the cob and a salad, you will have to stay in the kitchen and cook that.
< sigh >
I personally hate it when some chick brings over something wussy like squash, or eggplant or falafel burgers, usually I refuse to let it touch the grill. It has to drip life blood for me to grill it.
(manly man voice)
That is of course when I bother to cook it at all, Usually I just eat it raw… while it is still atached to the cow.
Squash? ICK! Eggplant? ICK!
What the hell is falafel?
Gads, some of my sisters need help!
Hoooooooo-Booooooooooy, how did I miss this thread???
I have not one, but TWO big tool boxes as well as a nice little collection of power tools AND know how to use them!
I can work on my car.
I can change flat tires.
I can lift and move heavy furniture.
I can kill spiders (moths are another story).
I can yell and cuss with the best of them while watching sports on TV and live.
I am an aggressive driver.
I can grill anything and make it taste good. I can even make an impressive intitial blast of flame that singes all exposed body hair within a 10 foot radius.
I mow the yard, till the garden, and plant trees.
I helped build my 20 foot redwood patio, including the additional section of concrete.
I could land a pretty solid karate kick upside your head if I wanted to.
My barbell has as much weight, if not more, than any guy in my Power-Flex class.
I am good at baseball, football, and basketball.
Not a big deal, eh guys?
Now let’s see you:
Do your hair, put on a slinky dress, turn on the sex appeal and bring gown men crying to their knees.
Get out of speeding tickets.
Put the toilet seat down.
Destroy empires, dynasties, and presidencies with nothing but our womanly power over weak men.
But most of all, squeeze a live being from a place 10 times too small.
The following does not apply to techchick68, Anthracite and Diane
Now, as to what really frosts my dick:
Nice women who get all gah-gah over these bad boy types.
(Please come crying to me when they slap the shit out of you.)
The directionally challenged nature of the feminine sex.
(Those of us who can do. Those who can’t ask for directions.)
The way that they always leave the toilet seat down.
(We won’t even talk about taking over half an hour to shower.)
The complete inability to repair mechanical devices.
(Honey, it’s making that sound again.)
Their ability to sit through a half hour of ads without reaching for the remote.
(Must have something to do with the patience they’ve developed for dealing with us menfolk.)
The way they reach into the coldcase and grab the first steak that they touch.
(It’s an art, not frickin’ home ec, girls.)
As for myself:
I know how to cook, shop and make chocolate pudding from scratch.
I pick out outfits for my women that other women compliment them on.
(This will make no sense to any of the men, ladies.)
I can repair my own clothes and accesorize myself in ways that don’t involve setting off metal detectors.
Children and animals love to play with me.
And yes, techchick68 is obviously a Goddess deserving of most excellent major squinking from only the studliest.
Anytime, anywhere, anyway techchick68, I’ll be there, all you have to do is bend over and mark a spot.
[Homer] Mmmmm must kiss lily-white, sweet little female ass [/Homer]
Are you scared of us? 
Title: Toilet Seats 101 for Wimmin:
Description: Yes…you too can put the toilet seat down. Potential energy is on your side.
Nooooooo - the toilet seat belongs DOWN! Look at any toilet display in a catelog or a hardware store. DOWN is the natural position! Besides, a wet cold ass in the middle of the night is further proof that the seat belongs DOWN. DOWN looks better!! DOWN doesn’t show the pee drip stains you leave on the rim.
DOWN!
Trust me. DOWN!
My wife sat straight up in bed last night, screaming, “Oh my God!” I (damn near sound asleep, dammit), asked, “What’s the matter honey? Did you have a bad dream?” She replies,“Yeah. You got Mack-Trucked.” (Remember, this is 2 AM–coherence isn’t required or expected) I looked at her quizzically. She said, “You got mushed flat by a giant Chocolate Nestle’s Wonder Ball. Nothing left but a grease spot on the road.”
True story. My reply: "At least you didn’t sit up and yell “Woo-hoo!”
…it really is a good illustration of the wimmin mindset.
“Put the seat down after you pee!”
Why do they care? Granted wimmin need to sit on the throne maybe 4 times as often as men do but let’s get serious.
Show of hands among the men who have sat on cold porcelain instead of semi-cold plastic because they forgot to check to see if the seat was dropped before they sat down.
Hmmmm…just as I thought…no hands. Not surprised really since it’s such a SIMPLE and OBVIOUS thing to do. I dunno, maybe it’s cuz men’s jewels are hanging down there that we want to eyeball anything we’re about to sit on carefully first.
Seriously ladies…I’d think you’d bitch more about leaving the seat DOWN and not up. When I leave the seat up for my wife it’s one of those little gestures that says, “I was thinking of you and went out of my way to raise the seat so your cute and precious bottom won’t be sullied in case I get distracted and hit the seat instead of the water.”
Does she see my consideration? Hell no and this is the trick wimmin try to play. Leave the seat down and they want it up. Leave it up and they want it down.
Make up your minds already!
Not fearful, but just the opposite, Diane, quite desirous! A woman of talent and capability usually makes walk funny.
::Drag…Scrape…Drag…Scrape…::
Real women are truly the finest gift that real men can hope for. It’s why I’ve never married yet, just got to have a real one. I will add something else to the list that no other man has posted yet. Sheer modesty* prevented me from doing so previously:
[li]The lady always comes first![/li]
[li]Real men have multiple orgasms.[/li]
Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
PS: I never have a problem asking for directions. It’s just that I so rarely need them.
Guys - Shhhhhh! I have learned from experience that bad shit happens when you piss women off. None of your complaints are anything you can’t handle, so just let the argument die. You talk about this type of thing quietly around a BBQ, sipping beer and lamenting your lost youth.
Not in public - even in jest. Ever. It will come back to haunt you years later. You won’t even see it coming. Bam!
I probably already myself doomed just reading this thread. Shit. I posted. Now I gotta get flowers…
Well Diane, you can come visit anytime. 
I believe this… but how do you know?
Oh Dear Lord, you men are never going to understand the concept of the toilet seat! Listen up.
The time that is most dangerous for the cold wet ass is during the middle of the night when we sleepwalk to the toilet to pee. Lights are off, everything is quiet, we make the mistake of TRUSTING you, and then :::SPASH!!!::: within seconds, we are wide awake, wet and cold, and all trust is lost.
The reason it doesn’t happen to you is twofold. One, since we use the bathroom more often, odds are that the toilet seat is already down - WHERE IT BELONGS! Two, what percentage of bathroom use do you spend sitting down? Of that small amount, what percentage is done during the hours of 10:00 P.M. and 6:00 A.M. when the house is dark? Do you get up to poop at 2:00 A.M.? :rolleyes:
Ummmmmmm. . . . ??? Answer me THAT, you member of the opposite sex of half-formed primates.
Also, take special notice of the word “seat” in the description “toilet seat”. A seat is a horizontal object that you put your butt on. I have never SAT on a vertical wall, or door, or a lifted toilet seat. I challenge you to try. Of course, you may cheat and sit on the small vertical area at the top, but it makes more sense to just lower the seat to it’s NATURAL position.
::::gratuitious boob flash for those men who tend to fade out when a woman is speaking:::: ( * )( * )
Now that I have your attention again, may I say that although it is expecting way too much for you men to understand (I’ll make a list to make it simple):
Repeat over and over and over and over. Maybe (Pshaaaaaaaa right), just maybe you will catch the drift of if one of these days. If not, we’ll keep reminding you.
:::Smooches:::
Silo - I’m trying to decide which part of my list prompted your comment. Was it the karate kick thing?
Because once the guy comes, it’s all over.
Well knowing how to use a “power tool” is a big plus in my book.
Are we talkin “power tool”, power tool or should we move this thread over to the “Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz - Viberator-something-or-other” thread?
Not that I don’t have them both mastered.
Definately “power tool,” power tool.
BTW, mine’s all charged up and ready to go!