The bad thing about wimmins is...

…they think they know everything, but they DON’T! They’re just dumb!

…Grrrrr…

So, uh, have a good weekend, Whammo?

Uhhhh…

No. I’m not gonna ask. Nope. Not me.

Oh, dammit. I’ve gotta know. WHY are we dumb? What did we do now?

What didn’t you do Persephone?? nag nag nag nag nag, thats all you know how to do. You stood up on a chair and took the register vent out of the ceiling in the kitchen with the purposes of turning it around so it would blow the other direction when you could have just TURNED THE FUCKING LEVER SO IT BLEW THE OTHER DIRECTION!!

NOW YOU BROKE IT!!! DIDN’T YOU!?!?!?!

WHO HAS TO FIX IT NOW PERSEPHONE???!!?! WHO?!?!?!

ME!!! THATS WHO!

HOW IS IT NOW MY FAULT??? HOW DOES THAT WORK?!?!?!
WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER ME PERSEPHONE?!?!?!?!

sits fetal position in the corner rocking back and forth

Well, this should be some good watchin’.

All you wimmins are the same. You should ALL be born blonde.

Uhhhhh…

I’m sorry? I’m not mechanically inclined?

Here, Whammo. Have a beer. Settle down. Tell Persephone the whole story. You can’t be this honked off just because the vent is backwards & needs to be fixed.

[Freud]
Here, just lay down on the couch & tell me…you love your mother & hate your father, yes?
[/Freud]

OK, as a calm, rational male (I just blasted Krispy over in IMHO, so I’m calm now) I have the following to say.

I love women. In particular, I love my girlfriend, of course. But if there is one single thing I have to point out that bothers me about women in general, having about 10 years of statistical evidence at this stage: it’s the irrationality.

You can’t win an argument, because women will always turn it around. And if that fails, they can always roll their eyes and say: “If you don’t know THAT by now, there’s really no use continuing this discussion”.

A man can’t come up with a SOLUTION for a problem, NOOOOOOO, you have to TALK about the UNDERLYING FEELINGS of said problem. Fuck it that you’ve got a perfect solution RIGHT THERE. TALK about it first, waste some time!

Don’t even get me started on women and fucking road maps.

::wanders in, sees that someone’s going to nuke whammo soon, disapparates out before fallout/falcon arrives.::

WHAT was that about me arriving, hmmm?

And Coldy…I can read a map JUST FINE, thank you very much.

Well… I’ve never had a woman that fucked road maps, but as for the rest of that… I know where your comming from brother!!

:: puts his Chemical Warfare suit on and hands one to iampunha ::

You may need that, dude. Someone’s gonna hafta survive the fallout, and I’m going to need help driving the bulldozer to clean up . . .

Tripler

Nobody ever said you couldn’t read the words that are written on it, but can you tell NORTH from SOUTH and follow a road??? NOOOOOOOOO!!!

::bats eyelashes idiotically::

Ooooh, we females just live to confound men! Why, not a single action we take or a single thought we have exists outside the sneaky desire to frustrate men!

::squeals girlishly, but starts gagging::

Aaack. This deliberate obtuseness is hard. Guys…honestly, get a grip. You’re just as confusing and irrational, but you just don’t know it.

Veb

I do too! Don’t you tell ME what I know and what I DON’T woman!
Hmmm… wait a second…

:::high fiving Veb:::

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve just looked at my husband (and the rest of the men I dated prior to him), scratched my head, and said “Huh? What the hell are you so bent about? That’s a non-issue, dear. Move on.”

As for the road map thing, I can read one. But I’m also not afraid to ask for freaking directions if I happen to not know where I am, fer cryin’ out loud! Sheesh! There’s freaking icebergs on the shoulder of the road, and I just know that was Quinn the Eskimo we just passed, but will you stop and say “hey, we’re on our way to Florida, and we got a little turned around. Could you point me in the right direction?” Noooooo. It’s an affront to your precious masculinity to admit that right now, you do not know where the hell you are!

Oh, and do NOT get me started on how much flammable stuff you should use when you’re firing up the grill…

It’s not a matter of men or women being irrational and confusing. Our brains are just wired differently. For instance, my cat confuses the hell out of me sometimes!

BTW, when somebody tells you you’re confusing, usually it’s meant as a verb, not an adjective.

**

We all too often fall for the wrong guys.

Well if you and your honey are anything like me and mine, it’s probably because she asked YOU to do it in your manly and superior way every day for two weeks, but you were way too busy doing “important” things that she couldn’t * possibly * understand, and you blew her off so many times that she finally gave up, and tried doing it herself.

Of course, I’m just guessing.