The Game

This post made me start to think about a certain power that women have over men. Most women have the ability to turn on the charm and wrap most men around their little fingers.

I say most in anticipation of those who will say “I don’t do that.”

At the risk of getting spanked by the feminist, I admit that I use this woman power at times to make my life just a little bit easier. It’s sneaky and evil, so spank me. (!) Hey, at least I admit it.

I guess it is easier to give examples than to try to explain myself.

It’s cold and windy and raining like a bitch. My wipers are crap and finally one side bites the big one while I am driving to meet a friend. I decide I better stop at an auto part store and get a new one. Now, not only do I know how to change wiper blades, I changed the entire arm last year, however, I am dressed up, my hair is curled, my makeup perfect, I sure as hell don’t feel like getting wet.

I reapply the lipstick and walk up to the counter to ask for the wipers. The guy rings me up and hands me the box. I immediately turn it on, put a shy smile on my face, do the tip-the-head-down-and-look-up thing, and innocently ask “Which end goes on first?”

Not only does the guy almost bust his ass trying to get to my car, his partner volunteers to do it for him. Both guys practically race towards my car and install the wipers as the other customers wait.

Got 'em, hook, line, and sinker.

As I drive away all warm and dry and cozy, I smile and think to myself, “God, men are easy”.

There are other examples. I have been pulled over no less than a half dozen times but I have yet to get a ticket. I got an additional $500.00 discount from the guy installing my sprinkler system and this was after he was the lowest bid! After I turned it on, the box-office guy suddenly had a few extra box seats for a sold out game of my favorite baseball farm team, and he sold them to me for regular price. I had my car stereo installed immediately after purchase instead of waiting the 4 days like everyone else. All I had to do was sigh, blink my eyes, and say, “Ohhh, I really wanted to check out my new CD.” BINGO - he suddenly fit me right in. One of the guys who loaded my truck with lumber followed me home (he was getting off work) and unloaded it for me. He came back the next day and helped me with the part of my deck I was altering.

Is it because I am gorgeous? Hell no, it’s only because I know how to play the game that every woman can do.

I am no dummy and being single has made me capable of doing many things, however, I am not ashamed to admit that I use the power to make life a little bit easier.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful a woman may be or how deep her cleavage, all women have this power over men. Whether or not they chose to use it is another story.

So guys, what is this power we women have over you? Is it a penis thing? Is it a need to rescue the damsel in distress? Is it a macho thing? Is it a gentleman thing? What is it?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

We just wanna get laid. Okay? :wink:

I dunno. How good looking are the guys you’ve tried it on? In your expert opinion, would you guess that they “score” very often?

The reason I ask is that while I’m quite willing to help out a lady in certain situations, I’ll generally do it if she simply asks. I never had an easy time getting dates, so when a woman really turned on the charm, I generally felt she was looking for something.

The most serious case I ever had of this was our head cashier back when I was stuck in retail. She was extraordinarily pretty and started out with a good personailty. Everyone in the store knew I was infatuated with her, but my duties kept me in a different department and we rarely crossed paths. One day I was the only manager in the store and I found her hiding in the office while our two floor cashiers watched their lines start backing up toward the stock room. When I suggested she help out (as the foremost cashier) she tried turning on the charms to delay going. I handed her a new cash drawer and booted her out of the office (to the suppressed cheers of all the kids who assumed that I would roll over for her).

I’ve traded stories with a few other guys who had my bad luck finding dates and our stories tend to run along the same lines: “If I can’t get the girl next door to give me a second look, why are you turning on the charm, lady?”

YMMV, of course.


You know, to be honest, I never thought about it. I guess I could say that they run the gamut of good-looking to not so good-looking. That’s a great point though. Are men able to see through women when they do this or are they more concerned with (1) getting laid, (2) rescuing the damsel, (3) feeling macho or needed, (4) simply being a gentleman or (5) some other reason?

I just find it interesting that men allow us to play this game. I am sure there are exceptions, but I think it is much more common for women to do this than it is for men. Why?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

I know at least one guy who fits into each of those…

My boyfriend will do anything for me. In fact, he just promised to drive my best friend (whom he can’t stand) and myself 350 miles to a concert that the boy doesn’t even get to attend. He’s a combination of all the reasons, but my guess is he’s mostly hoping to get laid, or at least get some. Especially since after three months, he’s still not getting any.

My two best guy friends, Matt and Diego, also cater to my every whim. Matt’s simply a gentleman, Diego fears my wrath.

Another guy I know does everything he can to make me happy. He wants me (or rather, he wants my butt), but he also likes to feel needed, and tough.

And yet another boy just likes to be the hero. He revels in the thought of doing everything he can to rescue that ever-in-distress damsel.

It’s all kind of pathetic, but I’m sure as hell not complaining.


So I’m sitting on the couch, watching a rerun of Seinfeld, after just finishing a three course meal prepared by my beautiful and very intelligent girlfriend (who is a great cook, by the way). Ahh, I am in a blissful state. Suddenly, she makes a pointed inquiry about the dishes on the table. Uh, yeah, what about them? Oh, you want to wash them tonight? OK, no problem.

I get up, cart the dishes to the sink and start halfheartedly rinsing them off, applying just a dab of soap on each. Don’t get all the crusty stuff off, but good enough for government work, right? Doo dee doo dee doo. Suddenly my girlfriend comes in, invokes the name of the Lord, and asks me something along the lines of “don’t you know how to wash a fucking dish”? Oh, I’m sorry honey, do you want me to use more soap?

Then she says it, those two little words I’ve been waiting for. “Never mind.”

But honey . . .

“I said NEVER MIND, I’ll do it. Just get the hell out of here.”

I return to the couch, pop open another Bud, and flip the TV channel off of Martha and back to Seinfeld. Ahh, bliss. I smile and think to myself, “God, women are easy”.


Other men may have different motivations, and I suspect they do. Ask the cop that gave me the ticket for witnessing an accident (the female driver cried REAL good).

For myself though, I’d have to say it’s a combination of 4 (gentleman) and 5 (some other reason).
I’d never do any thing unethical (like sell you somebody else’s tix, let you out of a ticket, give you an extra discount, etc.), but, sure, I’d install wipers or help you build a deck. It’s just the right thing, helping another human being.

BTW, you’re not fooling anyone (or at least not me). I always figure a) she really doesn’t have a clue and has to rely on this tactic to survive, or b) she is so F’d up that she relies on this type of performance for some sort of personal satisfaction.
So I guess, for me, the ‘some other reason’ would be ‘pity’.

OTOH, If I could get away w/ it, I would.

I have no ability to turn on the charm. It wouldn’t matter if I did, because I have a feeling it would only make men want to laugh at me. If I need help with something, I simply ask. And most of the time I am able to get someone to help me out just because that person wants to be nice. I get no special breaks from anyone. I have gotten out of tickets, but I know it has nothing to do with charm and everything to do with the look of pure, genuine, terror in my face whenever I see a cop. There is no way you could look at me without feeling sorry for me.

So I get help from nice people and people who pity me. If I waited to get help from people who were charmed and drawn in by my sex appeal, I would never get anywhere.

It depends on my mood. Sometimes, the charm thing works on me, other times it just irritates me. I’ve never done anything “immorral” (giving discounts, free stuff, whatever). and I never would. I have no patience for mind games.

If you want something from me, just ask. If I can do it, I probably will, because I like helping people.

All this is true as long as I don’t know, or merely suspect, that I’m getting “charmed”. But if I know she’s trying to manipulate me, I get really pissed.

OK, enough ranting. As to why is does work sometimes, I dunno. Part lust, part gentleman, part being needed.

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

It has to be #5, some other reason…for me anyway. A girl has to ask me to something for her, and I will do it.If she is trying to charm me, well I’ll miss it. At least I suspect so, or then no one ever has tried this on me. After 35 years I tend to think that I just missed it!
There is also my dear darling friend for whom I love to do everything for, without being asked. But that is altogether different story!


Hey Sealemon… *(turns on the charm) would you mind comin and changing the oil in my car today?

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

I agree wholeheartedly with you Diane. But I think a large part of it still comes down to men thinking (at some level) that women are “inferior” and helpless - “this sweet little thing needs a macho guy like me to help her out.” I don’t think most of them really think it’s going to progress to anything more
(i.e.,a date/getting laid), it’s just that “me Tarzan, you Jane” thing. And, yes, I use it to my advantage too.

Hmmm, I think it has more to do with macho ego than anything coz I am one of those women who can change a tire or fix most anything without help, yet it never fails, some man sees me doing this, and offers to help thinking a woman surely isn’t as capable of doing the job as he is. What’s even more amusing is that they usually say that too. I don’t play the helpless female. I get much more enjoyment watching the man’s jaw drop to the ground when he stands there watching to see if I know my stuff!

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

Well, maybe this is something I’ll grow out of, but I really like doing things for myself. I’m 17, five feet tall, and I apparently look like I couldn’t do anything on my own. Fact of the matter is, I’ve have changed tires, gotten firewood, built things, and assembled stereo equipment, on numerous occasions, and I revel in the fact that I brought a toolkit to college. And I’ve never had to ask for directions.

Oh, and I like power tools, too. :wink:

I also think that I prolly couldn’t do anything like above…inability, mostly. I really doubt any guy I’d never met would follow me home to unload things for me…and I’d be a little confused if he did.

Maybe I’ll grow out of it. :slight_smile:

CanadianSue: < flashing my baby blues >

Sure, baby. Just buy my plane ticket, and I will!

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

I guess I’m a bit late replying to this thread, but since Diane called me her “new sweety”, here I am. See it ladies, a little innocent flattery can work. You should all try it. And if it does work, use it!

I know I am always ready to drop everything to help any woman who just asks. And often I’ll just volunteer my time or help or whatever without even being asked.


Well, I think it could be any or all of those. It probably depends upon the individual guy. In my case, I think the most likely is the gentleman response. I was raised to be polite and respectful of women. Well, all people really.

It really takes little or no effort to be respectful, courteous or polite. Several times in my past a simple action like that has led to a wonderful relationship between the lady and myself. I’m not talking entirely about sex here, either. I have formed a couple great and lasting friendships just by being polite. It gives you an opportunity to spend just a couple of extra minutes with someone and from there, who knows what may happen. You just have to give yourself that chance.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

pmh–please explain how you got a ticket for witnessing an accident. I cannot figure out from your post what you possibly could mean.

Yes…send the eye.

Diane, I would say you just set women back 1000 years…

Handy- I don’t think it has anything to do with “setting women back”. It has everything to do with taking advantage of certain talents. Don’t tell me that guys don’t use the “good ole boy” tactics, or the golf course schmoozing to get places in this world. Women and men react to different types of “schmoozing”. What is wrong with using what we find works best??

Let me clarify, by works best, I mean in the types of situations mentioned previously. I don’t mean that we should bat our eyes to get promoted, etc.