The Game

Well, ya see, straight men in general do not like women, per se, but do have an unquenchable desire for female body parts. This fact alone keep us in a constant state of mild confusion. It take very little more to push us over the edge. If the pushing is done by highlighting one or more of the coveted female parts, the mild confusion suddenly becomes intense - unbearable. The mind shuts down, leaving the male utterly defenseless. At this point the enterprising female can often lead her conquest around like a whipped puppy. Hey, nature ain’t all butterflies and daiseys; sometimes it’s just plain ugly.

Ah yes… the “Cootie Conundrum”.

SanibelMan – The Man From Sanibel
“I like Florida; everything is in the eighties. The temperatures, the ages, and the IQs.”
– George Carlin

I’ve gotta weigh in here with a slightly different take here. The impulse is led partly by each of (2) rescuing the damsel, (3) feeling macho or needed, and (4) simply being a gentleman. But mostly (3). Because about the only thing that makes men feel better about themselves than helping out a woman in a jam is helping out a man in a jam. (Well, unless we get laid as a result of helping the woman, of course, but we’re under no illusions as to the odds of that happening)

It doesn’t happen very often, because it’s unmanly to be so helpless that one has to ask for the kind of assistance we’re talking about here. In the example from the OP, a man will happily scrape his wipers against the windshield and pretend he wants to do it that way rather than ask for help. Likewise, admitting that you want the lumber guy to help you with your deck is essentially the equivalent of a Terms of Endearment marathon. This explains the whole not stopping for directions thing we’ve got going.

But if a guy gets a chance to say, jump-start another guy’s car, the jump-starter hangs just a little lower in the boxers for the rest of the day. He gets to walk around like a real man and brag to his friends about the wuss he met in the parking lot. The jump-startee has to live his entire life in abject fear that someone will somehow find out.

The system as a whole works better when you help out a woman, because the jump-starter still gets to brag, throwing in a lie or two about how hot the woman was, while the woman need not feel the shame required by a male recipient of help. Heck, she can even go on a message board and opine that “God, men are easy”.

So it’s a win-win.

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

‘What is wrong with using what we find works best??’ Like, say boobrigation? You know, large breasted women have an easier time in life…
Sorry, but I just don’t think a woman who has written in another message base that she makes a reported $60,000 per year needs to resort to such tactics. Ironic that women want as much power in the workforce as men do, but have to resort to becoming ‘objects’ to get something cheaper.

It’s a long story.
Basically, I was the only witness.
The (~30ish, single) cop found a way to get the (very beautiful, crying) female driver off Scott-Free by
1)inventing a story, or
2)choosing to believe Her bogus story.

Either way, I got a ticket for something I never did. And there is NO way She would have gotten off if She were male or the cop were not.

In the future (unless someone is injured) I will just walk away. I didn’t see shit.

Handy wrote:

Actually, to put aside men’s motives for giving into feminine wiles, let’s talk about women’s motives for using them. I doubt that Dianne feels like an `object’ when she has got a man’s pulse astir. I suspect what she feels like is a woman. Whatever theory you may espouse about how women and men should behave with respect to eachother, that theory is never any stronger than the thrill of feeling charming, or of feeling charmed. Dianne may have a practical rationale for fluttering her eyelashes, but I suspect that what really motivates her to do it is that she receives flattery in return.

Of course, I could just ask Dianne what she thinks. Nah, too empirical.

Despite considerable evidence to the contrary, we (men) are not total fools. Those guys at the auto parts store were completely aware that there was no chance that Diane would be so overcome by their wiper changing ability that she’d suggest a menage-a-trois in the back seat. But men enjoy female attention and we’ll do all kinds of goofy things to get it.

I’m in on this a bit late, and manhattan has pretty much summed things up as perfectly as I could hoped to have.

Diane, I don’t suppose your coming to the Chicago meeting? I’m a sucker for the feminine wiles and could be persuaded into buying numerous drinks, and I’d love every minute of it ;). Sure, I’m a sucker…or am I?

I’d like to see a picture of Diane to see what she’s got that is so male testerone attractive.

Handy, you haven’t been paying attention, have you? Diane has posted the link to her picture several times. I’m not going to put it here though; I’ll leave it up to her to decide if she wants to do so again.

Hint, be ready for, and I will quote myself, “Wow!”

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

I think it’s time that I made this confession. I am very much on the… charm deficient side. It isn’t that I’m not attractive, if I put a little effort into it, I can turn a lot of heads, but I am simply too self-conscious to be able to pull anything like that off. Added to that is the fact that I have the personality of a cactus. Any time I try to be charming, I wind up being annoying. So there is some hope for you menfolk, it isn’t just a matter of turning on the charm, it’s a matter of doing it correctly.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

On more than one occasion, I’ve had women try the “I’m so helpless and pitiful and charming that you just have to do whatever I ask” bit on me. It’s extremely obvious, of course, and the whole concept just makes me angry. In all cases, my reaction is as follows:

“Lady, not all men are idiots that you can lead around by the nose, and it pisses me off that you think we are. You’re lucky I’m too nice a guy to just leave you stuck. If you want, I’ll tell you how to (change your tire / fix your PC / recover your deleted term paper), and I’ll even hang around and give you some help while you doing it. But there’s just no way I’m gonna do it for you.”

Laugh hard; it’s a long way to the bank.

I witnessed an accident once where the female driver (who was cute AND AT FAULT) got the male driver to say “don’t worry about it” and not take down insurance, wait for police, etc. I felt like walking over and slapping him one.

So yes, there are times when I consider such behaviour inappropriate.
– Sylence

And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.

Handy - IF I were a helpless little puppy who couldn’t kill a freakin spider without a man, then yeah, I would feel a little degraded that I would have to stoop to such tactics in order to have anything done for me.

Truth is, is that I am very capable of doing many things. Being a single woman for 11 years forces you to learn a lot of mechanical, carpentry, plumbing, electrical, and even bug killing skills. Don’t make me list my projects and items in my power tool collection, it would make you and the guys at Home Depot blush with inadequate feelings.

But ya know what? I am also pretty good at WOMAN skills too (ALL women have the capability. It has NOTHING to do with looks or boob-size). If turning on the charm makes two men change my windshield wipers in the cold, rain, and wind while I stand there (or should I say sit there in a warm, dry car) and make them feel like my knights in shining armor, well hell, I’m gonna do it.

If smiling sweetly at a cop and promising him that I will “Be more careful and watch my speed a little bit closer.” will prevent me from a ticket, well hell, I’m gonna do that also.

I’m not justifying my actions, I was only asking what it is in men that make them react to situations like these. Speaking only from my observations, most men like to feel needed by the opposite sex. I just feel it is my civic duty to help them out sometimes. :slight_smile:

FTR Handy, you mention my workplace. I am not stupid. I would NEVER, EVER apply these things here at work. If I did, I would be chewed up and spit out. A person’s life at work runs on an entirely different set of rules than our personal lives. Just as I stated in the BUSTED AT WORK thread, to be successful in corporate America, you have to play by the rules, like it or not. I know these rules and one of the rules is never play your male co-workers unless you have no ambition further than the Lobby Receptionist.

If you are curious to see what I look like, I am pictured on the home page. Nothing special, although I really appreciate UncleBeers compliments. I think it should be mentioned that (1) I’m no extraordinary beauty that has men everywhere eating out of my hand, and (2) all women are capable of have this power over men, regardless of their looks or boob-size.

UncleBeer, I think one of my biggest turn-ons is a man who knows how to be a gentleman to not only the ladies, but people in general. I think that it wonderful!

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Diane, you’re hot. And I’d change your wiper blades in a second…but I’d do it for pretty much anybody.


P.S. This is not a flirt, only an observation. Very happily married.

Uh, sorry to interrupt, but…Anything I can do for you ladies? Please?

Give me a backrub? (smile, bat eyes)

See, what did I tell you? It’s not working.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

Works for me…(begins massaging).

Diane, I don’t see your named listed at the site you gave…

So, I wonder what’s kinda lower, a person using their sex appeal or handicap to get something they are not otherwise entitled to?

Handi - GAWD, lighten up and pull your shorts outa yer ass!

I am listed as KITTEN8808, my screen name on the old SDMB. (Thought my sig would have been the first clue.)

To answer your question, what am I not entitled to? Extra sssistance from the workers at an auto parts store or the lumber yard? The “warning” the cop gave to me instead of a ticket? The low-bid and discount for my sprinking system? The “found” box seats that the ticket booth guy sold to me at a regular seat price?

Next time I will beg for the traffic ticket and insist that I pay the extra $$$ for the sprinkling system and baseball ticket. Oh, and maybe I will tell the guys to kiss my ass when they offer to help me with my car or lumber.

Then again, maybe not.

I didn’t twist anyone’s arm fercryingoutloud.

We had a saying on the old SDMB that I think would be appropriate to bring back to life right about now. . . .


If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.