I don’t think of myself as a prude or an exceptionally “vanilla”-tempered person when it comes to sexuality. I like the vividness of passion and the storminess of its energies, and I have some kinks along the shores of my own riverbed where the currents flow in fascinatingly twisted turbulences in addition to the spectacular main rapids.
But I find my nose up in the air just a bit (in the aesthetic judgument sense, not in the sense of whether or not such-and-such should be allowed) nevertheless when it comes to much of the content of sexual fetishes and accoutrements and the people who identify with them and wear the acronyms by which they are identified.
With issues of appetite and arousal and how they can work independently of judgment and volitional intention, there are capacities in all of us for experiencing our own loss of control as erotic, and likewise for the experience of stimulating a partner beyond volitional control, so I’m not surprised that a great many people interweave these themes into their erotic life…but why so many folks who go out and buy the same paraphernalia and recite the same choreographies of fluffy whip and velvet wrist-tie and handcuff, dog collar and spike-studded garment and high heel, the same ritualistic “master” and “slave” and “spank me” and"tie me up" and “may I” and “you may”?
Boring, trite, unoriginal. Prepackaged. Pedestrian. Vanilla. Somehow there’s something sad about such a lack of originality in these supposedly perverse waters. If anything there are more variations in the most mainstream of themes.
Yeah, sorry I couldn’t work up sufficient brimstone to put it into the pit. The lack of significantly imaginative electrical voltage I refer to doesn’t inspire more than a passing crackly spark of disdain, I’m afraid.
::rolls eyes at the oh-so-risqué masks and gags in the window and walks on::
I suppose these things could be original or exciting to people who never tried them. Then there is the maturity factor, too. Perhaps teens would find such things very novel and fascinating.
There is something that I enjoy* that is so scripted that to most people** it would seem laughably boring. I believe that the enjoyment I get from it must come from being able to trigger a response that must have been planted in my head at a very early age, so long ago I can’t retrieve the memory (and don’t you think I haven’t tried, fascinated as I am). My theory works better with some more than others, namely with upskirt stuff, humiliation, sissy boy scenes, etc. There probably weren’t that many people getting tied up and whipped at a very young age so that must come from somewhere else.
*Not in a billion years, don’t ask.
** There is a small group of people on the web but good luck IRL.
AHunter3, I think I know what you mean. I’ve sometimes known people to sneer at boring “vanilla” sex, but some of these same people seemed to have pretty boring sex lives themselves. Sure, there are flavors other than vanilla in the world, and some of them are much more exotic, but if a person goes for the same damn thing every time then I call that boring no matter how strange the flavor may be.
whatever floats your boat, AHunter3. If plain vanilla sex is what keeps you happy and content, by all means do just that. If there is ever a need to try something creative, please try it. If you dont like it, dont do it. If people call you boring, ignore them. Youre not having sex with them and shouldnt have to answer to their standards of “sexual innovativeness”.
just remember, the most popular flavor of ice cream *is vanilla. That many people cant be all wrong especially when it comes to preference.
There could also be the comfort factor for that paraphernalia and those choreographies. People might channel their energy toward the same “kinks” because they get the right sense of enpowerment (or the loss of power) to spark arousal in them.
It also save the time and effort of finding new “gear” or inventing new “scenarios”. Besides, if such things strayed too far from the, so to speak, “standard” tropes of many fetishes, wouldn’t that make it a fetish of a different feather (damn, what a dreadful attempt at a pun).
Isn’t part of what makes a fetish the fact that it’s appeal is rather personal and unique to the individual feeling it? That its YMMV factor is part of what sets it apart?
Don’t consider myself vanilla. Ripple perhaps, or vanilla with toppings*. I just don’t identify with any subcultural/acronymmed variant. I make mine up as I go along. (and, like Bruce_Daddy, I ain’t gonna discuss most of it).
Just wondering about why anyone would associate the flavor vanilla with “plain”. Vanilla is a strong, exotic flavor. Try making vanilla ice cream without it and you’ll see!
Well I am an old fogey. I think teens should find plain old ordinary sex novel and fascinating. They can save the fuzzy handcuffs & stuff for their 30s. When they’ll need it!
I think what the OP refers to is that what used to be called kinky is now becoming more acceptable. What is more, you can find it on the TV, in books, magazines and, of course, on the web. The same kinks have gone on for ever, but before no-one knew that lots of people shared their passions. Now its common knowledge and there is no longer the secrecy (or the thrill) of being so different. As such, I think you’re right and some kinks are now more vanilla than, well, vanilla!
Just my opinion, as someone who finally realised that I was ‘normal’ only a few years ago when I discovered the internet.
