In this thread on sexual incompatiblity, it’s mentioned by several dopers that there was incompatability between kinks. One poster said his kinks left her feeling depersonalized while hers did nothing for him.
So - rather than hijack that thread, I’m curious - and it’s little more than voyeurism (yes, I’m a bit kinky that way) - but what is your kink? What partner’s kinks freaked you out?
I shouldn’t ask without offering, so… my wife and I use simple sex toys but we don’t dress up or role play. Erotic stories do it for both of us but porn does less for her than I - nothing unusual there, I believe. What porn she does like tends to be the GG stuff. We sometimes tell each other homemade fantasy stories as part of foreplay.
I have to admit that I wouldn’t mind playing some dominance games of the on-your-knees-bitch variety but I’m afraid of alienating her. Other than that, I think my comparatively minor kinks are being met.
I’m single, and while the chances of me ever being in a sexual relationship with another Doper (or someone who reads the Dope) are slim, I’d still rather not risk ruining the surprise.
Do kinks have to be something you’ve actually done, or just wanked to porn? My real life is straight vanilla, my fantasies are exotic bordering on extreme. And who knows what would turn you on in real life as opposed to fantasizing about?
Oh, I definitely agree with the difference between real life and fantasy kinks. If I saw a latex clad, paddle-bearing German dominatrix coming for me in real life, I’d run screaming, but (there’s a chance) that’s what I think about…from time to time…
What?
Be easier to list the ones I don’t have. No children, animals, shit, gunplay. Er…furries (I’d just burst out laughing). Other than that most things…oh except dominating someone else (unless I’m told to). I’m not a switch.
Well, I have kinks I like in porn that I would never imagine doing IRL. I think it’s becuase it takes more to get me off when I’m…you know…playing in single-player mode.
In co-op multiplayer mode, I’m down to try just about anything twice but I really haven’t and it doesn’t necessarily bother me that much. Oral both ways is a must; anal is almost a must for me too, now that I’ve tried it. Willingness to try it twice, at least, is pretty much a must.
The only thing I really haven’t done much of that I’d want to try is having sex in more adventurous locales. Oh, and threesomes. 2:1 or 1:2–either one would be an interesting adventure. I’m not cool with doing stuff with the other guy in the 2:1, though, so to be fair I wouldn’t expect the two girls to mess around with each other unless they were into that kind of thing.
Like I said above, just about any other kink I’d be willing to try once or twice.
Although I should list some things I’m really not down for, too; I’m not at all into emotional dominance either way, and somewhat like betenoir I’m not interested in anything involving animals, children, scat, weapons or costumes of any kind, even the nurse/police/doctor/nurse/whatever–that just seems silly to me. I don’t think I’d do any kind of serious RP, either, for kind of the same reason.
I guess I’m just plain vanilla. The “kinkiest” thing I’ve ver done with my wife was the time when she went to a women’s only church function. While she was gone, I set a small table on the rear deck, put candles on it, laid out a “Tuscan Sun” tray with proscuitto, cheeses, sparkling grape juice, and dressed in a tux.
When she arrived back home, I opened the door and escorted her out, talking in a faux-French accent, to our demi-meal.
Feel free to snore while reading this, I won’t be offended.
First of all I HATE the word “kinky,” almost as much as “naughty.” Ewwwww!
That being said, My Guy and I have very few limits in our relationship. There are only a few things that we have never done and will never do, and we love discovering new ways to give each other pleasure. So chances are, if you can imagine it, we’ve done it.
That’s my only major one, and most of my other “minor” kinks feed off that one. I’m also a switch. I have few limits, but those I have are firm, and similar to betenoir’s.
Hmm, good point … and with a DC Dopefest approaching, and everything!
Mostly, it’s voyeurism. And writing erotica. If I were to date someone who didn’t enjoy receiving personalized erotic e-mails, I don’t know how long the relationship would continue. It’s kind of a compulsion. But voyeurism is huge: I love porn, but I can’t stand it when anyone involved is obviously aware of the camera. I don’t really care for strip clubs, for the same reason: the dancers are supposed to pay attention to the patrons, and I just want to be ignored! One of my favorite pieces of erotica was written for the last guy I dated, and it involved me “catching” him masturbating and then watching without him knowing it. Big fantasy.
I agree that some fantasy things have no place in real life: the “watching my SO masturbate” thing is something I’d love to have happen, but sometimes a nice set of tits in porn turn me on even though I have absolutely no lesbian tendencies in real life (and trust me, I’ve had opportunities!). I like exchanging fantasies with my SO, but I always find out which ones are just fantasy.
A kink that I think I have but haven’t had the chance to try yet is D/s (dominance/submissiveness). I have both tendencies in me, and would love to someday find a partner willing to experiment with both sides of himself.
I don’t think there’s any such thing as “too much.” One of my favorite quotes is from Anne Rampling (aka Anne Rice) in her book Exit to Eden:
There may be things that don’t “do it” for me, but I’m willing to try just about anything at least once.
I like to bite and scratch. Furthermore, I love things to be a little rough to me sometimes. Bite me, scratch me (don’t draw blood, please, but I won’t complain if there are marks, so long as they’re in places that I can cover up). Unfortuneately, most guys are rather timid in this respect; they’re afraid to hurt me.
One of the most enjoyable sexual encounters I ever had left me with hickeys, a bruise, a bite mark on my back, and scratch marks (those faded within an hour, though). And we didn’t even have intercourse (the damn condom broke as he was putting it on, and we didn’t have any more).
I’ve never tried bondage, but being tied up is something that definitely seems worth trying at some point.
Granted, sometimes I’m in the mood for something a bit gentler, but generally, I like it a little rough.
Let me tell ya, I was mightily disappointed with the ending to your story, especially considering how it started.
The first girl I made out with was like this, too. I was pretty timid at first, but when I got into it it was a lot of fun! I was horrified when I pulled away from her breastices and there were deep marks all over, but she loved it, and I thought, “Hey, that’s kinda cool”…not so much the biting and mark-leaving, but the incredible passion of it all. No holding back, just releasing all of our sexual energy. She and I never had intercourse, but she was the best sexual partner I’d ever had because of that unbridled passion.
I like to be dominated. I like being told what to do. I like things rough. My husband was a little timid at first, and he still has his moments (he’ll break “character” sometimes and gasp, “Oh my god, did I hurt you?!” Yeah, sweetie, that’s what I asked for! :smack: He’s a good man, my man). Anal. Toys. Sexy clothes. I like trying new places and positions often. I bore easily, so…
Despite my kinks, there is enormous love, respect, and trust involved, or it doesn’t go down at all. That is a necessity above all else.
However, I draw the line firmly at scat or piss play. Not my thing at all. Also, nothing illegal. I don’t do animals. Furries? I don’t know. I’ve never encountered one. If my husband ever came home in a bunny suit, I’d likely point and laugh, but he’d still get laid if his erection survived my taunting.
[SPOILER]
I did once wear cat ears to bed. In the midst of things, I looked over my shoulder at my husband.
“Wait a minute. Are you screwing me, or the cat?”
“I’m screwing you in cat ears.”
“Proceed.”
Hold me down, rough me up, slap my ass. You know the usual kinks. I have this fantasy about my husband catching me at work, hauling me into a room holding me down and f*cking the hell out of me.
He, on the other hand doesn’t do rough, any of you ladies got any hints on bringing a fella around.
He also likes the school girl skirt thing… Yeah we’re vanilla.
I’m not judging you, but could you dial it back a little? Some of the people who read these boards are underage, and we don’t want their minds to get warped reading about your sick sexual perversions.
Hi, monica, I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced…
I like rough sex, and I like a bit of bondage. I like to hold women down and tie them up and fight a bit. I hasten to add that I’m a pretty decent guy, more or less, but I do like to play rough in bed.
But voyeurism is huge: I love porn, but I can’t stand it when anyone involved is obviously aware of the camera. I don’t really care for strip clubs, for the same reason: the dancers are supposed to pay attention to the patrons, and I just want to be ignored! One of my favorite pieces of erotica was written for the last guy I dated, and it involved me “catching” him masturbating and then watching without him knowing it. Big fantasy.