So Jonathan, you’re saying that lots of oranges won’t give me a giant penis?
pan
Hey waterj2! It appears there is no active posting, but the threads are still up. Bummer for those of us hoping for a little LBMB-style funnin’ with fundies.
Check out the Forums link, go to Open Discussions, and read the thread “Please Pray! Demon Possessed Woman”. One quote that struck me was this:
Judy says:
Unfortunately, this thread seems to have a whiff of Fundie Kidnapping of Mentally Ill Person Gone Horribly Wrong. Frightening stuff.
Goboy: Pangloss school of optimism… teeheehee!!!
Dammit I wish I’d made that observation first!
Oops I forgot to make my observation about the quote in my above post:
Based on some responses to [htm]http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/“this thread”[/htm], I’d say lots of people probably think their siblings are tormented by demons.
Oh Jesus H. Christ! Hit the wrong goddamn button trying to preview while searching for this piece of shit thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=75539
And I’m not even going to try to do one of those badass links, because I’d probably just screw that the fuck up too.
Fuck. The wages of mockery are screwed up posts.
Some Facts:
From Ray Comfort:
Note that the banana:
Is shaped for human hand
Has non-slip surface
Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
Has a tab for removal of wrapper
Is perforated on wrapper
Bio-degradable wrapper
Is shaped for human mouth
Has a point at top for ease of entry
Is pleasing to taste buds
Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy
From Groucho Marx:
“Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.”
Now you can take my quiz. There’s only two questions.
-
Which person is a genius?
a)Ray
b)Groucho -
Which person is a moron?
a)Ray
b)Groucho
Heh!
I’m not saying anything of the kind. But surgically inserting oranges um, down there, to increase it’s size seems a little drastic.
You’re adorable in your haplessness, missdavis102. Now get down on your knees.
The same can be said for a variety of things found in nature, both fruity and not.
Actually, plantains are at their best when black.
I haven’t been able to open a banana properly using that “tab” in about five years.
Huh? It is SO not perforated!
If the human mouth is perfectly circular!
I know of no other food for which this is true.[/sarcasm]
Ignoring for the moment the fact that human being aren’t the only animals who eat bananas . . . and the fact that other being who eat bananas have hands nothing like ours, nor mouths like ours, nor taste buds like ours . . .
Orange you glad I didn’t say . . .
::ducks bananas and beer bottles::
BANA–
::thud::
[sub]Perfect density for renderment of humans unconscious, as noted in Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War”[/sub]
Hey Fiver, big fella, how YOU doin’?
::Very Suggestive Wink::
[garbled]Deeh Gahb, Ah doe dah Ah hab shiunned…[/garbled]
“Has non-slip surface”
You know, I’m surprised that no one has pointed out the total idiocy of trying to prove the existence of God by pointing to the fact that a banana, of all things, has a “non-slip” surface. Mr. Comfort, do you want people to laugh at you?
-Ben
At the risk of further lowering the tone of this thread (and after my last post is that really possible?) I would like to use Mr. Comfort’s list to mention a few things about myself that may indeed prove the existance and omnipotence of God and the futility of Evolution:
[ul]
Banana: Is shaped for human hand…Me: Not only shaped for the human hand, but am in part shaped like a human hand (two in fact)
Banana: Has non-slip surface…Me: Also has non-slip surface
Banana: Has outward indicators of inward content:
[list]Green-too early…Me: Silent with cold shoulder - too early
Yellow-just right…Me: Giggling - just right
Black-too late…Me: Asleep - too late[/ul]
Banana: Has a tab for removal of wrapper…Me: Buttons, snaps, etc for removal of wrapper
Banana: Is perforated on wrapper…Me: Well, my wrappers don’t usually perforate :eek:
Banana: Bio-degradable wrapper…Me: Biodegradable, too
Banana: Is shaped for human mouth…Me: <giggle>
Banana: Has a point at top for ease of entry…Me: Umm, no, but…
Banana: Is pleasing to taste buds…Me: <giggle>
Banana: Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy…Me: <giggle>
[/list]
Really, Mr. Comfort, that was just too easy. I am obviously proof of God’s Divine Will. :rolleyes: 
Try this one, Ben:
So if there is no God, Mussolini would have lived forever? It’s at the end of a long excerpt from a book where he says only a person who knows everything could truly be an atheist.
Here is another book about Nostradamus, complete with interpretations of Nosy’s ramblings.
You didn’t need a big list to prove that! Just the fact that men routinely shout His name whilst uh, with you is sufficient. 