A Fun New Creationist Argument

This is really more MPSIMS than a Pit thread, but I’m putting it here just to be safe.

So it’s true folks. A banana converted me to God.

I’m reminded that you could say most of the same things about a dick (shaped for human hand, non-slip surface, shaped for human mouth, pointed top, pleasing to taste buds, curved towards the face), but if I go along with that argument by design I’m the spawn of Satan!

It’s great if it’s a parody, and even better if it’s serious. Might I inquire where you found it?

Aha! That’s evidence that humans descended from apes! Seriously: 1-apes have hands, 2-the banana is fit to the ape’s hands, 3-the banana is fit to the human hand, 3-therefore, humans are related to apes.

Makes just as much (<ahem> little) sense as the Creationist “argument.”

It was delivered to me in earnest, but I wonder if it didn’t begin as a joke. The place I heard it was a local message board that I’m going to keep anonymous for the moment fearing the results I’ve seen in other episodes of When Dopers Attack.

So by that argument, nobody should eat nuts?

[li]Hard shell you need tools to open.[/li][li]No outward guarantee of edibility. (Bad nuts look just like good ones until you spend the calories to open them.)[/li][li]Getting them out of the tree can be painful to those below.[/li][/ul]

Satan makes humans eat nuts! Eating nuts is wrong!

(matt_mcl is going to be laughing really hard right about now.)


Good to know I’m not the only one who still gets mail like this. Try though I might, I can’t get my poor dear mother to look at snopes before hitting the ‘forward’ button.

Truly, a fearsome and awe-inspiring sight to behold.

Even better, the modern day banana is created by man, not God. They have been um, selected for a very long time to produce large, easy to handle fruit.

See, Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel, p. 122 (selected for very small or nonexistent seeds); p. 186 (intentionally spread over the course of 1,600 years); p. 400 (originated in Southeast Asia and migrated to Africa sometime after 1000 A.D.).


The banana was not created for man.
Man was created for the banana.

I’d believe that if they came with the ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream already inside.

The banana or the man?


And all this time, I thought the dreams about flesh-eating mutant zombies were cause for alarm. Now I know: it’s the bananas I need to fear…

Please god don’t tell me your dick is green and yellow…


So of God designed the banana, than what sick fuck thought the pineapple was a good idea?

Does anybody know how all the banana plants survived underwater for a year during the great flood?

That would be me.

And your problem with that is?

Hmmm…apropo of matt’s comment, much the same can be said of the dick :slight_smile: .

Derleth thinks that nuts are a bad design (the food - not the body part), but all his/her arguments go triple for coconuts.

If I ever get that email, I’m going to reply with ten reasons that the coconut proves that God hates us.

People, don’t mock the banana. Clearly, the banana is our savior. Let us give adulation to the banana, worship it, stroke it, obey its every command.


Creationism: A cult that worships phallic fruit and eyeballs.